Help me understand.

Merry - posted on 03/31/2010 ( 197 moms have responded )

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I am shocked by how many moms are okay with abortion and contraceptives that use abortion like mirena. I really thought that if you have a baby that you love, then you couldn't imagine causing another of your babies to die. Maybe it is my religious belief that every human has a soul and that there is a god who loves each one......but I know non believers who would NEVER abort their child.....so I'm confused.

Please NO attacks of beliefs
facts are ok but beliefs should be said as such.

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Kereen - posted on 04/03/2010

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WOW just WOW. I was not going to post because the anti sentiment was great but really. I am guessing most of you have not been in a position were you were raped or some other awful thing had happened and abortion was the only option. Oh I know you would never choose that.



But forcing a rape victim to have the child really? I hope you are never raped and you child is the spitting image of your rapist and you have to look at that face everyday. And if you gave the child up for adoption you still had to carry that baby for 9 months. 9 months of reliving what had happened to you.



And the notion of having an abortion for fun...come on. Yeah I have seen all those women lining up for theirs saying wooohoo its abortion time again cool. I don't think so.



Also how many of you have adopted an unwanted drug addicted, product of rape, incest child? HMMMM Lets see those hands.



I was adopted and I have 2 children. My son who is 13 months tested postive for a defect when I was pregnant. I had to do more tests and it turned out he is fine. You know what though if it would have not had a good outcome. I would have had an abortion. It would have been the worse thing for me to do. But I would not bring him into this world just to suffer to make me feel better for having him.



There are thousands of unwanted children. Then their are tons more being abused everyday by parents who didn't want them but didn't believe in abortion or birth control. So its bad to abort but cool to abuse a child that you didn't want just to make yourself feel better.



Being judgemental is far worse than letting people have a choice on how they conduct their lives.



I am done have at me for my opinion.

Jenelle - posted on 04/01/2010

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I don't know how helpful this comment will be, but regardless of my religion, financial situation, or whatever...abortion will never be an option! My doctor worked in California for a few years. He had women coming to him all the time wanting an abortion for reasons like; I heard that being pregnant during the summer is too hot, I don't want my baby born so close to Christmas, I don't want to be pregnant during the winter. Women wanting abortions for the most asinine selfish reasons. It made him so sick that up and quit and came to Utah where abortion isn't as wide spread!! I don't think God makes mistakes, and if you are sent a baby it is for a reason...even if that reason is just for you to give it up for adoption...but babies aren't accidents. "If you can't do the time then don't do the crime"...in this situation, Unprotected sex.

Dawna - posted on 04/02/2010

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Third, several people have claimed that having an abortion is selfish. While I am not so naive as to think that every abortion is performed for altruistic reasons, I do believe that the vast majority are done after agonizing decisions are made by a struggling, terrified woman. For those who seem to think that most abortions are flippant decisions made by selfish, vain women, I am inclined to believe you've never actually met a person faced with such a decision. There may be small segments of our society that condone abortions for feeble reasons like when the birthdate will be, but most are made in the face of far more drastic concerns. Such as: a parent's inability to care for the child emotionally, physically or financially; the woman’s health; rape, etc. In my opinion, what is selfish is to think that all women should be forced to carry a pregnancy to term simply because someone else thinks they should. In my opinion, it is selfish to believe that your own opinions are more important than the truth of the life that woman and child will face if an unwanted pregnancy is carried to term. There are those of us who believe that simply giving a child the gift of life is not enough; mothers have a responsibility to give a child the best life possible. Often, that can be achieved through counseling of parents who may not feel ready or through adoption, but that is not always likely. Sometimes, adoption never happens, and a child is stuck in an overcrowded, underfunded welfare system. Sometimes, the child is born to parents who don't want it but are forced by religious beliefs to have and keep the child, which they then neglect, abuse and sometimes kill after they are born. Sometimes, the child is born but the mother dies, leaving the child an orphan or in the care of people who may blame the child for the mother's death, again leading to mistreatment of the child. How is it more acceptable to condemn a mother and/or child to these and other, often worse, circumstances, than to abort early in the pregnancy? To me, forcing children/women into lives like these is a far worse thing than allowing abortions. I tend to value quality of life and the ultimate protection and loving treatment of children over the idea that life is itself a gift, despite what horrors that life may be bring. No, it isn't possible to know that a child will suffer if born into some of these circumstances, but if a woman has reached the decision that she can not be a mother, I'm inclined to believe her. The only other alternative I can see is to find a way to create a system that allows all women who are denied abortions an opportunity to have the fetuses removed and implanted into other, willing, women and to have all the people who would deny those women the right to an abortion stand up and take on the financial and moral obligations of actually raising that child in a loving environment. To believe so strongly that abortions should NEVER be legal, but not have the willingness to then take on the hardships faced by those women/children, is selfish because it allows one group the right to tell others how to live without having to actually address the negative consequences.

Angie - posted on 04/03/2010

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Enough is enough people. I am getting tired of receiving threads on this. Lets just agree that NO ONE is going to change their minds on this whether you are pro life or pro choice. I do want to say though that apparently NO ONE on here has been in MY shoes and have gone through IVF because if you had then you would know that LIFE begins at conception. I saw my little babies when they were 3 days old in which they were composed of 8 cells. If ANYONE would see that, they would see that is a LIVING thing. Cells grow. As I stated before, we could have done the transfer at 3 days where they were 8 cells or 5 days in which they are more than 60 cells. We did the 3 day transfer. The doctors at the number one fertility clinic in the US told us that these embroyos are still "living/surviving" so we will transfer them into you. and just to clarify we only produced what we were going to use limiting our chances of having a baby but sticking with our beliefs. We also saw the heart flickering at 3 1/2 weeks gestation and most people do not know that they are pregnant at this point. Growth of cells equals life. A beating heat, equals life. Whether you believe that or not, that is up to you. God is THE ONLY judge and we all will have to face him one day. God bless and have a great Easter! I am not going to comment anymore.

Rachael - posted on 04/03/2010

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is it ok for a junkie to have a baby knowing it will be deformed??? if your baby has a rare disease and will die in a couple of months being born any way?????? if a 14 yr old girl finds out she is pregnant and her parents kick her out she has no job and is living on the streets???? or worse yet finds out her baby has down syndrome or another deformity or disease and she cant look after it?????? i don believe in abortion but some times hard decisions need to be made regardless of beliefs!

This conversation has been closed to further comments

197 Comments

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Tia - posted on 04/03/2010

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I believe in abortion because I care about the babies.. they always say [there's adoption!!!] yea there is.. but look at how many kids DON'T have a home because ppl choose a newborn.. and some mothers aren't fit to have a child

Jessica - posted on 04/03/2010

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i am saddened by many of these critical and judgmental post. Especially from those of you who are religious. If you are religious you should know that you do not have to understand why another woman has made her choice. You do not have to understand her choice because it is not yours to judge. It is only up to God to judge and i am sure he understands why she made the choice and if forgiveness is necessary it is his to give not ours. i feel as though so many of us are quick to presume that we know "the best answer" when there is no one right choice to fit everybody. While a lot of these opinions are completely valid they are also completely different. This is because no two people have lived the exact same life. We are not capable of knowing what that person is going through or has been through.Therefore we as people are very ill equipped to say what the best decision for some one else is.

Kryss - posted on 04/03/2010

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i think ..and this is myopinion that "some" ppl who become pregnant..think abortion is the answer just bc some guy or guys in office made it legal and yes its sad and for my own beliefs i couldnt do an abortion...but, im not here to judge anyone..i am with you i cant see how any human could end their babys life inless it was medical conditionss whrer death would occur to the mom or that there was issues with the pregnancy and even then srry but id have to PUSH ( pray until something happens)

[deleted account]

Stephanie Hernandez, you said...

"Is there ANY religion that says abortion is ok?"



Well, in a word - YES! And it all goes back to the *When Does Life Begin* debate. The Jewish Faith teaches that life begins at BIRTH, not conception. And that is why it supports the Pro-Choice point of view. It's ironic, I think, that Judaism is at the core of Christianity, and yet the two religions are on polar opposite ends of the spectrum on this particular issue.



One question to Stephanie and other posters who are Pro-Life...

Do you eat meat? Wear leather?

I'm just sayin'....

Tiffany - posted on 04/03/2010

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I only agree in some cases. Sometimes I do consider it alright though, like in the cases of a rape victim. (although even then i'd keep the child but rape is a hard thing to get past.) There are also people who could put their lives at risk for it and you can say well they can protect themselves but sometimes the greatest of protection can fail.

Angie - posted on 04/03/2010

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One more thing and then I am finished...I promise!!!

When you found out you were expecting around 6-10 weeks pregnant, did you tell people you were having a baby or having a fetus?

[deleted account]

Alot of women on here have said how difficult and painful it is for a woman to make the choice to have an abortion and go through all of that. Do you know that the baby feels this pain, as well? Have you ever seen video taken from ultrasounds that were performed during abortions? The babies grimace, their eyes squint, they make a face that looks like they are screaming or crying. They are having their little bodies ripped limb from limb by a vacuum, having their oxygen supply cut off by some methods, being poisoned by other methods. Some abortion methods actually deliver the baby's head then stab them in the brain stem with a pair of scissors. I had to watch many videos in college about this, not that I wanted to. I saw trash cans filled with teeny tiny babies that looked so perfect, then there were some that were now only body parts, an arm here and a leg there. No matter how small you are, dismemberment, poisoning, suffocation and getting stabbed in the head causes an unimaginable amount of pain so I think the pain that the mother is feeling is nothing compaired to what this baby feels. And yes, I HAVE been there. I was raped at 16 years old and became pregnant. I have walked a mile in those shoes.

[deleted account]

I don't think anyone should be thinking less of anyone else. Opinions are exactly that and they will all differ. But instead of thinking less of a person for their beliefs how about people learn to agree to disagree?

I know i have, but i dont think any less of those people who believe it is murder thats what they feel. And as Jodi said we all control our own actions.

TO the people saying this should be shut down, Laura asked for a debate and that is what she is getting!

Jodi - posted on 04/03/2010

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Gina, yes, How dare I have an opinion that differs from yours and state it?Besides adoption I stated that if the woman felt she was capable of keeping the child and loving it (which does happen BTW) that that is also an option. On the other hand, I'm not going around forcing women to have babies that they don't want. I have said all along that I support a persons right to make choices, but that does not mean I have to agree with their choices or think that they are making the right choices. I believe what I believe and I can only control MY actions, but I retain the right to think whatever it is I want to think, even if it means thinking less of someone else for something that I consider a sin. You can believe what you want to believe and you should retain your right to think whatever you want to think...even if it means thinking less of someone like me for having beliefs different from yours...

Jessica - posted on 04/03/2010

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I DO NOT BELIEVE IN ABORTION!!! I have had 2 misscarriages and luckily i have 2 amazing kids. i dont like the people who dont even think that it could decrease the chances of them concieving an not thinkin that there are people out there who cant have children and would love to adopt those poor babies that they aborted!! xx

[deleted account]

KEISHA:
What was insulting about your comment is that you said "If people choose to believe that a fertilized egg is a pregnancy, then they either do not understand science or choose to believe in religious pamphlets over scientific fact!" when you yourself don't even understand scientific fact yet want to pretend you do! You clearly are NOT an expert. And by commenting that I am a pediatric & family planning nurse was to say that I have a degree in this, I DO know the scientific aspect of this, as well as the theological aspect. You're making rude comments when you don't even know what you're talking about and making yourself look stupid. And to make yourself look even more stupid you say things like "I dont give a SHIT" as your genius response. Way classy.
And, people's anti-abortion beliefs or their faith are not mearly based on a "religious pamphlet". That is a very small minded opinion.

Patience - posted on 04/03/2010

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I have read very few of what people have said. Me myself would never use abortion unless i had to for Medical reasons. As for people how have been Sexually Abused And can't deal with the pain Of looking at there attackers child i beleive it is under all means exceptible to have an abortion. How is anyone Going to judge what people do or what there feelings are about abortion there are very good reasons to have one and there are bad reasons to have an abortion like for birth control that is horrible. There are people who don't deserve to have such a presious thing given to them. How many children get abused every day by beating or sexually abused by there fathers, grandfathers, Uncles, and Stepfathers ext. That the mother knows about those people don't deserve to have children why they do i have no clue but i don't see the reason in judging anyone on there reason of having an Abortion. Now that the law has been set on the government can't help out these people that can't afford a abortion how in the world are they going to afford a child.

Samantha - posted on 04/03/2010

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i think that abortions are wrong unless like some of you have said its for medical reasons or someone has been sexually abused! people that get abortions are selfish and stupid!! stupid cos they should have thought about what they were doing in the first place! being drunk is just a cope out story!! everyone knows what they are doing while under the influences they are just more willing!! so if you stupid enough to have sex with out protection and then not want to deal with the after math ur problem!! and the excuse of i thought i was ready and i thought we would always be together!!! still a cope out or just plain ignorant!! thats why parents should drill it in to their children about the how birds and the bees with the extended version the after math!!! but thats just my view on it!!!

Davine - posted on 04/03/2010

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I am going to put this another way...because I see a lot of people trying to make the points, that I believe as well...like about birth defects, diseases, and drug addicts. For those who believe that child should be brought into the world regardless of what the doctors may be telling you...Do you then believe it is ok to beat your children? do you believe it is acceptable to drug children? Is torturing a child acceptable? Sometmes God does send us these challenges, but arent you also suppose to believe that God wouldnt send you these if he didnt feel you could handle making the decision? i dont think that God would condemn us if we couldnt live with ourselves by bringing a child into the world, who will have a horrible life! You cannot adopt away diseases and birth defects. But you can chose to leave that Child in heaven, in a better place, or wherever you believe. Have you ever heard a newborn child screaming in the utmost pain and discomfort from being born to a drug addicted mother? Do you know what that sounds like or what it feels like to withdraw as an adult let alone a fragile brand new child? I know what it sounds like, I listened to a child scream bloody murder for the entire 4 days I was in the hospital after giving birth to my child. And for someone who doesnt have violent tendencies, I had all I could do not to rip my iv out of my harm and inflict some serious pain on that woman! I kept asking why would she have done that!

User - posted on 04/03/2010

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I am nuetral about it. Sometimes its not about love but about the unforseen relationships with the father. Also there are so MANY children that have been in foster care waiting for adoptions that had never came. So why contibute to the growth? Just like one can be against abortions one can say why get pregnant, we should adopt. I think abortions should not be for the public to decide by the individuals free will. What one person believfs are does not nessessarrly mean it should be for all but, what it is for them selves.

[deleted account]

Angie, you site the heartbeat as proof that life begins at conception. But no embryo or fetus can survive outside the uterus until at least 24 weeks, and even that is a long shot. A cell may begin growing at conception, but self-sustaining "life" isn't a certainty until birth.



That's why when life begins is a debate.



Sara, I don't know of any doctor who has the power to "force" a woman to abort. Just like in any medical situation, they share their medical opinion and then it's up to the individual to decide.

Sara - posted on 04/03/2010

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and another interesting fact you should be asking Doctors,
There are still a great deal of medical professionals who force parents to abort their babies if there is a confirmed diagnosis of trisomy 13, trisomy 18, trisomy 21, Cerebral Palsey, Spina Bifidea, and any other less than "typical" diagnosis. Most of these parents we're ProLife up until the doctors lie to them and tell them Their child will be in pain, their siblings will suffer greatly and their own lives will be absolutely miserable. I do not hate the people who choose to deny God's gift of raising a child who is differently abled, I hate the people who lie to them and trick them into aborting. My daughter is such a princess and so incredibly smart, talented and beautiful. She can light up a room with her smile and clear a room with her two year old tantrums. She loves to sing, she loves to dance, she loves all animals but even more she loves the park and all her friends. Watching her at the park, i know that in school she will have no problems meeting friends. There are at least 3 kids that come up to her each day and ask if she wants to play with them. Some older trying out the mothering instict, some her age who just need someone on the other side of the seesaw or to race down the slides with. I know she will never be alone in life. The friends she makes now may not always be in her life, but if it were up to them, they would be. She has such an amazing personality you can't help but fall head over heels in love with her.
In previous studies, there was an "termination" rate of 90% of diagnosed cases of Down Syndrome. Most of these families would not have terminated had they not been pressured every doctor visit that there is still time to terminate, no one will jugde you, its the right thing to do. Because of some medical issues like to arrise with having a child with DS, most of us who are pregnant need to go to the doctors once a week. Could you imagine the pain and stress hearing every week, I already scheduled your termination, you say you don't want it now, but wait until tuesday, you'll change your mind. Its appalling and heartbreaking.

Sara - posted on 04/03/2010

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Laura,

I am completely against aborting any child I may become pregnant with. My beautiful daughter was given very high odds of Down Syndrome while she was in utero. We refused an amnio because it carries riskes of miscarriage. I couldn't imagine losing my child because of something I chose to do. However, after she was born (and yes, with Trisomy 21) I asked to be put on Mirena after getting all of the facts. It makes your body think it is already pregnant, stopping fertilization and implantation. However, If for some reason an egg would become fertilized, mirena would not stop the pregnancy. It is just another form of birth control similar to the pill and the nuvaring. I have an extremely hard time remembering to take a pill, keep scheduled appointments for my 3 month shots and had complications with the ring. At this time I dont want to take away from my one child by having to raise another baby. When the time is right, I actually plan to adopt a DS baby out of a 3rd world institution. We may give birth to another child down the road, but right now its just not in our plans. and I actually thought that I had a miscarriage on the mirena several months ago and was complete heartbroken and felt betrayed by my doctors for "lying" to me. However, when I went in to get checked they found I actually had an infection in my uterus, and after sitting down and telling them I cant live with myself if i were to fertilize an egg and let it be released from my body. They reassured me that the odds of that happening are equal to it happening without a mirena. People have miscarriages all the time from nothing they do wrong, mirena does not increase those chances, thats just God.

ANA - posted on 04/03/2010

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I agree with you, I don't understand how can any woman under any circumstances can end with a life inside herself, and way less if she's already a mother...Beside my religious believes is my opinion as a woman and a mother. I think if you are not able to afford another kid, are other options than abortion.

Brandi - posted on 04/03/2010

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Im shocked how many women and men are okay with abortion as well . I hae t 2 Children , 3 and 19 months and an angel in heaven and with that being said I Have the Mirena . It is my Birth control. To me it is not abortion . I am not getting pregnant . Im going to extra distance to ensure I do not concieve again when My body isnt ready nor am I ready . I would love to have another baby . in the Future but now isnt the time . Mirena is not an abortion method to me . Im sorry if you feel it is . & Im sorry if you feel what Im saying is wrong and that I should maybe be happy that anytime I conceive would be great . It might infact if I were ready , My kids were ready , I were stateside again and my husband wasn't deploying .

Chelley - posted on 04/03/2010

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i am not religious but i am with you on abortion being wrong. i believe it is every womans right but it should not be acceptable for woman who who have just been careless with not using contraception and as for the age of abortion it should be bought right down it is totallyt unacceptable that you can abort a baby at 24 weeks gestation. if a baby is born at the age there is a great chance of survival with technology these days.

Angie - posted on 04/03/2010

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I've been to the mirena website. Making the uterine wall thin prevents a fertilized egg from implanting. Whether you want to believe that is abortion or not is your choice, but that is one of ways that mirena works. Pharmaceutical companies do not advertise that the thinning your uterine walls will make your body abort a fertilized egg because some people will consider this to be abortion and that is not good for marketing.

Samantha - posted on 04/03/2010

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i dont agree with ppl have abrotions its just not far on the baby, but i do agree that there are some relly gd resins for abrotion like childs have babys am tokeing 10years up & ppl who when been raped also ppl that have a something medicl rong with them that they could died carring a chid or giveing born thats no life for a child if there mum dieds giveing borth. i dont like it when ppl get an abortion just be couse the baby was not the sex they wonted. i would niver get an abortion i have a lovely wee boy he 14 months old & am expecting my secound baby in novmber x

Tracey - posted on 04/03/2010

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you all need to go to the mirena web site. it prevents pregnancy there is nothing about it that terminates a pregnancy. and women who use it use it to do just that prevent unwanted pregnancy. this is what the website says- * Thicken cervical mucus to prevent sperm from entering your uterus

* Inhibit sperm from reaching or fertilizing your egg

* Make the lining of your uterus thin

as for abortion you have to look at it this way many women out there are knowingly not using birth control or condoms and relying on abortion as there easy way out. and i think that it is not right. there are many women out there who would love to adopt that unwanted child because they themselves can not get pregnant. i always say if your gonna have sex think about the out come if you do not have birth control. the morning after pill and abortion is not the easy way out. if you aren't protecting your reproductive organs then you may want to refrain from intimacy. children are a blessing and they are our future.

Annemaree - posted on 04/03/2010

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all 9i can now saty is way ................ laura i think uve opened a can of worms or a can of whoop arse her lol shit girlfriend u were simply asking a question n some r getting right in .......koyoa and shannon i am a product of rape n i know how hard it must have been for my mum to look at a constant reminder of the arse hole who hurt her so bad but my mum luvs me ......and also even tho i am anty abortion i think it is up the to the woman like kristy says and really what gives anyone the right to take a life just because they are deformed or handicapped because it would make there life easier ....no......... i personly dont belive in abortion but not against anyone who is its a matter of your choice n i will not judge .laura once again great question n debate but seriously people stop abusing n judging oneanother

[deleted account]

I dont believe in abortions personally but there are circumstances in which i can understand a woman getting an abortion. as for the mirena it prevents pregnancy just like any contraceptive it is not meant to terminate a pregnancy.

Jessie - posted on 04/03/2010

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We shouldn't/can't judge a woman or know what she should do until we have been where she has. The fact is this is AMERICA, a country that prides itself on FREEDOM OF CHOICE, which includes a woman's right to choose what is right for her situation. If you don't like/believe in this great fact about this country then by all means high tail it out of here nobody will stop you.

Jess - posted on 04/03/2010

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Let me start by saying I am completely Pro Life ! If your big enough to have sex your big enough to deal with the consequences and I'm all for adoption. I currently am not on any birth control other than condoms and simply not having sex ! I was on the pill a few years ago and hated the thought of what it was doing to my body so I went off of it. I have no idea how the Mirena or any other birth control really works, other than the pill of course. But I believe life begins at conception, a women had all her choices before that moment !

Crystal-Lee - posted on 04/03/2010

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ok....so my opinion. i do not believe that using bc such as implanon, mirena, the pill, is abortion. i do not believe in abortions except in cases such as rape, sexual abuse etc. if u want to have unprotected sex then personally i think that u should deal with the consequences. but as for bc being a form of abortion i completely disagree. i have had 2 beautiful children and they werent planned, so now i have had the implanon for about 2yrs and it has been good to be able to be intimate with my partner without the wories of another unplanned pregnancy. birth control isnt really abortion in a lot of girls and some have to use it for medical reasons. so is bc abortion? in my opinion no. i would rather have control over when i am able to fall preggas rather than have another child that we may not be able to support than have an abortion. everyone is different but i truly believe that bc is a good thing and is stopping some abortions and unwanted children.

Jess - posted on 04/03/2010

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Ok, I have mirena and here are the reason I am ok with it. First because it works by preventing; ovulation, the egg from being fertilized, or the egg from implanting. Now I know many people would consider the last part to be abortion because the egg has been fertilized. The reason that I don't consider it to be abortion is because this is something every woman's body does naturally. If a women is regulary having unprotected sex the chances are she has had multiple fertilized eggs that have failed to implant. So MY BELIEF is that I am only helping this natual process along, and if this is considered abortion then I have had an abortion everytime I get my period because I have not tried to stop it from happening.

Alexis - posted on 04/03/2010

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Hi, I don't completely agree with you because I do use a birth control and looked into mirena, but I don't believe in abortion and I am not pro choice.

Rachael - posted on 04/03/2010

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Cherice if you read my post it said what if you already had two kids at home are you saying you would leave them with no mother just to have another baby when you have already been blessed with two??????

[deleted account]

Laura, as far as I'm concerned, abortion is a necessary evil.



No one "believes in abortion." Us Pro-Choicers believe in CHOICE! The whole debate is frustrating to me because the two sides aren't arguing about the same thing. Pro-Lifers believe life begins at conception. Well, if everyone believed that, then solving the argument would be easy! Of course we all believe murder is wrong! But since some of us question when life begins (many believe it doesn't happen until birth), then the whole point about murder doesn't carry the same weight.



Another reason I believe abortion should stay legal is that throughout history people have shown that outlawing activities only makes them more sordid and dangerous. Look what happened when America outlawed drinking. Did it stop? No... speakeasies became an underground phenomenon. When abortion was illegal, women had back-alley abortions and many died as a result.



There are a myriad of reasons why a woman might need an abortion. And no law can cover the "good" reasons versus the "bad" ones. It's up to the individual to decide what she can live with. And none of us can judge any woman for having to make that terrible choice.

Cherice - posted on 04/03/2010

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WoW..thats a good question & something to really think about...But you know what I would probley go ahead and risk my own life & have the baby. I mean Im not a selfish person, but I love children & dont really think I could find it in my heart to abort a baby. A child is a gift from god.

Rachael - posted on 04/03/2010

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or you were raped???? could you have the child and be reminded of that for the rest of your life and hate your child??? what if your rapist was your father, uncle brother????? sad but it does happen

Rachael - posted on 04/03/2010

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and in saying that what if you had a medical problem and your doctor recommended you abort??? you have two kids and a husband at home would you chose to end your own life and leave your devistated family behind or abort???

Cherice - posted on 04/03/2010

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I got Mirena after my daughter was born & for me knowing that I wasn't ready to have another child due to financial matters, being a single parent & health reasons (abnormal bleeding & due to the abnormal bleeding I've had to have 2 blood transfusions). This was my choice to have Mirena put in & I find that it was a responsible decision based upon my situation at the time. After 5 years it was removed, but once again due to abnormal bleeding/blood transfusions I had to have it put back in as it once again was my choice per my own situation & health reasons. I wouldn't say that it's a form of abortion, what it is.....is my own decission that shows I'm being responsible. It shows that I'm taking responsibility as an adult, single parent & someone who's not ready to have another child & will protect myself from getting pregnant & bringing another child into this cruel world where times are tough for not just me but for everyone. So basically I'm choosing to be responsible for my own actions.

Cherice - posted on 04/03/2010

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Thank you very much as I agree with you 100% on this. Many of us use Mierna for health purpose's not for birth control reasons. Thank you very much for your post.

Rachel - posted on 04/03/2010

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Hello all.

Personally, I do believe that abortion isn't right. It certainly isn't what God intended for us to do. However, God also didn't intend for rape to be a common thing, which it sadly is. I don't think it's right to have an abortion, but it's not up to me to say what everyone else should or shouldn't do. I know that everyone has their own set of beliefs, which is the freedom we are all given.

One thought about breastfeeding is that it is a natural type of contraceptive, whereas, pills, IUD's, etc. are not. I see that as being something completely different. If our own bodies are not ready for pregnancy, then good. If we do something to change that, and take away the results that often come from being sexually active, then not so good.

My husband and I have been blessed to be having a surprise baby. After this baby is born, we will be breastfeeding. This is best for mom and baby, and it also works for family planning. If, for some reason, this doesn't work out the way we think it will, then we will be blessed to have another.

I also believe that a life is there from conception. True, many women have miscarriages. There can be many reasons for this. Mom may not be ready, baby may have some deformity. But this is the natural response to something being wrong. Again, I think that this is so different from doing/placing something to MAKE a miscarriage happen. I also think that tampering with hormones isn't right. We are playing God, when we really shouldn't be. I know that there are circumstances that necessitate this, but for everyone to be given hormones to do this, or that... it can cause so many more problems.

Again, I have my beliefs, and others will have different beliefs. We are all free to choose what we believe.

[deleted account]

I have said plenty but this just came to mind.

I personally wouldnt abort but in the same token i don't think i could adopt out.

Because what happens in the future? really i don't think that is fair either on the child or the mother i know from alot of cases that adopted children feel abandoned by their real mothers event hough yes they are in a safe loving environment with a great family life. For the many yrs i dont think i could handle knowing that i have a child out there that i couldnt support i would hate to always be wondering what could have been.

Maybe i feel that i am the best person to raise any of my children and thats where this comes from!

Jaimie - posted on 04/03/2010

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it comes down to what is safe for the parent, and the circumstance.

perhaps someone was in a situation where the unborn child was a result of an assult.or perhaps the parents were using contraception and fel pregnant anyway, but knew they would not be able to take care of the child.

i know there are other options, however. you dont know that its against their beliefs and not against the situation they are in.

personally i could never abort a child, however some people may not feel they have any other option.

for this reason, i believe that although its not my choice.. i accept it may be someone else's, and dont judge them on it.

Kristy - posted on 04/03/2010

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Stephanie,

I honestly don't know what i would do, but i can say i hope i can support her whatever decision was made. I was bringing this point up for those who belive there is no reason for abortion and that abortion is murder. I belive we all need to have a little compassion and relise not everything is black and white. and if you belive a life is a life then it shouldnt matter what the circumstances are or how that child was concieved. I am pro choice because i think if we give one person the right to choose we must give everyone the right to choose regardless of circumstance. I again could never do it myself but i belive no one but God has the right to judge anyone else (human nature or not) I dont understand how anyone can belive abortion is ok for a young girl who is raped but not a older woman who is raped. you are either pro choice or not.

Jenelle - posted on 04/02/2010

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Davine...I have posted many times in this "debate" and I think it is getting beyond ridiculous. But I had this thought from reading your post...especially being raised a strict Mormon myself. I still am a practicing Mormon, but am not so Naive to the "real world" to know that stuff happens. I appreciate your comments, and I think you hit it right on the money. I choose to teach my children about sex as being not only for procreation but for a husband and wife to express their love to each other. And it is no secret in our house that my husband and I have sex, and the kids are fully aware of it!! And that we shower together. We teach them that there is nothing to be ashamed of, by doing that when you are married. But that part goes with my beliefs and religion. But they also know that they have choices and that they are responsible for those choices. It is late, and to make a long thought short I like what you said, how you said it, and believe it to be true!! God sees a much bigger picture than any of us could ever dream of seeing, and it is not our place to judge another woman's decision in the case of rape and medical purposes. "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone!" Thank you for your comment!!

Nikkole - posted on 04/02/2010

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Mirena is a type of birth control, so are you saying that women who us birth control are committing abortion? Bc i am on birth control, i want more kinds but not right now. I am pro- choice i dont think i or any body has the right to tell some what to do with there body. I am sorry if that up sets and body or makes them mad, but that is how i feel

Gina - posted on 04/02/2010

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Jodi,how dare u say a raped woman'SHOULD' keep her child to term, then give it up for adoption.You chose what every woman 'should' do. 'Don't judge what you can't understand, you Never walked in MY shoes.

Koyoa - posted on 04/02/2010

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im srry but i simply cant agree with that i have been raped n even though i didnt get pregnant i know i could never look at a constant reminder of what i went through cuz i know when i looked into that babys eyes all i would see is the man that took my sense of security from me i just couldnt do it some women may find comfort in that but i know i wouldnt

i also know that im on both sieds of the fence witht this i have had an aborthin before n i have 2 boys that i couldnt live without but i have the merena n even though i hate it i know i dont want more kids right now so it beats going 2 planned parenthood if something ever goes wrong i really dont wanna ever have an abortion again but i cant say that i wouldnt

[deleted account]

Renae, I totally support you. I think it was very courageous to talk about your abortion considering this is not a very pro-choice conversation!
Many, many people support our right to choose, thank God!
Just wanted to share my gratitude for your honesty.

Renae - posted on 04/02/2010

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Wow. I am obviously going to be in the minority here, and can't be as well spoken as some before me but feel compelled to comment. I am pro choice. I have had an abortion (and shame on you who think it is an easy decision.) I also have used the "PlanB" pill. I have 6 children, the oldest just turned 11. I chose to have every one of them, and feel every woman should have that choice. Sometimes circumstances are not in your control. I can't use most forms of bc, and my husband and I sometimes struggle to support the children we have. I refuse however to "keep my skirt down and my knees closed." Physical intimacy is an important part of a marriage. I don't believe I am a murderer, and don't really care that most of you do. You have never walked in my shoes.

Jodi - posted on 04/02/2010

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Since my daughter is waking up and it's nearing midnight, this will be my last post for some time.

I never said anything about taking anyone's choice away. Reguardless of the law, that choice will always be there for them and they are free to choose it. I support anyone's right to make whatever choice on anything, I just don't think all decisions are the right one.

As for not trying to understand...Someone very close to me is the product of incestual rape. He was given up for adoption, and because of that, he is alive today to be very dear to me.

Life is full of hard situations and tough choices, sometimes the easy way out isn't always the right way.

I will reiterate one last time, we all pass judgement on nearly everyone we encounter, without trying to and whether we admit it or not. I'm off for probably the weekend, but feel free to message me, I enjoy a good debate now and again.

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