HELP me ! lots of issues

[deleted account] ( 2 moms have responded )

Hi, so this is my first post and I am really struggling. So I am a first time mom and my husband travels for his job. He is only home thurs night till Sunday night. I am starting to feel very overwhelmed and frustrated. My daughter is 4 months in 2 weeks and I can not put her down... I have tried 3 different wraps/slings/ baby carriers and she hates them. I am her only caregiver and I don't have help... I feel bad putting her down but my mother in law thinks I'm spoiling her... The worst is I SWEAR my daughter is more testy- more fussy for me. She is an ANGEL for my husband. He can sit, watch tv with her... I can't. I feel like all I am is a milk machine that feeds her. I love her so much and its so frustrating that she cries when I set her down. She has a clean diaper, she is burped, she isnt hungry... I try to sit by her to comfort her so she knows I'm close... I just feel like a failure and my husband thinks I'm blowing this out of porpotion but I'm not. She also will have days where she wont let me sit... I SWEAR its like once Monday comes she is a different baby. I don't know what I can do.
Oh, and she will NOT take a pacifier...I've tried 5 different types....I thought she was fussy cause she seems like she wannts to suck but she refuses them ...
Its only Monday and I just don't know how I am going to get through this week. Literally from 1-6 all I did was walk around , feed, change diaper, try to sit, cry cry cry, try this toy that toy other toy, and repeat. She likes to kick and move so I am praying that once she is mobile she will be better for me.
What am I doing wrong ?!


View replies by

Afsanehmaria - posted on 09/10/2013




I hear you. My DS is 4 months and 1 week (god bless him) and he is the same way. The reason they are nicer to Dada is because they don't see him 24/7 so when they do see Dada it's like treat for them and so much fun and in general babies are more polite to the male partner I think.
Have you started her on rice cereal yet? It makes them more tired and sleepy...
Your daughter is growing by the minute and is very energetic so she won't want to sit down.. And very curious about things around her wants to explore them all and who is the one she chooses to share it with?? Her MAMA of course I feel privileged to share these milestones with my son .. My son wants me to hold him walking all day and night long and my mother in law is also annoying telling me to not to hold him.. Well I told her of she wants to be a part of her grandson's life she'd better keep her mouth shut and not interfere with my parenting because I love my baby and would never never ignore his needs and leave him alone so anyway she did shut her mouth and is supporting me now even if its fake:) as for the baby carrier, of course you need a carrier , I am so proud to say I found this great carrier that I just love love love . My son loves it and the minute I put him in it he falls asleep right on my chest. So not only I have him with me all day long, I bond with him as well so it's a win win situation. It's called BECO GEMINI baby carrier. Check it out.... It's a lil pricey but its all ORGANIC COTTON so its very safe because my baby loves to chew on it and its stylish.. my son looks so happy in it..
Good luck with your lil princess and REMEMBER they grow so fast.. You don't want to miss these months ..soon she is gonna start walking:). I adore my lil pumpkin 💙💙🍼🍼🍼

Carol - posted on 09/10/2013




You're not doing anything wrong. It is impossible to spoil a baby. That said, she will not die if you put her down and let her cry.

My oldest son was just like her. I always had to hold him and stand up. Standing up wasn't good enough. If I wasn't on the balls of my feet bouncing him, he'd cry. I could never stand flat footed for about a year. The kid was a giant too!
He liked the swing though. That saved me. Have you tried it?

I was the pacifier, nothing else would work. I swear the pig nursed forever all day and all night. He never took naps and he'd be up a few times a night for at least the first 9 months.

The best advice I can give you is talk with your husband!!! My husband somehow had no clue that I was up so often at night or how hard it was to never be able to sit or even stand flat footed most of the day. I will never forget the day I finally broke down sobbing about how tired I was. Everything changed. He made sure to take our son more and give me a break for as long as he could between feedings. Sometimes I could pump a little and spread the break out longer. I don't think he ever woke up with him at night, but the extra help during the day was so appreciated. I know your husband works out of town during the week, but at least if he helps more during the weekends it will be easier to manage knowing there's an end.

My beast just turned 13. He's still a giant. I'm still alive. After 12 years of better rest, I look at those days fondly and remember that once he actually liked me to hold and kiss him. lol

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