HELP. My 8 year old son won't stop lying...

XLizx - posted on 05/06/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )

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My son who is almost 9 has been lying for a few years now. He has been through medication and counseling on this issue (yes followed through til counselor said there was nothing more they could do). I feel nothing has worked. He is number 2 of 4. Both his father and I have been together since we were teens. I am not poor but I am not rich either. My husband and I do not even tell white lies (IE : look tell them i am not home when someone calls). I have taken all privileges away.. I even have a chart much like a behavior chart but he gets a check every time he lies i make him put a check mark down so he can visually see how many times he is lying. He has 7 checks today alone and that was just done from the time he was home after school til bed time. And he argues tooth and nail that he is not lying and why he isn't. I even have him on camera doing things and he lies about doing them. When I showed him he laughed and said that he doesn't know but that wasn't him (when you can clearly see that it is). I have even brought this issue up with his teachers to see if there was anything going on at school.

The things he is lying about is from big things to small things. Lies about homework, lies about what he ate, lies about doing his chores, lies about his sisters, tells you the sky is green when he knows it is blue and will argue about it.. and his response is to blame everyone but himself. He is also being "sneaky" when he lies. I asked him to sweep the floor, so he just sweeps it behind the trash can or asked him to put his clothes away (which were folded when handed to him) so he unfolds some of them throws them in the drawer and puts a few folded on top so it looks like they are folded or throws them under his bed and says one of his sisters did that, and he chooses the one who hasn't been home all day.

I understand he may be starving for attention but I have given him more attention than anyone else. I am not too strict and I am not too laid back. I have given him the rules and even made him write them out so he understood what they were. His only response is it wasn't him even when I have him on camera. I am not too sure this is a phase and drs are not helping me. Any advice please.

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Jodi - posted on 05/07/2013

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Instead of having a chart where he records how often he lies, have you considered using it as a positive reinforcement chart for the time he tells the truth. You can't tell me that he NEVER tells the truth. What attention do you give him for telling the truth? or do you only give him attention when he tells lies?

If he has seen counsellors, what have they said about the issue (other than that they can't help him - which is a total cop out and I'd consider getting a second opinion).

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