Help...My 15 month old won't sleep in his room without me being there and still refuses to give up a bottle thru the night and before bed.

Erin - posted on 03/14/2009 ( 8 moms have responded )

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Help...My 15 month old won't sleep in his room without me being there and still refuses to give up a bottle thru the night and before bed. Which means he is completely soaked half way thru the night. Our 3rd baby will be here in June and unfortunately all three children will be in the same bedroom temporarily until we buy a house...what do I do to get Cooper to sleep better thru the night in hs room with Cameron (and not me) and how do I break him of his bottle at this point. My husband is the only one of us working and doesn't have a lot of time to help me with this due to his work schedule. I need help with these two things before the new baby arrives!!! Any advice?

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I agree with Deborah and Lisa. I also used the same method on both of my kids. I did it more like Lisa's method though with gradually increasing the time spent letting them cry, but I never went past 15 minutes...personal preference. The point is to let your kid know that you are still there for them, but that it is time for bed. No amount of screaming or crying will get him his way.
As far as the bottle goes, does he drink a lot? My son needed (and still needs even at 4 years old) a drink when he goes to bed. Usually just a cup on the dresser now, but we use to put him to sleep with 2 sippy cups of water cause he would wake up thirsty and wanting more water. He also soaked himself in the night. I mentioned it to his Doc and she was concerned that he might have a type of diabetes where the child will consume large amounts of liquid do to a huge thirst. I don't want to scare you, but the doc said basically they will pee themselves into dehydration if they don't have constant fluids. My son was tested and found to be ok. You may want to mention something to your doc just in case.

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I've acutally seen an episode of Super Nanny use the "Back to Bed" method (i think that is what she called it) that Deborah mentioned. And a very close friend of mine had to use it on her toddler. It works great, but it is just difficult for a few nights.

Andrea - posted on 03/16/2009

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Erin- I'd say if you do this, move the 4 year old to your room on a mattress on the floor until it's done. That way he doesn't have to attempt to sleep through the screaming. If he gets out of bed, you calmly put him back in bed.

Deborah - posted on 03/16/2009

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Erin ... the method is going to be hard on everyone for the first few days but don't let that pursued you not to do it. Your other son is old enough to understand what you are doing and he can help by not getting up when your younger son is crying. Also ... do you close their bedroom door? if not you might want to have a gate to block him to keep him in the room.

And with him being in a bed it does change a few things up...If he gets out of bed and out of his bedroom then you need to direct him back to bed and always in a calm voice tell him it is bed time. You do that twice shortening your response to bed time on the second time. After that you never say a word and just direct him back to the bed. He will finally give in and accept it. Again, it will take a few nights but he will accept it as his routine. Be sure to have a routine for his bedtime. If you read to him... read a book to him and say your good nights (just remember short and sweet) and leave the room. If he cries ... follow the first advice we gave you (the length is your choice and your comfort level). If he gets up and leaves his room use the above information... but regardless of who he is sharing the room with it has to been done b/c with the third baby coming you need to have set the routine for the middle child.

Erin - posted on 03/16/2009

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Thank you all so much, but I still have two areas of concern... #1: Cooper is no longer sleeping in a crib because he can climb out,  so will this method work with him sleeping in a toddler bed? And #2: He also shares his bedroom with his almost 4 year old brother and soon with the new baby also...will this pose to be a problem with this method?  I just need to break him of these 3 habits before the new baby arrives in June. 

Lisa - posted on 03/15/2009

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I agree with Deborah on tough love.  We tried the method of "cry it out"... on the third night, I could lay my daughter down, turn on her music, tell her I love her, and she now falls asleep on her own without a peep.  The first 2 nights were HORRIBLE, and I felt SO BAD to hear my daughter scream for all that time.  But SO WORTH IT.  Just try it, and stick with it those first few nights, no matter how bad you feel.  Have a husband/boyfriend/sister/friend there for support if needed, but it was SO WORTH IT for us!



We went with this method-



lay down, cry for 5 minutes, go in and talk to her (without picking her up), leave.



Cry for 10 minutes, go in and talk to her, leave.



Cry for 15 mintues, go in and talk to her, leave.



Cry for 20 minutes, go in and talk to her, leave.



**At this point, we stuck with 20 minutes between each brief visit.  She was usually asleep by the 2nd 20 minute cry session!!



Good luck!

Deborah - posted on 03/15/2009

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I will be the evil one here and please take my advice or not but you are going to have to have some tough love. Put him in the room and walk away, closing the door. Yes, he is going to cry and the first few nights will be awful. You let him cry for about 15 minutes, then go in and don't pick him up just shhhish him, pat him on the back for a minute, leave the room. Do this pattern until he goes to sleep. By the third day he will have no problems falling asleep on his own. It is good for them to cry. At this point he has trained you to be at his peck and call. You need to reverse that.

Now for the bottle ... yep tough love on that one. Set the ground rules. He has his last bottle 2 hours before bed and don't give in. Let him throw his tantrum. When he realizes he is not getting his way he will get over it. He won't be scarred by setting some rules and following through.

Carrie - posted on 03/14/2009

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Although my 15 month old is sleeping through the night...getting him to sleep is still a struggle. I had hoped by this time I could just say "good night" and he would put himself to sleep...but I still have to stay in the room untilhe's out...otherwise he cries. anyway, sorry I couldn't be much help, but I'm going through it too....I'll be curious to see what others have to say about it...



good luck



Carrie

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