Has anyone heard of the term spirited babies or high needs babies?

Ashley - posted on 06/04/2012 ( 11 moms have responded )

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I have a 21 month boy along with 2 other children. He is very intense and dramatic.every emotion he has is intensified by 10. His facial expressions are dramatic along with his gestures. His tempure tantrums r huge and if they go too far uncontrollable. He's very energetic. He has still never slept through the night. He wants held constantly. He has a very magnetic personality. In public therebis always a croud around him. As my other children got attention in public it is not like him. He demands it. If he can't get the attention of a stranger by a funny face or sound or his big smile he will make loud noises and even throw things at them. The things that drive me nits about him r also the things I love however he is exhausting. He wants what he wants and is very driven. Cannot keep him at a Tabel to eat. Very loud and dramatic. I read a little about "spirited babies". But I don't know much about it. Does anyone know if this? And is anyone elses child like mine? As I've said I have 2 other children and lots of nieces and nephews and have never been challenged like I am with him.

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Erin - posted on 06/08/2012

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Also I strongly warn against any tests for ADD or ADHD at a young age there is little to no merrit or evidence this disorder even exists let alone can be determined at young ages, to be frank I think it's very rare and seems to be the excuse all for kids that are just different. I have seen child after child diagnosed with this disorder who are actually just normal kids that are differnt also I've seen many lazy parents who refuse to discipline getting kids this diagnosis so I put very very little faith in this. It used to be all the kids had Hyperactivity, then it was Attention deficiet, now it's a combo of both or they all have autism. I'm sorry I just don't buy this.

Erin - posted on 06/08/2012

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Sound like my son (age 3). I think every child has a different personality, so I wouldn't worry about if he is special or if something is wrong with him, just keep contastant redirection going with him. You have to tell him what is and is not ok. It's not abuse to send a child to bed without supper if they refuse to follow the rules. If he doesn't eat at the table like you want don't let him eat at all. He will sit and eat his food. Also I wouldn't give him snacks if doesn't eat his meal. In public he should learn there are boundaries, he should not be disturbing other people, and definatley not throwing things at them. He sounds like a ham lol, but he has to learn when it'snot appropriate.

Beth - posted on 06/06/2012

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The ability to focus on a project can translate to the Hyper-focus that those of us with ADHD have.
For example. I can sit down with a book and start reading and the world disappears. Someone can be standing a foot away from me talking while I'm reading and I might respond but you ask me 10 mins later what they said I have no idea. I can sit there for hours reading that one book and have no idea that literally 5-8 hrs have gone by.

Same thing happens to my daughter. Put her to bed at 730 with a book , and unless we go and turn her light out she will still be reading when we go to bed at 1130. This happens because we have no concept of time.

The thing major thing that ADHD kids have trouble with is self control.

Before dismissing ADHD/ ADD , ODD , etc , have a child tested to ensure that the child gets the help that they need for the right thing.

My daughter was 3 before she slept through the night. She was also high needs , needed to be held , carried , had colic , difficult pregnancy. She goes from one end of the emotional spectrum to the other. All her emotions are strong , there's no lukewarm, ever. She did everything early. Crawled, Walked , Talked .She's what's called twice exceptional. ADHD and Gifted.

Hillary - posted on 06/06/2012

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I am going to quote Mary Sheedy Kurcinka in her book Raising your Spirited Child! "It can be frightening to have a child who is so strong and determined, and you may wonder if something else is going on. That's why I am often asked the question, How do you know if your child is spirited or has a medical issue, such as attention deficit with or without hyperactivity, sensory integration dysfunction, oppositional defiant disorder, pervasive developmental disorver, or other conditions? What i have learned in over the nearly three decades I have been working with spirited children and their families is that spirited behaviour truly falls within the range of typical human behavious-more but normal. By understanding spirit and using the information you will find in this book, you can teach your child the skills he needs to manage and use his spirit well. As a result, he will be able to focus on the task at hand and be successful at school. - So if you are teaching your child the skills to manage his spirit and giving him opportunites to practice them, yet he continues to struggle focusing in school, entering a group of peers, or is losing it every time you make a simple request-trust your intuition. That leaden sense in your gut is telling you that the frequency, intensity or duration of his behaviour is different from that of other children you know-even the spirited ones."

To me, in short, if a child is adhd, then even with help and tools, focus will still be an issue. I know many adhd adults who are determined to do a project, but part way through lose their focus or get distracted and it never gets finished. Whereas a spirited child, can and will focus, if given the tools to succeed. They are the ones who are so determined to complete something, that while everyone else has given up, they are still sitting there hours later trying to finish. This is not to say adhd children can not be successful, they can be very successful, they just need a different set of tools to finish what they have started. And yes, you are right, it is very contraversial and the views are many and vast. I have been trying to understand my children better and in my research have found so many differing views on both adhd and spirited, that sometimes I am hopelessly lost! Fortunately I am also spirited so I will not be quitting anytime soon, no matter how hopeless it may seem, lol! But spirited is more, more intense, more persistant, more senstitive, more perceptive, more energetic and so on. So they are just like everyone else, but more. adhd is an attention disorder that affects the ability to stay on task. I am not sure if I have answered your question at all, or if this has been helpful, but I hope it has. If you have any more questions, or anything, toss a message my way and I will gladly try to help! My spirited children are 7.5 and two months shy of 4, so although not an expert, I have been there done that!

Ashley - posted on 06/06/2012

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I've read conflicting articles on ADHD and spirited children where some ppl thing that all spirited children are ADHD. My son is only 21 months so it's too early to diagnosse, so I don't have any real experience with ADHD. I realize this can b somewhat contraversal and debatable, but what are some of your views on the difference between the two?

Hillary - posted on 06/06/2012

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Definitely read the book. Spirited children is a real thing. Two of my four are spirited. The book is awesome. My oldest was also diagnosed with adhd and sensory processing disorder which intensifies his spirited nature. After reading the book I also realized I was what is described as a spirited child and it has a lot of wonderful ideas and tips ti help your child, with a chapter as well describing how your nature will affect how to most effectively help your child. Spirited kids are wonderful amazing unique little creatures and I treasure that I was blessed to have two. Even though they are quite a bit more difficult than my two laid back children.

Beth - posted on 06/06/2012

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Check out the book " Raising your spirited child" .
I had a spirited baby, and she was diagnoised with ADHD at the age of 7.
Your son sounds like my daughter.

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There's a book called Raising Your Spirited Child by Mary Sheedy-Kurcinka that has a lot of positive ideas. My first is just like this. My second baby is so laid back. They are complete opposites. It is very exhausting, but like you, I love everything about my spirited baby (and my laid back baby :)).

Ashley - posted on 06/04/2012

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My son is also very generous and empathetic. And especially cuddly and loving. I have never yet left him with other ppl with the exception of grandparents so I am not sure how he would act. I am starting to learn that instead of expecting throngs from him like sleeping thru the night and self comforting and control with tantrums that I need to roll with it and it's easier to change my expectations rather than him. I don't know if I would want to change him anyways.

Jennifer - posted on 06/04/2012

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You just described my third child, except for the needing attention in public bit. He is a bit shy of strangers. He is 4, and the most dificult child I have. He is also the most cuddly. I have learned to follow his cues a lot more. Like when trying to get him to accept a new situation. We go to church, and he has his own bible class. Most kids the first time they go, scream just long enough for the parents to walk out the door, and then they stop. With him it is completely different. He won't stop crying. I have found that if I take him to class and stay, and let him know I will give him all the time he needs to adjust, he accepts it a lot faster. He also carries the world on his shoulders. He can't stand to see someone even fake cry. He will do everything in his power to comfort them. He is also the most generous child I have ever known. If someone gives him something, his second response after thank you, is can I have one for my brother and sisters?

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