Having breakdowns are okay right?

Karen - posted on 05/16/2013 ( 6 moms have responded )

17

0

1

Is it really okay for me to have alot of breakdowns? Things have been much harder at home. Hubby is working 2 jobs and 7days a week. My kid is growing molars (one year). And lately, I have been crying for over the simplest things. I guess I am asking because I was raised that crying is not going to help the situation, but I can't seem to stop myself. What should i do? Any suggestions?

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

[deleted account]

I think it depends on the severity of the "breakdown."

If you are just sitting down for a good cry, I think that's fine, but if it turns into cutting yourself, or taking pills, or drinking, or running away, those kinds of breakdowns are serious. If the crying is getting in the way of living your life--like if you are afraid to go out because you might cry, or if you are not taking care of your child, or cleaning your home because you are spending so much time crying, then you need to get professional help.

I do agree that crying doesn't help any situation--I myself have never really understood why people do it. That said, I know for a lot of people, crying makes them feel better, somehow helps them get their thoughts together. It IS okay to cry sometimes, but not so much that it starts to destroy your life.

Joyce - posted on 05/22/2013

88

4

2

No it is NOT. Someone in the family has to go out and work and you are blessed enough to stay at home to raise your kids the ways you prefer, as opposed to those who must leave them in the hands of strangers.
I've been married 33 years this year and my husband hasnearly worked 80-100 hr weeks for almost all of them, and w/o the luxury of an obstetrician's paycheck.
yes, it has been very hard and very lonely most of the time, especially bc we transferred out a lot for his career...company said, "To move up, you have to move out."
You are the adult at home and you must set the tone for a positive day for your family, every day. It is VERY hard, even when you are legitimately unwell, but he is out soldiering on, so you will do the same at home, remembering he does it for all of you and you will do the same for all of them. Give him a wonderful reason to come home every night, save complaints another planned time for both of you, bc job 1 is to keep your family intact. Smile when your kids get home and remember that part of your job is to listen, even when you feel like you cannt listen any longer.
My brother's wife complained at him horribly for almost 20yrs...such a sad and hurtful relationship.
Schedule couple time often, w/o the kids and every other time, go over negative issues, unless they are very serious.
But, no more self-serving grief bc your's is not the worst case scenario, though you may feel like you've had a bad trick played on you. Gear up,bc life can deal some heftier blows than what you have now.
Love your husband and kids with all your might bc these are your very own and it is all too easy to have them swept away like feathers in the wind.
As an intern teacher, my mentor taught me this, but you can apply it to everyday:
1. Did I serve the student?
2. Did I serve the family?
3. Did I serve the school?
4. What did I do today that I can do better tomorrow?
Now take all your woes, put them into your fist. Put your fist in the air and open it up and let them all go!

[deleted account]

Karen
Everyone experience times when it seems like everything around them has fallen apart or life just isn't making sense and it takes everything you've got just to hold on. I've had moments where I've said "Lord I am trying to hold on my rope has knotts in it how much longer?" I am not a believer of pills. The body obsorbs and the more you take pills the body eventually says OK that's not enough I need more then all of a sudden theres nothing strong enough to help. Some people need it though. You have to gain control of your mind and stop feeding it the obvious. Instead of focusing on what IS Start talking blessings over your family your child and yourself. Some where in life you lost your self esteem, joy, confidence was lost and it became easy to focus on negative. You've got to shake off negative thoughts, doing the poor me no one understands Life is hard I wish things would just get easier. Alot of times medication makes a person break down alot. Push out fear and doubt. Bring joy back into your life. Have date nights with your husband. Bring music into your life and especially your child. Everyone is different but when i've reached my lowest I burn my favorite apple cinnamon candle,have a piece of chocolate and play/sing up beat songs from the 80's. Yeah some may say it's stupid but who cares. Sometimes when myhusband is home he'll watch the girls I'll go out for a bike ride and get that fresh air. Become active. There has to be something you would enjoy just to break the monotony of everyday life.This is what I do everytime my husband deploys and its easy to get depressed but I refuse to give in. Be encouraged know that God has his angels surrounding your family. I am praying Thank you God that your hand of favor covers you your child your husband. Gods blessings and favor over your finances, health, relationships and home. Don't loose your smile your joy your hope or your dreams. If you have to talk, talk to a pastor they don't charge. I am blessed to now be a stay at home mom. I make sure my daughters wake up to the first words " sweetheart I love you" I get up an hour before my husband everyday to make him breakfast coffee and lunch before he has to report to duty. I tell him everyday how much I appreciate the sacrifice he is making for our family. During the day I say a pray on his behalf over my girls and myself even though I am cleaning. You have total control of your mind strengthen it with positive. Hang in there Life isn't always an easy road to travel but you've been given the ability to be strong and get through all life throws at you. Time is too precious and valuable. Dreams have yet to come to fluition and there are so many happy days ahead of you. Start believing again. My thoughts are with you and your family.

Rebekah - posted on 05/17/2013

62

0

9

Yes that is normal! :) Crying actually releases hormones and you always feel better afterwards.. But it does make you tired.. try and get more sleep - if your kids are sleeping - have a nap for half an hour - makes a massive difference! Everything always seems a million times worse if you are tired too.. have a bath and relax for half an hour.. have a coffee and read a book for a few mins.. I changed my diet too and it made a massive difference - I don't think you have depression but this is really interesting..

http://www.naturalnews.com/020611_depres... :)

This conversation has been closed to further comments

6 Comments

View replies by

Karen - posted on 05/22/2013

17

0

1

I have to say that these are some helpful information. I have stopped crying so much now. I guess I used the wrong term: breakdown. I was just really crying alot and not being able to stop myself. Thanks guys :)

Karen - posted on 05/17/2013

17

0

1

I did forget to mention I had postpartum depression as well as prenatal depression. I have still been taking care of my son, and myself. I have diabetes that i need to get under control. I guess it's just getting so hard to keep everything together. I know there will be times like these in life. It just gets very very hard for yourself and.. well I guess crying when that happens is okay. Thanks guys :)

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms