Have you ever made the decision to hold your child back in school?

Beth - posted on 10/13/2009 ( 8 moms have responded )




My son is in the first grade this year. I live in Indiana and to start kindergarten here, the child must be 5 years old by August 1st. I went to his first parent/teacher conference today. The teacher said she just wanted to let me know that I might want to think about holding him back in first grade again. I was devastated! I want to do the very best for him, obviously. She said that she sees great potential in him, but he is just not where the other kids are right now. It's very obvious that he has improved just since September. The next conference is in April and that is when it will be decided. She said he could improve greatly and not even have to talk about it again. She just didn't want this to be a surprise if that was something that needed to be done. He turned 6 on July 4th. She said she had no idea he was that young! What is that supposed to mean? Why do they have that rule then? You know? I'm just frustrated that this has happened. He is the first child I have to start school. Even worse, she kept talking and I just started bawling! Has anyone had to do this? I would love for you all to share your experiences and how you feel about it. It would be so appreciated. I really need somebody to understand how I feel about this.


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Rachel - posted on 10/19/2009




Both my brothers were held back, and my mom doesn't regret it it helped both of them. They are the oldest in their classes but that was ok.

Alison - posted on 10/19/2009




I can see how you might be upset at the teachers suggestion, but just remember that holding him back now might give him a better chance of success in the future. Once a child falls behind it becomes harder and harder for them to catch up, and you don't want your son tho be one of those kids who slips through the cracks. I've done alot of reading up on the education of young children (trying to decide weather to home school or not) and most of the literature I have read says that most boys aren't even ready for a social environment like school until they are at least 8 years old. I would encourage you to read up on the topic and then follow your gut! Whatever you choose to do will be the right choice. Good luck, and I'll keep you in my prayers!

[deleted account]

My brother had to repeat 1st grade, my husband has a friend who repeated 1st grade, I have one neighbor who actually pulled her son out of kindergarten a couple months into the school year because he was not ready socially for the challenge; he's in 1st grade now and doing well. I have another neighbor who's son turned 6 this past June and is in Kindergarten this year. I live in Indiana also, my younger sons bday is just after the cutoff. I've had several people tell me I should enroll him in a private kindergarten next year so he can go ahead and start school. I don't really see the need to rush. I personally like the idea of him being the oldest in the class. I hope this helps!

Carla - posted on 10/18/2009




Hi Beth, I completely understand how you are feeling.I had the same talk with my daughter's teacher in Kindergarden and I was devastated also. But holding her back really helped her to get more of the basic down and it gave her more confidince in herself that she could do it. Check with your school sometimes they will have a class that is a little more advanced than the normal 1st grade class so that he will get a mix of 1st grade and second grade so its not the exact same as he has done this year. that is what they put my daughter in and it worked great. I hope this has helped.

Suzie - posted on 10/18/2009




Both of my sons have fall birthdays. My now 7 year old just started 1st. grade and most of the boys in his class are turning 7 or already 7. I think it is the maturity level that teachers look at. I plan to hold my 4 year old son back also next year. I see nothing wrong with giving boys another year to mature before they start school.

Traci - posted on 10/14/2009




Hey Beth, I don't see anything wrong with holding him back as it will help him later on. My grandparents did it for me and it was one of the best things they done for me. I graduated with honors and lots of scholarships. Good luck! Traci

Emily - posted on 10/14/2009




I held my son back in preschool so he started kindy a year later than he was meant to. It was really hard and when the teacher broached the subject with me, I too was devastated. I tried so hard to help back the tears but they came pouring as I walked out of her office. I have found that it is fairly common for boys to develop a little slower than girls. My son's birthday is also close to the cut off which I think makes a difference, too.

Anyway, my son is now in the 3rd grade and doing very well. I worried for a while whether on not I had made the right decision but by the time the next school year came around, I KNEW I had done the right thing.

Good luck to you! Just know that no matter what you decide to do, you are doing what is best for your son. :-)

Michele - posted on 10/13/2009




I get how you feel. My son was home schooled and when i took him to enroll him into school they said they would not take the home school. As like you i was upset. But it was hard cause i dident want him to be behind other kid's. I see now that he is older that it was best for him cause he is so smart and is ahead of his class . I dont see anything wrong with holding him back if it will help him in the long run. My child always get's A's Or B's and is very smart and loves to learn new thing's. So i hope it dont get you to upset if you have to hold him back cause it will be the best for him. Good luck. michele

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