Has anyone lost their first/any child to SIDS or still birth?

Olga - posted on 11/05/2009 ( 11 moms have responded )

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My first and so far only son had passed away from SIDS on October 7th, 2009...I was just looking to talk to women who had been through this or going through this. Maybe we can help each other. Also its encuraging to know that women who been through it had other kids afterwards.

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Sharon - posted on 11/11/2009

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Olga,
I also know the agony of SIDS. My 1st son died of SIDS Oct 15th ,1986. 23 yrs later I am the mother of a 20 yr old son, 17 yr old son and a surprise bonus son 4 yrs old. The journey is painful but it can be done. There is not a day that goes by that I do not think of my first son (and for me it is warm precious love) Just because he is not here does not mean my love for him stopped.
I agree with Christina's reply. I also found great help from a support group.

Christina - posted on 11/09/2009

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Im sorry to hear about your loss. My first son died of SIDS at 8 weeks old. He would od been 12 this year. I've had 4 kids since then. It is hard because you worry and probably check on them 20 times a night. But it does help to have more children to fill your empty arms. I talk to my kids all the time about their brother and they know he is in heaven watching over us and one day will all be togetther again. I would also try and find a support group in your area that helped me alot.

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Janie - posted on 08/09/2012

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Danielle Riley,
Your comment although well intended to me is offensive. Over the 18yrs I have found the "I've had a Miscarriage so empathise..."(esp when 1 in 4 preg or more end in miscarriage so we possibly all have) thing frustrating, hurtful and ignorant. We mothers of SIDS loved our healthy perfect Angels and nursed them and looked deeply into their eyes and yet they slipped away between breath and breath from a peace filled life by a perfect death to dwell in Your perfect peace forever more. I get your intention but feel you did not think of the insult of comparing the two in grief... I've experienced several miscarriages. My daughter was, is and will always be with me and I cherished every second of those 2months. It has taught me to enjoy every moment with my subsequent children. No offence intended...

Janie - posted on 08/09/2012

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I lost my firstborn Jessamy at 7weeks and 5days 18yrs ago this week....
I have three perfect and beautiful other children an almost ten yr old boy, a 3yr old girl and a 1yr old girl- both girls born days off their sister's 15th and 17th birthdays. Children help in a way however the first "baby" stage is frought with anxiety despite immense joy. My children are my most beloved ones and my life yet still I grieve. It doesn't go away.
How old were you? Did your relationship survive? How are you holding up?
Your post has helped me share how my pain is really as intense now at times as the time after she passed. I was 20 and a single mother so lost myself easily... I admire your courage, avoidance doesn't help pain long term...
Blessings..

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Hi Olga. I have also lost a baby. My first pregnancy was twins. They were born 14 weeks premature and my son died at 2 days old. My daughter survived and is now 2 years old and practically every day I think about what my son, her twin, would be like. Who would he look like, how different would he be to his sister. I had another baby 13 months after my twins were born as I had a really need to fill that gap. Nothing will ever replace my son, but having my second daughter definitely helped to heal me somewhat. I still long for my son everyday. And I know nothing will ever change that. Only time makes it a little less raw. Just hang in there and know you are not alone.

Shela - posted on 11/06/2009

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I am so very sorry for your loss. I haven't lost a baby that was born, but I have miscarried once. That pain hurts so bad, but if you rely on God he can get you through anything, he is what got me through my miscarriage. You just need to trust in him and lean on him. God does everything for a reason, and we won't know that reason until we get to Heaven. Just have faith that God will give you another child. I just had my second child, this one after my miscarriage. God Bless you!

Star - posted on 11/05/2009

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My family has lost a baby to SIDs every generation for the past 3 or 4. The last was my 2nd cousin Taylor at 6mo. I was in grade school when he passed. My cousin Gina(whom I share a birthday with & am very close) has since had a daughter & then another son. Taylor would be 11 I believe. My 6 1/2 mo. old son looks similar to Taylor at that age & I will say there are days that it crosses my mind.

I also have had 2 miscarriages; one when I was 15yrs old & was 3 1/2mo along, then again when I was 18yrs old (w/my who is now my husband) & was about 2mo. along. During this pregnancy, which was 5yrs after the last, I for some reason couldn't let myself get over excited. I was, don't get me wrong, but we didn't go out & buy things until we closed in on the 3rd trimester. I couldn't image losing a child during or after birth, but I have been around it a lot in my life. Be strong. My cousin says, " you are always going through it...it's a life you can never get back, but the pain lessens with time." She honestly never thought of having kids, and their second child wasn't born for almost another 5yrs later. Even 10+yrs later, she still travels over 4hr each year to our states SIDs walk, goes to a SIDs/child loss group, has his pictures up on the walls w/the others, we still talk of him because no matter how short a life it was...it was a life & a very precious one. You'll know if/when you're ready to have another one & don't be afraid to love again. You & your family are in my prayers.

NATASHA - posted on 11/05/2009

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i havent lost a baby through SIDS but i have one termination at 20weeks on may 26 2004 due to gastroschesis and diaphragmatic hernia and i have also miscarried 6 times. i have 2 boys one is 4 and he was 9 wks premmie and my other is 8mth old and he was 8 weeks premmie they are both boys. the reson for the miscarriages is cos of my uterus, its a bicornate uterus, you can google that if you like to know more

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yes, my first, also a boy, died at birth. he would have been 14 this coming February. i am so sorry for your loss. i know how your heart aches. it does heal with time, maybe with a scar but still a little better. i am comforted by the hope of the resurrection spoken of in matthew. ('all those in the memorial tombs will hear his voice and come out') how wonderful it will be when we can hug our little ones again!

Danielle - posted on 11/05/2009

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Olga...First I am very sorry for your loss. I understand the pain you are going through. I just lost a child in May and even though I was only 7 weeks along, it is still very hard at times to know that the child God blessed me with is now gone. It has been bothering more lately because I would of been due in 6 weeks. I could not imagine going to term and dealing with the emotions that I have. I just keep telling my self that there was a reason for God to bless me and a reason for God to take that precious life so soon. Hang in there. It will get better with time. I hope this helps a little.



Danielle

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