Grandmother problems??

Victoriaelton182 - posted on 05/20/2017 ( 1 mom has responded )

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So I will try to keep this as short and sweet as I can and I apologize if it starts to drag, just a lot I'm frustrated and confused about. My son and I currently live with my boyfriends family (that is his father btw). His grandmother, so my sons great grandmother, seems to think that she can essentially take care of my son for me, doing things behind my back and/or without my permission. He is almost 13 months old and wants to be held 24/7 365 it seems because he is always being held by her. And I don't mean it in a "she wants to hold him for a little while just because" it's more of a he'll be playing and exploring the house, she'll walk over and scoop him up and hold him all day if she could. She'll walk around and complain about how her arm hurts but still continue to hold him. He doesn't even want to attempt to try to walk because he now wants to be held all the time because of her spoiling him. I used to say way back when he was younger to not hold him too much because I don't want him to be spoiled and she didn't care. She used to always feed him his little snacks when he was starting to eat finger foods, like the yogurt melts and little puffs. It got to the point where he wouldn't even be able to have a bottle, back when he was on formula, because she'd pump him full of snacks when I wasn't there, looking etc. it got to the point where I would keep them in my room and when I would leave she would go in my room and put the back in the kitchen. She's now had a new thing where she is always trying to get him to watch tv all day. The second I bring him out for breakfast she puts on cartoons and is always saying "look, look at the tv", she's always bring him in her room to watch tv. He's not even interested and she's pretty much forcing him to watch tv. He is supposed to be interacting and exploring, not propped in front of a tv all day. I used to go to therapy for PPD and PPA, but I had to stop because I just don't feel comfortable with him being there without me. I once went grocery shopping without my son because his father was home so he could watch him. Come to find out he put his finger in a box fan that was set in the floor and it cut his finger, nothing major, just a tiny nick but still. I was not told about it until way later that night when my boyfriend told me but he said she was watching him and so he didn't know until she told him later. So she kept it a secret from me. She will take him away to her room and his father can never spend time with him because he will just go outside and let her watch him but I don't like the fact that he can't even be a parental figure because she takes that away from him. When he starts to cry for whatever reason she will run over and cut me off from picking him up. There's been times where she literally took him out of my arms and I was stunned. She also calls him "mommy" for example, "is your food yummy mommy?" Like that isn't weird? He can point to dada, but when you ask for mama he is confused because she's been calling him mommy, but never dada, almost like its on purpose. This is just a short sample for the occurances. How can I address this situation without feelings being hurt and it turning into a huge ordeal. Am I wrong about all of this, is this behavior normal? I've tried to speak to his father about it and he says that she just wants to help but I don't feel like this is helping, it seems to be something else completely. She has had multiple kid, grandkids, great grandkids and this is my first and probably only child as my pregnancy was horrific as well as birth so I don't want another run of that haha. I feel like this time is being taken away because of these things. She wants to be his mother I feel. I break up his food for him, she'll come over and break it down smaller, even though I know my son and I know what he is and isn't capable of. Like everything I do isn't good enough. I've been keeping my mouth shut and maybe that's why she thinks she can control everything..... HELP.

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