HELP!

Shaina - posted on 11/30/2009 ( 24 moms have responded )

182

4

24

I'm feel like I'm reaching my breaking point WAY too fast. I'm not too sure why but for the last week or so I've been geting really frustrated over the dumbest things. ANY suggestions to help me chill out? What do you do when you have just had enough?



***Thank you all for your suggestions. I still have NO idea what made me hit that *enough!* moment so quickly but I am feeling better. I think the fact the my S.O. picked up on the fact I wasnt feeling great and made a point of telling me how much he appreciates all that I do. I have things that I do to get mommy time but I think I do one thing for too long and then dnt want to do it at all. (read, work on my son's baby book, crafts, paint, draw ect) I think what I need to start doing is to do one the for one or two days and not weeks on end lol. I really am thankful for my son and family, there are just times when I feel like no matter what I do I'm not making a difference. Thank you ALL for your support, suggestion, and encouragement. It really did make a difference. Thank you.***

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Amanda - posted on 12/02/2009

13

76

1

I felt the same way after I had my first child. I found myself getting snappy with my hubby and wanting to yell at my dad and sister when they just wanted to help. What I did was after the hubby got home and had chilled a bit himself I would go for a walk with my head phones in or go for a drive with my fav music playing. I live in Colorado so it gets cold so the nights I would go on my drives I would find a place to park and journal. Just got all my thoughts and feeling out on paper, and at times I would cry and cry and had no clue why I was even crying but when I was done I felt much better and I could go home to my family and feel somewhat like myself again. Hope that helps :)

Brandi - posted on 12/01/2009

111

7

23

When my toddler is driving me nuts, I pack him into the car and go window shopping (I leave all money and cards in the car so I'm not tempted to buy). Even if it's just Wal-mart or Target for 45 min. He's really friendly so he likes going into the store to flirt with all the other people and I like browsing in stores I could never shop in. Also our closest mall has this great indoor toddler area with slides and things to climb on that let him run around and play with other kids.

24 Comments

View replies by

Wendy - posted on 12/03/2009

40

21

7

I have been feeling the same way. I do not have any family close to call on for help. This will sound silly but a shower always helped me. I would breastfeed my son and put him down for his nap then take a shower. I would have the monitor in there just incase and the radio so i could sing out my frustration. Depending on the type of mood I was in I would pick a cd that matched the mood. There is also storytime at the local library. I had a gym membership but they do not clean the nursery there and my daughter got ill all the time. I lived in NY and NE so I get the cold thing wii has the workout and yoga games that might help. Reading is my personal escape. I love it even if only for 5-10 mins hiding in the bathroom. Your solution will not always work you will have to find others and rotate as your time allows. When it would get really bad I would go out into the garage and scream or cry and that would get me through the worst of it. I know you will find what works for you as we all must do. Good Luck

Doriss - posted on 12/03/2009

69

24

8

I hear ya...



I usually try to find a way to manage the kids i.e. entertain them w/ something, send them to a relative for a few hours, or just during their nap time...I then do whatever I consider relaxing, make some Tea, Call a Friend, Read a Book, or Just Sit on my LapTop and surf the Net...I reach my boiling point often, and need some sort of an outlet..its beautiful weather here in Phoenix, so going out for a walk would be a good idea too...Good Luck.

Keila - posted on 12/03/2009

13

6

4

is this your first child?....is he/she special needs?....I have 2 kids...a boy 9 1/2 and a special needs daughter that is 5....It was challanging....and at times I thought I would lose it....but everytime I felt my self go crazy...I looked at my son and Thanked God for his Health...then I looked at my Daughter and Thanked God she was alive....There are many things to keep u focused...It could be worse..this is what I would tell my self at times...post little notes around the house to remind you of why you are a mother and why its so important for you to keep it together....Take some time out for yourself...and take some time out for a date night w/ur man....Trust me its essential to surviving...God Bless ya!

Jane - posted on 12/03/2009

1,488

32

227

if my husband is around, i usually yell at him. LOL!

otherwise, it's good to get out of the house which is really fun and easy w/ a 2 1/2 yr old and a 10 month old. ;)

see if you can find a play group or a play place, a class at the YMCA for you and baby, a church group or a SAHM group in your area (google). pack up the baby and get in the car and go to a mall. the littlest thing can help. invite over some other moms w/kids. that helps a lot. they can play and you can find some friendships and support and realize that none of us are crazy, we're just over-worked.

Cristina - posted on 12/03/2009

49

9

1

Hi Shaina!

First off, you're definitely not alone in this boat, so don't think it's you. I think we've all reached that point where we feel we aren't going to make it through another day.
Depending on what exactly is frustrating you the most, I think you have a lot of options. If it's the kids, use whatever support you have whether it be family, partner or babysitter and just get away, even if it's just for an hour. Go shopping, work out, get a pedi, whatever floats your boat and enjoy some quality "me" time. Sometimes, especially when I'm starting to get frustrated with my little guy, I grab one of his photo albums from when he was born and just take a minute to flip through it and it helps bring me back to the joy of being a mom, despite cleaning up spilt drinks every hour or waking up at 3am to get him back to sleep.
If you feel like there's not enough time in the day, then split up your "me" time into smaller portions that you can take during a hectic day, five minutes of flipping through a magazine while they brush their teeth before bed or take five minutes to email an old friend while waiting for dinner to get done.

Just remember to take care of you! The holidays are a great time to reflect on all the little blessings we take for granted. Try to stay warm in Minnesota! See it as providing plenty of opportunities for hot cocoa and a good book. Good luck!

Cristina - posted on 12/02/2009

327

35

19

Hun, don't fret we all go through that a lot, at least for me, I am from FL too and lived in Utah for a good 5 years and the change is felt greatly when that snow starts to fall hard, the choices are not many.
I am back home to the sunny place, but still a mom goes through that wits end many times, you need to focus on things that you might do at home that might relax you, if you can't go out, like painting or writing in a journal, you need some ME time even if you breast feed, pump away and freeze for the sitter or hubby to warm up for you baby, while you're away doing your thing, ( even if it is in your own home), if you don't take some time for yourself the whole family feels it from the hubby to the baby, just try to change the routine a bit, hope it all helps at least a bit. We women go through our moments but we are strong and I know you can do this, just like million of women before us did it. Good luck.

[deleted account]

I think every mom has a breaking point. It's important to do something about it b4 you get there. When all else fails I go to Starbucks get a yummy drink and walk around Target. 2 of my favorite places. Sometimes I call a girlfriend to go and other times I go alone. Just so I get out by myself, even if I don't buy anything.

[deleted account]

What I have found that has helped me out day to day is a membership at my local YMCA. Exercising improves my mood, I have more patience through the day, I have formed friendships with other mom's with kids the same age as mine, and I also fit into my pre-pregnancy jeans after 3 kids. They offer 2.5 hours a day up to 15 hours a week of childcare that I can use not only to exercise, but also to simply sit in the lobby and read or enjoy a cup of overpriced coffee if I'm having a bad day and just need a few minutes to myself. If your looking at this and saying I can't afford a gym membership, the Y offers discounted memberships based upon income. It's been a lifesaver for me over the last 3 years.

Gina - posted on 12/02/2009

17

20

0

I understand totally where you are coming from.... I have 4 children, but mine are all old enough to take care of themselves for little things... And being new to an area is hard... we travel with my husband for his job, so we are always in new places(or at least sometimes we are), I have a hard time meeting new people... I would suggest finding a church or a moms group.... Coming from MN there are a few good churches around.. our favorite was Calvary Chapel, I think they may have one in your area but not positive.... I hope things get better for you, this is a tough season in MN to deal with... I lived in MN for most of my life and truthfully if I never go back it would still be too soon... but thats me lol..... maybe even use a day care for one day a week for a few hrs... just to rejuvinate yourself a bit... I hope things get better...

Shaina - posted on 12/01/2009

182

4

24

Quoting Brandi:

When my toddler is driving me nuts, I pack him into the car and go window shopping (I leave all money and cards in the car so I'm not tempted to buy). Even if it's just Wal-mart or Target for 45 min. He's really friendly so he likes going into the store to flirt with all the other people and I like browsing in stores I could never shop in. Also our closest mall has this great indoor toddler area with slides and things to climb on that let him run around and play with other kids.



our mall has one of those play areas too. I'm going to take him there today when he wakes up from his morning nap. I hope he has fun : )

Tam - posted on 12/01/2009

107

17

22

I dont know if they have it where you are but when my kids were little i went to a mothers of pre schoolers(MOPS) It was a refreshing change of pace they watch your kids for like an hour in the nursery while you eat, visit , do a craft or just visit with other moms..It was at a church but it helped me so much. I was going to college with 2 little ones and another on the way. I was totally overwhelmed, and I got to meet other moms who were in the same circumstance. When i went to get my kids from the nursery i felt rejuvenated..

Helena - posted on 12/01/2009

1

8

0

I joined a local Momma and baby club at the local college. We go together once a week and I look forward to it so much. Its wonderful to have a reason to get her and I dressed up and socialize with other parents with children around the same age. I can understand the feeling of being overwelmed and doing it all on your own, (he dosn't know wher the diapers or wipes are.) Maybe meeting some other moms and sharing will help. Good luck.

Heather - posted on 11/30/2009

12

4

1

I find that when I start feeling like I can't take it anymore, it's more than just the mommy-business. Especially now that I am a stay at home mommy, I feel like my house should be clean everyday, dinner should be on the table every evening, laundry should be kept in check, groceries should be stocked etc. When that feeling starts creeping up on me, I find that all those things are weighing in on me AND the little one needs more attention than usual. I have to make the concious decision that everything else can just be left, even if it's for more than a day. I concentrate on him, thereby leaving more time myself. Remember, all those other things will be there tomorrow & the next day & the next.



And, sometimes you just gotta' get away. Many places have community type programs, such as Mother's Day Out. It's usually inexpensive & only a couple of days out of the week.



Good Luck!

Shaina - posted on 11/30/2009

182

4

24

Quoting Anna:

Winter can have some bad effects on your mood - you could try getting one of those lamps that produce the effect of sunlight, or otherwise, whenever possible, try to get some sunlight on your skin.
Are you getting enough sleep? Could you ask for some extra help from your partner or family or friends so you can just have a rest? Even if they come over to your place, so you are still close to him. If you don't get some time to yourself, it can drive you crazy.



Yeah, I'm REALLY not used to not seeing the sun. LOL I mean it gets gross and gloomy in Florida but NOTHING like it is here in Minnesota. I'm up with my son every 2 hours to feed him so I get sleep but not through the night. I try to take naps when he naps but by the time I'm setteled and just starting to fall asleep hes waking up so it just makes me more tired. I'm SO helps when he's at home but I'm still the one who does the most because I'm the one whos always with him so its just easier. I dont even think he knows where I keep the extra diapers and wipes lol. As far as family and friends...theyre all in florida so I dont think that would work haha.

Shaina - posted on 11/30/2009

182

4

24

Quoting Anna:

Winter can have some bad effects on your mood - you could try getting one of those lamps that produce the effect of sunlight, or otherwise, whenever possible, try to get some sunlight on your skin.
Are you getting enough sleep? Could you ask for some extra help from your partner or family or friends so you can just have a rest? Even if they come over to your place, so you are still close to him. If you don't get some time to yourself, it can drive you crazy.



Yeah, I'm REALLY not used to not seeing the sun. LOL I mean it gets gross and gloomy in Florida but NOTHING like it is here in Minnesota. I'm up with my son every 2 hours to feed him so I get sleep but not through the night. I try to take naps when he naps but by the time I'm setteled and just starting to fall asleep hes waking up so it just makes me more tired. I'm SO helps when he's at home but I'm still the one who does the most because I'm the one whos always with him so its just easier. I dont even think he knows where I keep the extra diapers and wipes lol. As far as family and friends...theyre all in florida so I dont think that would work haha.

Anna - posted on 11/30/2009

552

12

52

Winter can have some bad effects on your mood - you could try getting one of those lamps that produce the effect of sunlight, or otherwise, whenever possible, try to get some sunlight on your skin.
Are you getting enough sleep? Could you ask for some extra help from your partner or family or friends so you can just have a rest? Even if they come over to your place, so you are still close to him. If you don't get some time to yourself, it can drive you crazy.

Rebecca - posted on 11/30/2009

1,988

118

313

Then cry. I found when my first born was born i couldn't control my feelings for a good 6-8 months and i felt so depressed. My husband is military and is gone frequently and he too didn't help a lot when our son was little. I used to lock myself in the bathroom when he would get hom and just cry and to be honest it helped a lot. I felt it made me happier after from not having to keep all my emotions in. We are only mothers ladies. We are not superiour to emotions and when we have kids it can sometimes take a while for our hormones to get back to normal...if at all. I too live where it is cold. Canada!LOL It gets cold here so damn fast so we do more inside stuff now. Play cars, watch a movie...my son loves a bath so sometimes if i don't know what to do with him he gets in the baht and plays with his toys. He would do it for hours if i let him! Try to relax when you can for sure and don't be ashamed if you have to wait to do errands on the weekend. I know for me i don't like going anywhere with a 2yr old and a 4month old as my son just runs everywhere so if i need anything i wait until my husband is home and we either go together or i go alone to get out of the house. It will get easier as your child gets old as well. My husband helps out more that our son is older and i look after the baby for the most part at night.

Shaina - posted on 11/30/2009

182

4

24

Quoting Michelle:

Actually, I felt the same way last week. I tried to turn on the music, sing and play fb games. It helped a little bit but the next day I felt the same way again and can't think of what to do anymore except talk it out to my husband. I did told my husband about what I feel. When my baby was a couple months old, my husband asked the Pediatrician if it's ok that I need to go out grocery shopping and bring the baby with me. The Pediatrician said, "No, you shop for her or she shop by herself and you stay at home with the baby. She needs to go out and away from the baby even just for a couple hours. She need it". And that is really true coz every time I'm away from my baby, I started to miss her and I have a better attitude once I arrive home. If you have friends close to where you live, call your friends and have a dinner on Friday night while the husband take care of the little one. I did that before and I feel good every time I come home. I haven't been out by myself for 2 months now and I think that's the reason why I'm not in a good mood lately. My husband is busy at work and in our new house but I told him that I need to go out again with my friends or I'll go crazy.


I'm SO happy I'm not the only one who feels like this. I've told my SO and he tries to help out but he works such long hours. Hes gone before Ethan is up and is only home for an hour or so before Ethan goes to bed. The only time we have as a family is on the weekend so I try to do all of the errands during the week. As far as going out with friends...well I dont have any out here. We moved to Minnesota from Florida back in May and I still dont really know anyone. I've gone to a few LLL meetings but I'm still new. The only people I know out here are my SO and his family. I was reading for awhile to get my "mommy time" when he was napping or something but now I dont even want to do that : /   I'm SO frustrated I just want to scream and cry. EH!

Shaina - posted on 11/30/2009

182

4

24

Quoting amanda:

GET A BABYSITTER for a day or 2. drink strawberry margritas and listen to music in the bathtub....seriously



My SO's parents take him from time to time but I just get so antsy when I'm not with him. And he's still breastfed so I cant stay away from him for THAT long. We dont have that much milk in the freezer lol.

Michelle - posted on 11/30/2009

63

29

2

Actually, I felt the same way last week. I tried to turn on the music, sing and play fb games. It helped a little bit but the next day I felt the same way again and can't think of what to do anymore except talk it out to my husband. I did told my husband about what I feel. When my baby was a couple months old, my husband asked the Pediatrician if it's ok that I need to go out grocery shopping and bring the baby with me. The Pediatrician said, "No, you shop for her or she shop by herself and you stay at home with the baby. She needs to go out and away from the baby even just for a couple hours. She need it". And that is really true coz every time I'm away from my baby, I started to miss her and I have a better attitude once I arrive home. If you have friends close to where you live, call your friends and have a dinner on Friday night while the husband take care of the little one. I did that before and I feel good every time I come home. I haven't been out by myself for 2 months now and I think that's the reason why I'm not in a good mood lately. My husband is busy at work and in our new house but I told him that I need to go out again with my friends or I'll go crazy.

Shaina - posted on 11/30/2009

182

4

24

Quoting hayley:

i find putting my son in his buggy and going for a walk calms me down as im outside and away from the house in the fresh air



We would do that when it was warmer but I live in Minnesota and we're getting some snow already. And I'm from Florida so I have NO idea what to do when it gets cold. Thank you though.

Hayley - posted on 11/30/2009

111

14

21

i find putting my son in his buggy and going for a walk calms me down as im outside and away from the house in the fresh air

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms