help i need to get my boy out of smacking his brother

Patsy - posted on 04/26/2010 ( 2 moms have responded )

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im running out of ideas to get my 2 year old out of smakin my almost four year old boy and also my baby boy who isnt that younger than him, they constantly fight or annoy each other i have tryed to get them to play together nicely but nothing works, please ne suggeshions whould help, iv put boundries and time outs, going without a treat, praising every good thing but nothing seems to work,

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Kristin - posted on 04/26/2010

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Absolutely do as Renee suggested and watch what's going on. Siblings are usually doing this for a reason. Solving that will help with the aggression.

As for how the aggression plays out, time outs each and every time he hits, kicks, bites, etc. Encourage him to use his words rather than whacking his sibling.

We parent's can't force them to play nicely together, no matter how hard we try. I have told mine, time and again, that if they can't play together calmly then they just shouldn't play together. If they continue to bicker, I separate them. And sometimes, as awful as this is going to sound, I just let them have at it. But, I've got two boys and there seems to be a different dynamic there from boy-girl and girl-girl.

Anyway, my big suggestion is to separate and use timeouts for violent behavior. Praise and encourage any nice play you see them doing. Eventually it will be more nice play than fighting.

[deleted account]

Sometimes siblings just fight no matter what we do. With that said I have noticed a lot of sibling problems are caused by no one noticing that one sibling is taking toys or running and getting toys when they see the other child wanting, they run and get it before the other can. That fuels the fued and only makes things worse, it's best to pay attention to the little things going on between them and see if there is something going on under the surface that no one has noticed. I have found once you find what's causing the major fued most of the fights and agression go away. You have to set up boundries even at that age. I used to keep 10 two year olds at a time, and believe me we had boundries, and they did follow them.

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