Have no time for myself what to do to feel pretty and gromed again?


Lydia - posted on 02/23/2012




I don't know if I got you right, but somewhere you wrote any extra money goes for the kids... I think there is something wrong with this thinking. You give them so much, your time, your love, your care, a home, food, clothing.

So if there is any extra money after basic needs of the family are full filled I think you deserve to have at least part of the extra money to spend just on yourself. Of course there is always something cute or fun to buy for the kids, but you deserve it as much as they do.

Nayuribe - posted on 01/17/2012




who has the money for a freaking salon or spa?!! hell, i feel like i'm doomed to be ugly for the rest of my life, i used to be a swimmer, had a great body, that body IS GONE!! i used to turn heads when i walked into a room, now i'm embarrassed all the time, and hate when my old buddies from the swim team decide to get together, i mean i love them to death, they are REAL friends who have not disappeared as my kids where born (like so many other "friends") but they all notice how i've let myself go and show photos of what we all looked like back then, AWFUL!

i understand completely how you feel!!! i feel the same, but have no solution... :(


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Sal - posted on 02/24/2012




i have my maintiance nights when hubby is on night shift for waxing, nail painting hair dying plucking foot spas and facials, our budget is pretty lean at the moment too and there is no way i could afford to go to the spa ......inbetween i keep an emery board and handcream in the car and give them a quick shaping and slap on hand cream when waiting at school or work pick up, even stuck in traffic

i have also got my makeup routine down to 3 basics so i keep it simple tinted moisturizer, black mascara and gloss or lippy, basically takes me 1 minute...cant mess it up, and i can do it in the car before i get out, or when i brush my teeth....my hair is just long i wash brush and leave it, or have a alice band or pony tail....and i pretty much have a uniform, a keep 2 pairs of goodish jeans and a denim skirts always ready to wear and i have half a dozen neat newish tops,always a white a black a stripped one and some others at random colors and styles and a light weight black cardigan, i dont have to think about what to wear every thing is clean and matches so i can almost dress in my sleep and still look ok , i just replace a top or jeans when they start to look old (and i usually op shop so not expensive) when i go out i grab a pretty scarf and a pair of ballet shoes (i have 3 pairs in the go, red, leopard and silver sequin) i buy them on special always for less than $20 a pair, the red ones were new from the op shop, and im gone i keep a pair or two of earings in my bag and i look pretty put together......

you just need to find what tricks work for you and remember it is ok to spend a few dollars on makeup or clothes, you work hard and you need to feel good about yourself...

Jenna - posted on 02/23/2012




I have found that just getting up 30 minutes earlier than I really want to and showering, getting dressed in decent clothes (not sweats, just jeans and a nicer fitted tee or sweater instead of a T-shirt) and doing my hair and makeup goes a long way to making me feel pretty and better about how I look.

We also have a really tight budget and the growing kids who need new shoes are a much higher priority than buying a new pair of shoes for myself just to make me feel pretty. BUT, I am very careful with the budget and have been able to give myself little shopping sprees for about $100 which can go a long way if you know how to shop (great sales, like at Kohl's, or discount stores like Ross and Marshalls), just to buy a few new pieces to add to the wardrobe to spruce it up. I don't like doing my nails because they are ruined within a day from my cleaning and cooking, but I like an occasional pedicure in the summer to make my toes look cute.

And as for exercise and staying in shape, I do that by playing Wii Just Dance with my kids. I also have a great group of women friends who are SAHM's too. We have a zumba instructor in our little group, so we get together once a week at a nearby church and do zumba in the evenings (it's at 9 pm, which is late for me, but worth the late night once a week to get some exercise and some girl time).

And on days when I dont' do all my makeup or my hair, I still shower and blow dry my hair and then wear it in a ponytail or bun all day or braid it. I put on just the most basic makeup so my skin tone looks even so that when I pass a mirror I don't want to puke. I just use a little foundation and a little blush and it really makes a big difference with how I look.

Audra - posted on 02/23/2012




The spa has its substitutes, but DO tie the kids up with Dad/a sitter for an afternoon/evening so that you don't find yourself with one leg shaven :). Your kids will ALWAYS need something, including everything YOU have to give. You're in danger of being so selfless that you're approaching burnout. You can't feel guilty for doing what it takes to relax and let off some steam. Taking care of yourself will in turn allow you to give more to your children. You will ALWAYS be able to spend time and money on your children. You must set some of your resources aside, learn to say "NO," and practice asking your husband and others for what you want and need.

Things I've done and do on a budget:

...if the kids are up early, I tell my husband he's on duty long enough for me to take a shower.

...I felt frumpy always pulling my long hair into a ponytail, so I got a free haircut from a local salon by donating my hair to Locks of Love and it takes less time to style my hair.

...a razor, body scrub, and lotion can go a LONG way.

...I buy travel-sized (usually under $2), nice-smelling shower gels, face masks, etc.

...I take photos of outfits I like and attempt to re-create them.

...set aside a little here and there to do ONE thing that will go a long way for you. Eyelash extensions can be the difference between feeling 'yuck' and 'I could leave the house right now.' The right haircut can also be a game-changer.

...before your husband leaves for work, put your headphones on, listen to some great music, and walk around the block. Then come home for that shower and you'll have burnt a few calories, gotten that blood pumping, listened to some esteem-boosting music, and prepped yourself for what lies ahead.


Hannah - posted on 02/23/2012




money is really tight for us right now, so when our anniversary rolled around, I asked my hubby if I could have a beauty day in lieu of a gift! I got my hair cut and my brow and lip waxed. I feel like a new woman!

Lindsey - posted on 02/23/2012




I have that same feeling. We live on a tiny post in the middle of nowhere in Germany so getting dressed up to go too the Commisarry is dumb. I want to put on something nice and go somewhere worth showing it. But, look at those kids and realize, they think I am GORGEOUS no matter what I look like. That helps me out, and my husband gets it too, he tells me nice things also. You are beautiful no matter what, remember that, from one mom to another ♥ Much love.

Loris - posted on 02/23/2012




When my kids nap I blow dry my hair if I feel like it, or do my nails, put some make up on, just some eye liner and mascara and some lip stick and you will feel different....

User - posted on 02/23/2012




i've felt the same for a long time and im in the middle of trying to change it, (on a zero budget!) first step for me was to go to the library, there are loads of books about giving yourself home makeover's, how to feel good in your own skin, how to dress for your shape, how to look good on a budget etc. check out pic's of celebrity's not anything you cant aspire to (we dont all look like megan fox) but take little bits that you like (from all era's, doesn't have to just be whats on trend right now) and incorporate it into your own style, if you like someone's haircut, eye makeup, shoe's etc. if you can collect pictures and make yourself a style guide book. then you know what you like and what to keep an eye out for (doesn't have to be new or expensive if you know what your looking for you can buy in charity shops/ebay for very cheap a bit at a time), choose a exercise that suit's you (mine is yoga) and get information about it (library again or internet) and either make your own mini workout (aim for around 15/20 mins. ideal for nap time) or hunt around for a workout dvd that looks like your type of thing (need not cost a fortune, there are normally at least a couple in second hand/charity shops as people have bought and given up) dont aim to do everyday as this will more than likely not happen, but aim to do it if you dont go out that day i think works better, and finally give yourself a good scrub in the shower everyday (morning or night is your preference, night once i have got little one off to sleep is easier for me) its amazing how much better you will feel after just 5 mins. im still in the middle of doing this and have added extra's for example, i put a facepack on (a tube is not at all expensive, i think it was about £1 from superdrug, i notice alot of people on here are american but there will be the same sort of thing there) and i have started to make sure my nails are painted. didnt used to do this saying i didnt have time but once i started this i realised it really did make me feel better and did them while sitting in bed (with quick dry nail spray, about 90p from boyes) anything that you can think of tht is not time consuming you can add and have your own little pamper session regulary. it can be done easily and cheaply if you set your mind to feeling good about yourself. you will feel better and your family will as well, they will like the happier you. i hope i have helped xx

Marci - posted on 01/17/2012




I'm WITH YOU Nayuribe! I FEEL EXACTLY THE SAME! I used to go out ALL THE TIME, I looked good (I can say that because I DID!) Now, ALL I DO IS stay home 24/7 and no matter what I do to try to make myself up, it doesn't do any good. I rarely talk to other females at all anymore. Though I love my son with all my heart and soul and would NOT trade him for anything, I still wish I had at least SOME parts of my past self still alive. Very depressing. Having no money AT ALL to go and do things makes it 100 x's worse! What to do though, ya know?

Sarahann - posted on 01/17/2012




i would love to go to the spa it would be great but i have three kids.any extra money goes for them and my sons schooling. i have no time for myself and if i do i feel so tired i dont feel like doing my hair or anything. my husband says i am beautiful no matter what but it does no good if i dont feel it for myself. i always feel guilty for spending money on myself when ter is always something my kids could use. i want to feel young and sexy again and not just a frumpy mom with three kids. i feel like i have let myself go because whenever my son sees me do my hair and makeup he asked where are we going mommy?and i might be just doing it because i just have the time to. i just feel so bad about my self and the way i aper now.how can u have the timeto look good and have three young kids?

Chloe - posted on 01/17/2012




Awe, mama, I know exactly how you feel! Like other busy moms, I’m sure you spend all your time worrying about others, but not yourself. This is so typical.

Over time, I’ve found that if I don’t set aside at least one afternoon for myself, I go bonkers! So, with that being said, hire a babysitter & schedule a spa day or set an appointment to get your hair & nails done! You deserve to be pampered too!

[deleted account]

aww, youre very pretty. but i do know what you mean. i looked in the mirror today as i got dolled up to go to walmart for groceries. i wanted to be the pretty, stylish premom I once was. but now its yoga pants and hoodies, my hair is growing because i cant decide to cut it to a bob again or grow it out long so its shoulder length in that BLAH stage. so i hear ya. maybe while the kids nap, you can give yourself a facial or pedi. Im a hairstylist, so being in this unpretty stage is killing me. ive started exercising more that feels good and is an accomplishment, and have enrolled in some college classes to start this week so im looking forward to that and meeting new ppl. but i cant afford the highlights and acrylic nails and pedis i did before because i chose to be a stay at home mom. maybe if you did a mothers day out program like i do at a nearby church you can get out once or twice a week to do pedis and go to the salon for a color or highlight. good luck and hang in there.

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