guilty

Jennifer - posted on 03/05/2009 ( 15 moms have responded )

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Does anyone else out there feel actually guilty..that they are able to comfortably stay home full time to raise there children? There are so many people out there who have to work not because they choose to, but because they simply make too much money to give it all up..so they pay daycare or a person to watch their children almost full time. I guess i'm extrememly lucky and blessed.

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Theresa - posted on 03/07/2009

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I don't feel guilty so much as extremely lucky and blessed. I know that we are not "getting ahead" in saving anything right now but, I can't imagine someone else taking care of my kids fulltime. I wouldn't want that, not right now. They go to their Gramma's one day per week so I can work that one day but, once my kids start preschool and/or kindergarten, I will definitely need to go back to work (not fulltime). I'm willing to make personal sacrifices (financially) right now so I can spend more time with my boys. They are my life (and my husband would go crazy if he was the one staying home all day with them...ha ha)!

Tara - posted on 03/06/2009

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I have never felt guilty for staying at home. When I got pregnant with my daughter, my husband and I decided that rather than have the extra costs of daycare and commuting, as well as having someone else basically raising our child, and paying most of the second paycheque into daycare costs, it was easier for me to stay home. I'm currently taking a course to become a medical transcriptionist because I can contract from home doing that, so I'll be able to bring in a bit extra without the daycare/commute costs. We're expecting our second child in September, and yes, things are a bit tight, but I wouldn't give it up for anything, and I'm lucky that my husband feels the same :D

Heather - posted on 03/06/2009

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No, I was one of those people that was making money but knew what was best for my child and chose to stay home. Now it's not easy with less income and we have pinch every penny but it more than worth it! I will continue to because it's what is right for me and my family.

Anaheeta - posted on 03/06/2009

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I have never felt guilty for staying home and taking care of my girls. We were a two income family before our first daughter was born and doing remarkably well I might add. I had every intention of going back to work after a short maternity leave but couldn't bring myself to leave my daughter in a daycare. Although we miss the second paycheck tremendously....I don't regret it for a minute staying at home. Some days are more trying than others but thats to be expected with two very energetic girls but I wouldn't give it up for anything in the world!

[deleted account]

I would feel guilty if I wasn't home raising my son.  I look at it like this...not every Mom WANTS to be a SAHM.  So going back to work works for a lot of women and that's good for them.  Personally, I couldn't imagine my life any other way.  Is money tight?  Yes.  Would it be nice to have my income back again?  Certainly.  But would I have seen my son take his first steps or say his first word?  Probably not.  That's just my take on it.  I don't feel guilty at all for staying home.  It's a "sacrifice" we are more than happy to make.



On the other hand, like others have said, I feel bad for the moms who want to stay home but can't.  I can't imagine how hard that must be.  I also feel bad sometimes when my boyfriend comes home from work and I'm still in my pj's lol.  BUT...it's rare that I don't get a lot accomplished during the day...pj's and all lol! 



Jennifer Hafner....that is a BEAUTIFUL picture of your son!  And Millie Gagliano....you left Florida for Minnesota??? LOL  I'm a rare breed...Florida Native...and I couldn't imagine moving to the snow on purpose lol 

Theresa - posted on 03/06/2009

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I felt guilty the first few months - I guess because I had worked my entire adult life up til having kids in my 30s. But now I realize that I do contribute by taking care of the kids and the house, otherwise we'd be spending the money on daycare and someone else would be raising them. Now I feel truly blessed to be able to stay at home. They do drive me crazy at times (tonight being one of those), but I wouldn't change it for anything.

Sarah - posted on 03/06/2009

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I think I take advangtage of being able to stay home. I can sometimes complain about having to do house work and chassing after kids but then when my husband and I talk about me going to work it scares me. I don't think I could ever go back to work. I really do love staying home and am glad I can do it.

Julie - posted on 03/06/2009

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I must say that I have never felt guilty about staying at home just very blessed. I have been a stay at home mom since the day my oldest was born. Now six years later and with 4 kids in total I would not have it any other way. My husband works his tail off to support our family. We cut corners everywhere possible and don't always have the newest nicest things, but that is the sacrifice we are willing to make so that our kids are raised by their parents. My husband was as he says "raised in daycare" and he was determined to do whatever it took for me to stay at home. There has been times where he has worked three jobs just to make ends meet. So try not to feel guilty, just blessed that you have the opportunity to stay at home and for having a husband who supports you in doing so!

[deleted account]

Hi! I use to feel very guilty, ( been a stay at home mom for 4 years, with three kids now) I referred to our house as my hubby's house and the money as his money, had a real hard time at first as I use to work all the time. I use to drive my hubby batty as he had to sy, no our money, etc. It took a year for him to convince me that I am a huge benefit to this family even though I don't bring in an income. So I totally understand where you are coming from. But us stay at home moms are doing a great service to our families and children, so brush those guilty feeling away and enjoy your time with yor children as they grow up way faster than we would like them too! Have a great day!

Aimee - posted on 03/06/2009

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I have never felt guilty about being able to stay home with my children, I relish it each day! I was a teacher and when our son was 9 we found out we were pregnant. Instead of my paycheck going to daycare, so I could continue to teach, my husband and I both decided that I should stay home. I was able to stay home when my son was born and being able to do the same for my daughter was so rewarding. The fact that my husband has a job that allows us to do this for our children makes us feel very blessed. I value my husband and his effort everyday and he does me. My heart does go out to those families who cannot stay home with their children, yet want to so badly. As I have said before, we are very blessed and remind ourselves of that everyday. As women I think we tend to believe we should feel less worthy of those things that we have that others do not have or cannot have. Just remember to give thanks everyday for those things you have and to help others in anyway you can. It's karma ladies! :0)

Mikayl - posted on 03/06/2009

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You know sometimes I do feel bad for the parents that HAVE to work to make ends meet.  My Husband is in the U.S. Air Force, we dont get paid as much as we would like.  We are still on WIC and Food Stamps just to make ends meet.  But I will NOT pay some other person to raise my child!!!  I love staying at home with my son.  I think as soon as Our second child (I'm 6 weeks pregnant now)  is in pre school I will maybe get a part time job!!  But I just cant imagine another person raising my childeren!!

Mikayl - posted on 03/06/2009

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You know sometimes I do feel bad for the parents that HAVE to work to make ends meet.  My Husband is in the U.S. Air Force, we dont get paid as much as we would like.  We are still on WIC and Food Stamps just to make ends meet.  But I will NOT pay some other person to raise my child!!!  I love staying at home with my son.  I think as soon as Our second child (I'm 6 weeks pregnant now)  is in pre school I will maybe get a part time job!!  But I just cant imagine another person raising my childeren!!

Millie - posted on 03/06/2009

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We moved away from Florida to Minnesota because my husband got a job promotion. We decided that without any family support in the area I would stay at home and take care of our daughter. She was just 11 months old at the time. We also have a 10 year old son. It is a blessing staying at home. I start to feel guily we when have any car problems. My husband is very good at budgeting our money and we have everything we need. I take parenting classes with my daughter to keep some of my sanity. LOL!

[deleted account]

I often feel sorry for moms who would like to stay home, but have to work for economic reasons. But I have to admit I never feel guilty about it. And yes, we are very fortunate to be able to stay home and have our children with us all the time (even though it drives me crazy some days!).

Jennifer - posted on 03/05/2009

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sometimes I feel guilty when my husband comes home from work and I am still in my pajamas. I just don't think about changing when i am chasing after my 1 year old who now walks / runs. We are very lucky indeed... Our children reep the ultimate benefit of us being home. I loved to work,I was an veterinary technician, but the bond I have developed with my son is amazing...

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