Grandparents involvement

Emma - posted on 12/04/2013 ( 3 moms have responded )

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Long story cut short... I'm 24, have a wonderful fiance, our own home and we are financially secure. When I found out we were pregnant we were over the moon. I told my parents and they had a horrible reaction, they called me and my fiance to the house and lectured us screaming that we had to get married before the baby was born (etc etc, what would ppl think) we went against them and as we are already engaged decided to have our baby then get married. My beautiful boy is born now and we gave booked our wedding next year when he is 15 months.
Shortly after he was born my fiance snapped from their constant niggling and told them he wasn't happy how they spoke to us, THEY acted like the victim and he didn't speak for 2 months.. ( so they missed out on their grandchild) now we have made up they r constantly making digs that they haven't looked after him alone and they want him to stay over, saying he is their pride and joy!! Is it wrong for me not to b willing for my son to go over because of their actions in the past? Also- I don't think they are 100% trustworthy in listening to my rules, he's not weaned yet only breastfed and they always say he's hungry, I think trey would feed him behind my back without my consent) thanks in advance!! X

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Abigail - posted on 12/04/2013

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Oh ya, they sure can. You're right, they're not that old. But i guess they just choose to be traditional. To each it's own, right. Just don't pay attention to all the little things. I'm sure they just want to enjoy and spoil their grandson rotten.

Emma - posted on 12/04/2013

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Thanks Abigail, this put things into perspective. We eventually got an apology from them when they hadn't spoken to us in 2 months and they realised we weren't budging, so they were missing out on their grandson. They do seem to b very traditional, although they are both still so young to be grandparents late 40s early 50s, ud think they are more aware of modern ways! I'm trying to move on and be positive but so many little things really annoy me.. But I guess grandparents can do that :/ xx

Abigail - posted on 12/04/2013

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If you don't feel comfortable leaving the bb with them don't. Go visit and stay with him, watch how they interact and take care of him. If you see or hear something you don't agree with, voice your concern and make it clear how you feel. It's not rude, it's your child and you're the one that has to deal with him afterwards. They will feel upset at first but they have to respect your wishes.
It sounds like they're very old school (traditional) in the sense that you were suppose to get married first n so on. But if they're trying to have a relationship with you guys, I'd say let the pass go. Move on, let by gone be by gone. No point in holding a grudge or resentments. That only makes you an unhappy, bitter person. If you guys feel like you need an apology in order to move on, then talk to them and let them know how you feel about it.
My in laws are very old school n are the type of people that will NOT apologize for any wrong doing. They think they're always right. My husband n I went thru very hard times with our parents while dating n were treated very harshly/bad till my oldest son was almost 1. They didn't warm up to me till they saw our beautiful bb n were convinced that it was their grandson. I held so much resentment toward them for so many years that I just stayed away completely. They would always ask hubby where I was n he'd tell'em the truth. But as time went by I realize it wasn't worth it n that I was only making myself miserable. So I put it behind me n moved on. Still haven't heard an I'm sorry after 18 yrs of marriage.
You can't change how they are but you can voice your mind/feelings and hope they respect your wishes on how you want to raise your bb.
Good luck dear :)

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