Help I have tryed everything and nothing works

Jami - posted on 09/11/2009 ( 3 moms have responded )

5

11

1

I have five kids. Three are in school and two stay home with me. I can't get any of them to listen to me. I have tryed everything from timeouts, takeing things away from them , to a spanking and nothing seems to work. My husband can look at them and just tell them to stop and they will listen. I don't know what I am doing wrong. If you have any advice for me please let me know. I could use all the help I can get.

3 Comments

View replies by

[deleted account]

OMG You need to go online or go to a store or SOMETHING and get a LOVE & LOGIC DVD and/or BOOK! Please do this, you and your kids will have much better lives. Love and logic works! Please spare yourself a lot of stress and wasted time.

Bonnie - posted on 09/11/2009

39

35

6

Does your husband ever undermine your authority when you discipline the kids by disciplining them himself? Or do you threaten them with "When your dad comes home" kind of comments? I dealt with this for awhile with my middle child and after evaluating the situation I realized the two above things played a large part in his response to me. So, if you answered yes you should address those two things first by speaking with your husband about the undermining thing and make a conscious effort to not threaten with dad. If this isn't a factor, I also found that when I get on my knees in front of him and say (for example) I understand that you are feeling tired, but that is no excuse for behaving in that manner. It is not acceptable and I will not tolerate it. You can choose to stop this behavior or...(give consequence). Then I count to 3 (or 5) slowly to give him some time to decide before moving on. If he stops by the time I reach 3 then I say thank you and allow him to go play. If he continues then I follow through with the consequence.



Schedules really help too! Kids thrive on structure but I've had to rely on school to implement the schedule. I'm horrible with that! LOL! Also, we don't allow any t.v. or electronics for the school age kids until after homework is done and during the summer it is about 1 hour in the morning and then no more until after 5.



Hope that helps!

Cheri - posted on 09/11/2009

260

96

67

Try keeping them busy doing fun things. I learned in college that children act up when they feel safe and they must feel safe with you!

I had 72 special needs foster kids, I specialized in drug babies (adopted my first 12 years ago) and for my sanity I write family friendly parenting articles about behavior solutions, arts & crafts, science & reading for toddlers, kids sports and activities, family fun, etc. for moms like us!

Published online at AssociatedContent.com search Cheri Majors, M.S.

or on Twitter.com/blondygirl1 for updates.

I'd love your feedback, helpful?

God bless,

Cheri

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms