Help My 3 year old challenges me all day.

Katie - posted on 01/21/2010 ( 5 moms have responded )

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I have a 3 year old a 19 month old and I also do dacare for another 3 year old and an infant. My 3 year old always wants to be the boss and will whine and fight until he gets his way with the other kids. He also challenges everything i ask him to do. For example getting dressed or washing hands...he says i can't do it and will have a break down that can last for hours if i would let it. If someone says they have to go potty he says I have to go first or I will pee my pants and then he starts crying... My two boys are also daredevils that get into everything and are not affraid of anything. I feel like I am always in a power struggle with him and I am tempted to bring him to another daycare. He tests my patients constantly!! I often go to bed in tears hoping that i will be a better mom the next day and that my son will stop theese behaviors. I will take any advice, I am feeling desperate!!!

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Maggie - posted on 01/21/2010

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I hear you my daughter challenges me and questions everything and with the clothes boy its an everyday affair, some days are better than others, but my daughter whos 4 has an issue with sharing her toys and talking nice to others. Like you said shes great with other people. I notice when I prepare her for the day and talk about what I expect from her and if she does a great job she gets a gum or a popsicle when the kids leave. It helps us because she loves those things and I don't give them to her often. But Ive notice an change. Im actually very proud of her she did a really good job today. Well I hope this works.

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Lindsay - posted on 01/21/2010

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You are not alone. My 3 year old has been a terror the last few days. He is testing his boundries and asserting his independence. I have found that as long as we are firm and consistant with him and keep him busy he is better behaved. It's also hard in the winter months because he can't be outside. He also acts out more when tired or hungry so planning ahead on my part also helps.

Christy - posted on 01/21/2010

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Kids will always test their parents more, its just part of their nature. Both of my parents were in the military, so I was raised very strictly. Now that I am a parent I have a better understanding and respect for my parents now than when I was growing up. Its a line that every parent needs to learn to walk. Unfortuntaly for us, we can never truly no the results until they are full grown and on their own! Sometimes life is not fair. :)

Katie - posted on 01/21/2010

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Thanks Christy!! My husband and I usually send him to his room. He is very stubborn and will scream and cry for a very long time. We have tried ignoring him, taking things away,and lots of positive reinforcement. He is so good for other people..except me?

Christy - posted on 01/21/2010

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Whoever said that two year olds were horrible did not have a three year old. Somedays I think my daughter whois 3 going on 13 finds great joy in pushing all my buttons at once. What I discovered is that she is just testing her bounderies and my tolerance level. I had to step up on the discipline with her everytime she would push at those boundaries. My daughter would also say had to use the potty everytime someone else would go to the bathroom. I just explained to her that she could go as soon as that person was done and to wait by the bathroom door until they come out. 9 times out of 10 she did not even have to go. My suggestion to you is everytime he throws one of his fits isolate him from the other, place him in a seperate room, and tell him when he is done he can come out. You just might need to be more firm with him. Explain to him what you expect from him, what the rules are, and what will happen everytime he breaks those rules. Be consistent. It may take sometime, but he will eventually settle down. Good luck!

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