having father and daughter problem!!

Eri - posted on 03/28/2010 ( 5 moms have responded )

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hi.. i have a 4 yr old gal.. she's always problematic whenever my dad is around. my dad always spoils her. i already talk to him regarding this issue and it become worse! we tend to have fights about the lil one. can u imagine, my dad took her away when i was scolding her?? i was very furious!! he said my daughter is too young to understand! she only behaves when my dad is away. she has no respect for my dad too. she shouts at him and yet he did nothing! i reli need ur help!! anyone! other than that my dad is not happy with my partner. i have to admit my dad is very demanding and not understanding. i try to seek help for counselling, he refused! he said i was rude to teach him ways to solve our problem!

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Crystal - posted on 03/29/2010

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I think its just about boundaries... and to let him know that YOU are the parent. I have the same problem with my dad as far as spoiling my kids, and at times I just have to step in and say enough is enough. Whether he agrees with your every decision about how you're raising your daughter or how you talk to her, it doesn't matter... I tell my dad he doesn't have to agree with me, but to please support me. Does your daugther witness how you and your dad interact when you're disagreeing? She may be disrespectful to him if she sees you being disrespectful, and obviously doesn't understand the difference and it probably needs to be explained.

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Eri - posted on 03/29/2010

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tank u ladies... those suggestions were great but i got a problem tho... im staying with him!! aaaahhhh!!! she's with me from the time she wakes up til around 7 pm or so when my dad reach home... after that she ran to her grandpa and refused to get out from my dad's room.. to be honest i want to get out from there and rent a house elsewhere but im not financially stable yet..

Kristin - posted on 03/28/2010

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Tell your daughter that misbehaving when around other is unacceptable and that if she can't behave herself, no more visitors. Tell your dad that if he can't step back and let you raise YOUR daughter how you feel is appropriate, that his visits will be severely curtailed. He will either get on board or miss out on a lot. It's tough, but most of us want our children to grow up being respectful of others and society's rules. Your dad needs to support your endeavors.



Good luck.

Amy - posted on 03/28/2010

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my neice does this with my dad(her grandpa) she had him wraped around her little finger. when anyone would get onto her he would pick her up and drive her to he local gas station to get icecream. ugh we were furious so we told him that he could not see her until he changed his ways. of coarse this method will not work if you live together but if you do not it may be worth it. just og around him less and less with your daughter till he realizes hes missing out on so much by doing this and maybe it will help.

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Do you live with your dad?? If my parents were acting like this, I would explain to them that I am the parent, I make the decisions, NOT them. I would also tell them that until they changed their attitude, I would be coming around less frequently. I'd tell my daughter the same thing.

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