Good Idea or Bad

Michelle - posted on 05/15/2010 ( 56 moms have responded )

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I have a 3 month old son and would like to get preg again in sep or oct. Is it a good idea or bad idea to have my children a little over a year apart?

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[deleted account]

My doctor said you should wait 3-4 years after having a child before you try again to give your body the appropriate amount of time to recover!

Rebecca - posted on 05/17/2010

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they say it takes about a year for the body to heal after the birth. You need to take prenatal asap if you plan on having another. Even if you do start them right now, your next baby risks not getting the proper nutrients it needs to grow while in utero because your body is trying to recoup you so to have another baby in there wouldn't help you. It could be dangerous for you and the baby. Wait until your little guy is almost 1 before trying and start those vitamins now:) We got PG with our second when our first was 13 months old. I find it was a great age difference and he is very helpful because of the age he was.
Good luck with your decision:) do what is best for you and your family.

Jessica - posted on 05/15/2010

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I think it's totally up to you to decide. I hear it takes 18 months for your body to completely recover from having 1, so I'm going to space mine out a little. However, it's your choice and many moms have made the same decision you're about to and love it.

Nicole - posted on 05/15/2010

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Enjoy your first baby. You will never have that again. You do not know what kind of toddler he will be either. I would not worry so much about you hubby to be's age. My first 2 are 2 years apart and my third is about 2 3/4 younger than my second. Good luck with whatever you decide.

Katie - posted on 05/15/2010

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my son is 9 months now and i am pregnant. Once my new baby is born my son will be 1 yrs old and they will be 1 yr apart. I dont see anything wrong. Its just you have to be prepared for having two in diapers. Personally, i would rather have my kids close together so they dont get as jealous bc they wont remember when they were the only child. My nieces were 1 yr apart and they were inseperable but some kids are the total opposite. I think it is a good idea to have kids close together but its up to you if you are prepared for it. Good luck!

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Michelle - posted on 05/18/2010

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Laura,
My soon to be does help espically with the night feeding which is great! Everyone has been so helpful and for the most part everyone has been on the positive side. Thank you to all that gave your advice!

[deleted account]

But, Heather, would it not be easier physically and emotionally as well to wait a bit? I know how tough it was for my husband and I, he HAD to work, no if's and's or but's about it and I did it on my own during the week and he would do it weekends.

Still... at the end of the day you should do what you feel and think to be the best. Good luck!

Heather - posted on 05/18/2010

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I would love another one just now there is 6 years between the 3 of mine and i think it is to big an age gap.I would like to have another one and only be 1/2 years apart, and it'd prob be easier than having to wait for years then starting again

Claire - posted on 05/18/2010

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my son is now 6moths i will be coming off the pill on his 1st birthday to try again.x

Haley - posted on 05/18/2010

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There is 13 months between my two girls and although it was hard through the pregnancy and also at first when Livvi was born. Its so lovely to see them playing together etc. There is 10 years between me and my sister and its only now were older we can actually do stuff together etc
I think having them close together is extremely hard work but its worth it and I wont be waiting long before I have baby no 3!!
The only downside is your body I guess, they say you should wait at least 2 years before your next but this all depends on your own situation and if you think you can cope.
haley x

Jane - posted on 05/17/2010

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our first two kids are 18 mos apart and our 2nd and 3rd will be 22 months apart. do what works for your family.

Elysia - posted on 05/17/2010

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my son was only 6months when i fell pregnant again, we didnt exactly plan them so close together but we didnt try to stop it either we kinda relied on bf as our safety net and yes knowin that its far less reliable than anything else. I think it really depends on you, your lifestyle, financial situation etc. You have to be willing to make more sacrifices on your time with them both being so little, be prepared for double the nappies. Im now 8weeks from my due date and getting rather excited. i have days where i feel a little guilty that my son isnt older but then i also feel happy as he loves other kids and think them being so close will be a great thing. I have large age gaps with my siblings. My brother is 5yrs younger than me and my sister is 15yrs younger so we have nothing in common and its hard. Do wat feels right for you and your family. Ive spoken to alot of other mums who had small gaps and then had a larger gap and most have said the closer gap was better.

Lisa - posted on 05/17/2010

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I waited a little bit in between my children and they are inseparable. To see the two of them together is the greatest sight. They won’t argue over toys or scream that one hurt the other. My oldest is 17 years old and my youngest is 8 months old. Now granted, this is an extreme jump in ages but seriously, if I could go back in time and change it I wouldn’t. Because my biological clock is ticking here at age 39 we are not really “trying” for another but we are not stopping it either.

CARRIE - posted on 05/17/2010

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How close you want to have your children is a personal choice. From a health point of view your body needs time in between pregnancies to recover. And if your son is your first child I will say this......I just had my first child 11 months ago and after I gave birth I missed being pregnant for at least 4 months after he was born and dreamed of having another. But, now that he is 11 months old I couldn't imagine being prego and dealing with his needs and demands! I may want another but, 2 in diapers is not for me.

Alicia Anne - posted on 05/17/2010

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I think its a great idea if that is what you feel you want to do in your heart! My daughter is 8 months old and I am 3 months pregnant due in November. The closer the better! You might as well do all the stages together :)

Susan - posted on 05/17/2010

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I've had my children now ages 6, 5, 4, and would have been 3. I was absoulutley terrified when I got pregnant again so soon after my first, but also excited as we had been trying for almost 4 years to conceive our first. It does take its toll on your body having them so close as I didn't really have time to get my body back to normal. However it is well worth it I must admit I do wish I could have enjoyed the first years more but it has been a wonderful experience which continues. They are all well adjusted children and having eachother is a benefit. I wouldn't change a thing.

Julie - posted on 05/17/2010

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It all depends on how much time you have and patents . Your first child will be pottytraining for example while you have a new born is it possable for you to jump up to run your toddler to the potty while your newborn is lets say breat feeding ? if you say yes to that then go for it !!your children will be close in age so it will probaly make ther closer to each other!! It will take a lot of time to get into a routine but I am shure with a little help and understanding you can for shure do it ... My Sister Has a 1and 1/2 yearold girl and is due with her son in In August . I also have two little sisters one turned 5 in November and the other turns 6 In August !! So no worries Its common to have babys clost together !!! Good luck!!!!!

Lea - posted on 05/17/2010

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You have a 3 month old and you want another already? I would think you would have your hands full at this point, but since apparently you don't, I'd say go for it.

Kelly - posted on 05/17/2010

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The gaps between mine are 2 years, 8 years, and 4 years. All have their advantages. My friend has a gap of 15 months between her youngest two, and while it was difficult in some ways, in a lot of ways it has been great. They are inseperable, and the younger wants to do everything the older does (such as potty training). It is a challenge but definitely can be fun. Go for it!

Alicia - posted on 05/17/2010

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I say if thats what you want go for it. Personally I didnt feel we were ready (emotionaly, phsyically, and fiancially) until my son was 16 mths, so my kids are now 25 mths apart.

Rozalyn - posted on 05/17/2010

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Another benefit to having two young ones is that you're already used to bottles, changing diapers, etc. AND, we still had our baby swing, play mats, rattles, high chair so we didn't even have to have a second baby shower.

Rozalyn - posted on 05/17/2010

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My two boys are 15 months apart (oldest is 20 months, youngest is 5 months). I'm not going to lie, there are times when it is really hard and frustrating because they're both so young, they both require so much attention. However, being so close in age, they have built-in best friends. My toddler already tries to play with the baby. If you want to have another right away, I say go for it! We didn't mean to have our kids so close together, but I never for a second regret it!

[deleted account]

Personally, I would wait. I would like my kids to be about 3 years apart. That way I don't have to be diapering to bottoms!! I know lots of people who have kids close in age though and they love it. It's whatever works for you and your family!

Laura - posted on 05/17/2010

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my husband is also really involved and very helpful...so that makes a difference too to have a good support system :)

Laura - posted on 05/17/2010

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that's what I did! I got pregnant when my first son was 3 months old. I am due in a couple months. I know it is going to be a lot of work, but I am so excited! I have only heard positive things about having kids close together. But you'll have to expect things to be crazy when they are young. If you know you can handle stress like that, than I think it will be totally worth it!

Sherry - posted on 05/17/2010

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hey sweety.. the choice is yours.. personally I'd like to have my children closer in age. But I'm in my 30's now so I feel that maternal clock tickin a little slower if we want to have more then just our current little boy.. My man now wants a little girl and I've told him he's got 2 shots for a girl... then I'm done... The choice is really yours... some prefer them spaced out.. some don't....

Nikki - posted on 05/17/2010

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We want our kids close together but around a 2-2.5 year gap. I felt the same way you did right after I had my son. But i knew I wanted to enjoy just him a little bit longer. The baby you have now might be very peaceful and easy and you think you can handle two and perhaops it will work out that way. But once your baby becomes mobile, its a whole new world for you. You will be running around all day everyday. My son learned how to crawl at 7 months and has been GO GO GO all the time. Dont get me wrong I love that he is growing and learning and I love playing with him but there is no way I would have been able to deal with the stage of him learnign how to move and constantly watching his every move in fear of him cracking his head open , plus running around to make sure he is not up to trouble, PREGNANT. I would be a zombie. Im exhasuted every day now I nap with him to catch up on ZZZZZ`s. I think you should wait til your son is mobile then make the decision whether your ready then, because u might have a different opinion. I also wanted to be able to enjoy all his milestones and focus just on him during those time. If you wait til he is a year its not that far off then by the time you have the next hell be two and talking and able to help you out more.

[deleted account]

Do whatever you want, it's your body and it's your decision.
We had planned children two years apart and I just couldn't do it. I don't carry well so I wasn't ready mentally and my body just wasn't ready either. We now have four kids (not having anymore) at 2-3-2yrs apart and I am glad that I took that 3yr break. I have friends who had kids 9mths (complete accident), then 1yr and again 1yr apart and she is so glad that it happened that way and wouldn't want it any other way whereas I couldn't imagine it so in essence, the choice is yours.
I don't agree with Breanne because every child is different and every pregnancy is different and there are things that you forget and new things to learn so stating that you should wait and get more experience just isn't logical.

Melissa - posted on 05/16/2010

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Diapers Diaper Diapers! It's all about babies when you have them so close together. It can be a wonderful thing if you think that you can handle to very young children at once. They play together, and enjoy it a lot. If you want to wait that's also a very good idea then your eldest will have a lot of independence which will give you time to deal with the younger child.

Beth - posted on 05/16/2010

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i honestly think its down to your own opinion. if thats what yo want to do then do it. im a younger sister to my brother who is 18 months older than me and its good to have a sibling close to your age.

Shyianna - posted on 05/16/2010

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thats all ur decission of course but if u think you can handle it why not.

Lisa - posted on 05/16/2010

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actually its not bad at all. from what I see my neices about a year & a half apart and they get along great...you can also reuse clothes right away, toys don't need to be put away they can play together b/c they are closer in age...this also works if you have a boy & girl around the same age. they can be potty training together...the younger watches the older but they both seem to get it around the same time even though all children are different. buying in bulk is also cheaper & it will get easier as the years go by...depending on when your next one is born...how close their birthdays will be. some actually try & get it the same month so they can have one big party but for 2...I suggest the opposite, they should have 2 separate birthdays if you do decide to have them close in month. this way they get to have their own day & have their own identity as they get older.

Kate - posted on 05/16/2010

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My oldest was 27 months when l had our twins. He still doesn't like them, he's so jealous. l wish we'd had the twins sooner to avoid the jealousy. Everyone says how their little girl is a little mommy to their younger sibling. l don't seem to ever hear about boys loving their younger siblings like that. The twins are 9 months old and we are planning on trying again later this summer, making them right at 2 years old when we have the next baby/babies.

As for waiting for your body to recover, there doesn't seem to be too many times that we hear of complications from not letting your body have enough time to recover.

[deleted account]

i have two boys almost 13 mos apart, both suprising blessings lol.. they loovve each other.. theyre like twins now really.. works for me most days lol.. they are helpful to each other, play nice most of the time and still enjoy playing alone or with other kids

Sabrina - posted on 05/16/2010

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Im 6 months pregnant and i have a 13 mnth old and definately never planned for my kids to be this close together but it has its ups and downs as with anything in life you just have to think about whats right for you!

[deleted account]

My sister and i are 15 months apart. We were best friends, but we also fought a lot too. Now we are inseperable! I had my first son 7 months ago & she just had her son 3 weeks ago so they weill be close too! It will be hard!!!

Lucy - posted on 05/16/2010

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Well, I can't speak for anyone else, but ours are 16 months apart and it works great for us.

The nappies, sleepless nights etc, were all over quickly, and they are the best of friends.

We didn't plan it this way, but now with hindsight, we would do it the same way again.

I'm sure a small age gap wouldn't be for everybody, but if it is your instinct to do it this way I'm sure it will suit you nicely.

Lillie - posted on 05/16/2010

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Well that depends hun. When your children are close in age it can be a tug of war for your attention (at all ages but most of all toddlers), and its no fun having two diapered babies. My childern are all within 2 1/2 years apart except for my almost 16 year old and it isn't easy but very interesting. There are good things about having them close also, they always have a playmte. Althi=ough they may not always want to play together. I do know that having them too far apart is no peaches and cream. In my experience maybe one year is a llittle to soon but two to three is much better. Hope this helps and good luck with whatever you decide.

Ashley - posted on 05/16/2010

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my kids are just over a year apart and its great if you feel ready for another go for it

Melissa - posted on 05/16/2010

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I think it is up to you and what you can handle. If you can handle two babies in diapers and since our first will be so young still he will still need a lot of attention. But if you think that you can handle it then go for it. My son was 2 1/2 and mostly potty trained when I had my daugther. I think it was a little easier because he was more independent. But I know many people who have had babies very close together and they did fine. It is totally up to you. Good Luck!

Michelle - posted on 05/16/2010

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Its really up to you, only you know what you can handle, and what kind of help you have.

Tabitha - posted on 05/16/2010

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GOOD IDEA!!!

I had my boys 15 months apart. The are now almost 4 and 2 1/2. They are the best of friends. it was tough in the beginning b/c my first son didn't start walking until 14 months so he was still extremely wobbly and I ended up carrying them both all the time. But looking back, it was SO worth it! You make the decision that is right for your family.

Pam - posted on 05/16/2010

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I wanted my kids a year apart but it didn't work out that way. Instead they are just over 2 years apart but it works and they are each others best friend. There will always be sibling rivalry but they love each other so much and would do anything for the other one. It was nice to have our son out of diapers shortly after our daughter was born but do what feels best for your family.

Bethany - posted on 05/16/2010

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neither good or bad. It depends on what they turn out like, and you can't know that until you have 'em. If that's how close you want them, then go ahead.

Becky - posted on 05/15/2010

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My kids are 33 months apart and I HATE IT. We are planning on trying to get pregnant again when our baby is 6-8 months old so they are closer than the first too are.. Its all up to on how far apart you want your children but the closer in age they are the more likely they will be great friends growing up.

Erin - posted on 05/15/2010

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You know what, it is really up to you...I have 2 boys that are 19 months apart and I loved it, it was alot of work, but I had alot of fun with them, however, they are both teenagers now and it seems there is always some kind of conflict...Over friends, girls, or something...They are so close that they know alot of the same ppl and rarely have time away from one another...Then again, my daughters are 7 yrs apart and it has been wonderful!! Having the older kids and then having one later is just great! Lots of help with the little one and they all just adore her! So it really depends on you and how you manage your time...It does take something away from the other child when you bring another one in the house and they havent really had alot of time taking all your attention, I felt kind of guilty when the boys were small that there just didnt seem to be enough of me to go around...Good luck and god bless!

Heather - posted on 05/15/2010

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I have 3 children my oldest is 4 yrs then I have a 20 month old and I also have a 10 month old. I found out that I was pregnant with my son when my daughter was 7 weeks old. At first I was scared to death about being pregnant again with a new born but, as time went on I was so excited that my children would be growing up together. In the begining it was a little crazu but, I have to tell you I would not change a thing. My 20 month old daughter loves my son to death and she is wonderful with him. My 4 year old thinks that she is the mother sometimes. What ever you decide good luck and enjoy every minute of parenthood.

Marie - posted on 05/15/2010

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My two kids are 17 months apart. My daughter is 2 (27 months) and my son is 10 months old. I love it! My husband and I decided that we wanted our children close together, and that I would stay at home with them. We are trying to conceive #3 (and our last). We can financially manage as a one income family- even with the extra expenses like two kids in diapers. We don't have "everything," but we are comfortable, have everything we need, happy, and we have a lot of love in our house. I enjoy my kids close in age because even though my youngest is only 10 months old, his older sister loves playing with him. By the time we have #3 and are out of the "baby" stage, my kids will still be very young. I feel that since they will still be young, they won't notice if they had to "miss" anything since there was an infant. As the years go by, it will be easier to go on vacations and find stuff that entertains all of the kids, since they will be at similar stages. Yes, looking back, I feel that I had two babies, and for some people they want to be done with the baby age before they have another one. I like that they aren't going to remember life without one another. It can be very challenging having two "babies," because they are both demanding, but I wouldn't change it for the world.

Heather - posted on 05/15/2010

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Michelle,
Such a personal decision, but here is my story and why it is. My brother and I are 18mths apart. He was for the most part my best friend growing up. I decided that I wanted to have my kids about the same time apart. When my 1st was 8mths i wasn't ready yet. So we waited til she turned 1 and I was ready and she seemed ready. My oldest and my soon to be middle are 22mths apart and they are the worlds greatest together. DD made and makes the best big sister, she is currently trying to teach her brother his numbers and letters, she is 3 1/2 and he is 23 mths. I am prego with #3, really wanted #2 and #3 to be the same time apart but once again I wasn't ready, neither was #2. #2 and #3 will be 28mths apart and i think it's going to work out wonderfully. #1 is in preschool now and #2 will be heading there shortly after baby is born and all are very excited to have a new baby. Good Luck on ur decision and don't feel rushed or like u have to wait. Once again this is an extremely personal decision and u have to be ready to do it all again and ready for the challenges that come with having 2 instead of 1.

Tara - posted on 05/15/2010

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From what I know it is better to leave a gap of 30 months or so between children, this is better for your body as well as for your child's needs. If you look at it another way, in nature with natural breastfeeding not being interrupted or interfered with a woman or a female primate would not menstruate again until her baby was capable of eating and drinking all on it's on. It would also be natural to wait until the youngest is old enough to be emotional stable and secure before another child or offspring enters the family.
My children were on average 2 and a half years apart, it worked well. Never had two babes in diapers either. lol
A lot will depend on your lifestyle, whether or not you're breastfeeding and other personal factors.
Good Luck.
:)Tara

Michelle - posted on 05/15/2010

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Sara,
I figured that would be about the age Jayden would be. I have a brother but were 9 years apart and I just don't really want that with my kid(s). Jayden has a half/sister who is 9 years older than him and lives in Germany so they won't get to grow together:(

Michelle - posted on 05/15/2010

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I really wanted to have two children close together not to mention my soon to be husband is 37 so quite an age difference between us. Thanks for your imput given me something to think about!

Sara - posted on 05/15/2010

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Michelle,
My children are 15 months apart and I love it. They were both surprises but good surprises. They love eachother and hate to be separated it's like they are eachothers best friend.

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