Got a question he he

Catherine - posted on 03/31/2010 ( 6 moms have responded )

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Okay- when me and my husband talk and i tell him exactly how I feel he doesnt say anything and then when I ask how he feels or if he has any feedback he says "i dont know how i feel and i dont know what to say". it's kind of frustrating.

There is a lot going on with him and all but I just dont understand and he doesnt want to do marriage counseling to help him deal with his emotions.

Is there anything I can do to help him deal with his emotions or anything?

He always walks away so usually its a one sided conversation and I know men arnt conversational! And I dont often talk to him. We usually sit in a room watching tv and maybe we'll say something about what was seen on tv or read in a newspaper. But thats about it. I really can't get him to talk.

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Lynn - posted on 04/01/2010

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Could he be sick of talking about things that get him down? I know when my hubby starts shutting down, rather then trying to pry things out of him, I put little sticky notes in the truck and in his bathroom that just say i love you, or you have a cute butt, or something like that. Or I will ask him if we can have an at home date night the fallowing weekend, so we dont have to get a babysitter but we can still act young again. And then after I get him in a happy cheery mood, he gets more comforted and he starts bringing up things he has been thinking about or feeling. So that way he kinda feels like its on his own terms, when really i suckered it outta him.

Catherine - posted on 04/01/2010

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Shayna: to answer your question "Are you like always just talking about how he feels & whats wrong with him? Or other stuff in general? " No, We rarely talk at all. He use to be like your hubby! He has been through a lot in the past 3 years so I know he has a lot on his mind but that shouldnt excuse him from talking to me.

Fiona - posted on 04/01/2010

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I feel the same we used to lie in bed and talk all the time, now its just watching tv :( I dont no how to help you, guess just keep trying.

Shayna - posted on 04/01/2010

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I definitely wouldn't say men aren't conversational, because my hubby never shuts up lol. We have a very open relationship in the sense that we tell each other everything. I definitely know all men are not like that, I would find that rather frustrating and strange myself.



Are you like always just talking about how he feels & whats wrong with him? Or other stuff in general? It sounds like you may not have alot of chemistry or much to talk about? Quiet is nice also don't get me wrong, but all the time & he doesn't carry on a conversation? You need to tell him you're not happy and changes need to happen. If he refuses and does not change, you really should not live your life unhappily and there fore give him a ultimatum for counseling or your taking a break/leaving to think about things. Not saying you will leave him, but a break will certainly show him you are serious, and will make him think about things.

Grace - posted on 03/31/2010

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Sounds like a typical guy. Most of the time to get a sraight answer out of my husband I have to actually sit him down and tell him that we need to talk. My husband also refuses to go to a counselor for the most part. But at least I've figured out how to get him to talk.



I wasn't having a good day yesterday, depressed about trying to make new friends where we live now. And he wanted to know exactly what was wrong with me. I told him, and he agreed, he felt the same way and is also sick of putting himself out there and getting nothing in return from others. Dunno, that's just a short example of our last 'feelings' sharing moment.... lol.

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