Grandparents never ask to keep their grandkids.

Anna - posted on 02/03/2016 ( 5 moms have responded )

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Yes, I am a stay at home mom and my day is centered entirely around my two boys. Some times I just need a break for a couple hours. I am not asking for a full day or a overnight. JUST A COUPLE HOURS. My sister in law still lives at home with her little girl (my niece)and is expecting another in a few weeks. My sister in law works but has never paid for child care due to always having someone to be there for her to keep my niece. I have even kept her. I would work if I could afford reasonable or had FREE daycare. I asked if my husbands grandmother could keep the boys so I could get my teeth cleaned and I got knocked down real quick saying she didn't need to keep them. I am almost 99% percent positive my sister inlaw will have her kids kept by her when the time comes for her to go back to work. I don't ask for much and I feel like my sister in law is handed everything while we sit and struggle everyday to stay a float. She constantly complains to me about her mom making her clean the house, etc. She has never paid a bill in her life. I get irritated when my in laws never ask for months on end to keep my boys for a couple of hours and I am not the person to beg anyone to keep my kids. My husband pushes it aside like I shouldn't worry about it. I don't wanna feel this way!! Anyone have advice on how to deal with this.

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Michelle - posted on 02/03/2016

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How about you look at it another way.
Your SIL is still a child and isn't getting any life skills by not having to be an adult, even if she is still living at home. When the time comes for her to move out she's probably going to struggle even more.
In regards to the Grandparents not looking after your children, my Mother rarely had my children. Even when I was a single Mother, she didn't offer to look after them to give me a break. The good thing is, the children do grow up and become more independent. They will soon have a better social life than you!!!!!
Maybe find a Mother's group in your area and once you are all comfortable with each other you can take turns babysitting for each other. You don't have to rely on family.
My suggestion is to stop dwelling on what your SIL does/have and concentrate on your own family and what you can do to help you.

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Michelle - posted on 02/03/2016

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I know how you feel. I was a single Mother of 2 and had no help. I had to work full time and pay for daycare, it was hard but I now have a wonderful husband and our own house. I still work full time and have my 3rd in after school care but I have done well enough that I am opening my own business in a couple of weeks.
We do get through these things and it makes us stronger.

Anna - posted on 02/03/2016

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Got called for a job last week just waiting to hear details. No way we could afford paying daycare so I'm going 2nd shift.. I'm tired of being in a RUT trust me. Hopefully after I start I won't have to hear the endless BS. I feel like a terrible mom but I know it's the best for me.

Michelle - posted on 02/03/2016

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What I was getting at is just focus on your family and what you can do, not what others do.
Tell your SIL straight out you don't want to hear her talking about things.
Only you can change your situation and feeling towards the situation. All you did was make excuses why you can't.
Maybe you should look at getting a job and putting the children in daycare. Even if you find a job that works around your husband's hours, that way you can have some you time and your husband can spend some time with the children.
There are always ways around the situations you find yourself in, it's just a matter of actually finding a solution instead of sitting in a rut and "blaming" others. It's YOUR life and YOU get to make the choices in it.

Anna - posted on 02/03/2016

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I could not focus on what my SIL says if she wasn't always pushing it on me. My son and my niece go to a mother's day out type class 3 days a week and my SIL feels the need to always ride with me in which I hear all the BS. The last time my kids were kept by my inlaws my SIL just couldn't understand why we needed to go out alone. That's only because she had made plans to go out too. Maybe I dwell on things too much, but my 4 year old told my mother in law that she never keeps them only his cousin. Most mom's in my area that I feel comfortable with have older kids and work. Some people just don't know how fortunate they are to have family support.

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