Help! advise

Jennifer - posted on 12/11/2009 ( 9 moms have responded )




I have trouble keeping up with things in the house .I wake up around 9 and me and my son are playing ,reading and i do alot of activites together and plus i work from home.By the time my husband comes home the house is some what put together.He always points out to me what isint donein the house and he does not help me at all! Advise please


View replies by

Ara - posted on 12/12/2009




My husband and I have a small business and I work pretty much part time and stay at home with our 18 month old, while he goes out and works around the city. I've learned to start asking him nicely to do little things and, to my surprise, he actually doesn't mind doing them! Who would've thought you could make it on time to church if you asked him to pre-make juice & milk cups while you're getting ready, get her coat, and little things like that. I've learned that it really helps out a lot and I have more time too.

Breanna - posted on 12/12/2009




hope it helps! just remember we are here for you if you need to talk :) we moms have to stick together to keep sane lol

Breanna - posted on 12/12/2009




awe I hear ya, it is hard for men to understand. Its just something they don't get. I have the same problem so what I do is after my son goes to sleep at night that is when I try to get as much done as possible.I am usually up stupid late but it works or I will get my hubby to play with our son when he gets home so i can clean and work as I too work from home I have my own small business. I personally do not think it is fair to ave him work all day then come home and be expected to work more.....:) Just know that you are not alone and try not to be too hard on your hubby

Patty - posted on 12/12/2009




I agree! You should take off with friends for the day, or a weekend and let him just get even a taste of what you do. Communication is key as well.... Being a mom is a full time job, if you're working at home besides that, that means you're working 2 full time jobs (it's been "studied" by professionals even) :) Hubby needs to be helping, not criticizing... I feel people are more important the "getting everything done around the house." Just do what you can, don't stress, communicate feelings to hubby and let him get a taste of what you go through... Hmmm, otherwise that are other ways to torture him ;)

Kerry - posted on 12/11/2009




I think you husband needs a full day at home to look after your son!! (don't you have a really important meeting to go to with your friends.....wink, wink)

Tara - posted on 12/11/2009




I totally agree with Coralee - make him do what you do every day, even a single day of doing it should give him an idea of how much you have to do. Honestly, some things can wait until the baby goes to bed, such as picking up the toys in the front room, or dishes, etc. Some men just don't get it, they figure you have to be sitting on your butt all day doing nothing - it's not until they are forced to do it themselves that they start to get it. My husband still can't carry more than one thing when he brings our daughter into the house from our van, yet I'm carrying my purse, the diaper bag, a couple of bags of groceries (or whatever else), and the littlest one in the carseat - sometimes you just have to point out that you ARE doing a heck of a lot :)

Adrienne - posted on 12/11/2009




Maybe try setting up a schedule for yourself to take some of the pressure off. Also, communicate with your husband openly about how his comments make you feel, and about what a big job it is to take care of everything all by yourself. Trading with him for a couple of days might not be such a bad idea...

Carolee - posted on 12/11/2009




Take a weekend off. Seriously. While he's at home, have him do all the chores PLUS take full care of your son. Lounge around and point out what he hasn't done... and make sure he's spending as much time with your son as you do. It will benefit the child... and you. A lot of women have to do this to their husbands, especially if there's only one child. Be prepared for an argument, though... but be as up-beat and nice as you can until the role-reversal weekend has begun. Good luck.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms