having a partner is VERY over-rated!

Nayuribe - posted on 06/05/2010 ( 6 moms have responded )

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having a partner is VERY over-rated!!!! when my bf gets mad or is stressed he takes it out on me, and well, who else is he going to take it out on? but I would like some recognition, i DO take care of our kids and the household, maybe some days the house is messier than others, but i still do stuff, and I never get a day off. it's so hard to be on the same page with regards to raising the kids, he thinks i'm too strict and i think he's too forgiving, like bedtime, i like the kids to go to bed at the same time everynight, 8.30, but no, some nights, when he comes home early from work, he wants to give them 30 mins more and i always end up being the bad guy, and like no junk food in between meals, i do let them have a snack in the afternoon, a cookie and juice. i just feel like he's making it harder than it should be, and making me feel bad about my parenting, i feel like i'm raising 3 kids instead of 2, only he doesn't listen or do as i say. :( :( :( :(

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Melanie - posted on 06/06/2010

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I know just what you mean, yes they may be the ones that go to work everyday but they have no idea how draining looking after children can be. My hubby thinks that just because he works that excuses him from everything. I'm trying to teach him that just because he works it doesn't mean he does not have to be a parent. Or that he can do nothing on the weekends but play silly computer games he may be at work some of the time but he is a dad ALL the time. He also thinks I'm too strick and I have been very clear that I am the one that has to put up with the tantums and bad behaviour not him and I will discipline her how I think is appropriate and he must go along with it and not pull me up in front of her. However, just because I've said this to him doesn't mean he does it! I try not to let it build up or I just end up yelling at him and we get no where I try to talk to him about it often to remind him of what I need from him. My daughter is 13mths and it has taken a long time for us to get past the never ending fighting and be able to talk about things. He is slowly learnign that I do just about everything around the house and the odd times i ask for a bit of help it really is just a little thing I am asking and I really greatful to him for doing it, but if he doesn't do it then yes I get pissed as I really don't think I'm asking for much.

Heather - posted on 06/05/2010

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I feel you love!! My husband is the same way! However I love him and he makes it possible for me to stay at home and raise our children and I remind myself of that every time he makes me want to castrate him for being a complete a**hole! Take a deep breath, have a conversation with him about why you do the things you do with your kids, and hope he understands. My husband and I went to a parenting and marriage conference and that really helped for him to understand why I do the things I do and help out with a few more things around the house!

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Nayuribe - posted on 06/06/2010

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EXACTLY TARRA!! my bf often askes "why (if u say u're soooo tired "at night") don't u sleep-in or take a nap during the day?" R U SERIOUS?!?!?! I don't get how he DOESN'T get how much time demanding a 3 and 1 y.o. can be, u think they'll just sit in their beds all day or make their own breakfast in the morning? or get their own baths ready? SERIOUSLY!!! how can he not see that?

Tarra - posted on 06/06/2010

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I think we have all been there! I feel the same way at the moment. He is in a pissed off mood and i dont do anything 7 days a week while he geos to work for 5! I get up to all the kids, i do all the cleaning, i cook all the meals and i dont get to get away from them....

Lisa - posted on 06/05/2010

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I feel the same way my bf every time he comes over my kids don't listen to me when I tell them that they have to bed they never listen but if I scared them a bit then they would run in the room and say oh ur a mean mom and my bf says now why are you like that to ur kids? I really didn't say nothing right so one day my 5 year old was playing a little bit too much and was kicking him in the nuts and he couldn't take it and said stop once again i did not say nothing i just gave him an expression like I told you now you see what I have to do when they act up lol its about them showing you respect and you should demand that respect

Marsha - posted on 06/05/2010

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is it possible to talk to him about how u r feeling about ur different parenting styles and let him know why u r parenting the way u are and why it may be working. i agree that kids need structure in their day and night so they know what to expect.

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