HELP! Our neighbor treats me like a babysitting service!

CMI1973 - posted on 08/28/2014 ( 4 moms have responded )

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Hi Mom...I need some advice! We have lived in our neighborhood for 2 years now. I have an 8 year old son and a 5 year old daughter. At the beginning of the summer, my daughter made friends with the little girl across the street. I was SO excited for her to have a little friend. The little girl is 5, but not yet in school and my daughter is starting grade 1. My daughter is allowed out in our yard and I will check on her constantly. My son is allowed to go down the street as long as I can see him while he walks to his friends house and not allowed to roam. He has to stay at said friends house until I watch him walk back up or walk him home. So it started of great....my daughter would go over and play in the yard with the little girl and some days they would play here. Not in the house as I will not allow my children in a neighbors house that I have not met and I spoke to the Mom, introduced myself and made sure that my daughter was checked on and not allowed to leave the yard and I would walk down and check on her constantly while at the neighbors and little girl's Mom would do the same. As time passed....things changed. Little girl started playing here more often (everyday) . Neighbor has 2 sons as well. One is 12 and one is 10 with mild Cerebral Palsy. He goes to school with my son but were not friends as her son is not well liked due to a VERY bad temper and name calling. She brought her son over and he and my 8 year old hit it off. I allowed them to go inside to play video games wile I supervised due to his physical limitations. My son is very kind and compassionate and I explained his medical issues and they played well together. I was worried due to the bad temper and curse words and let the boy know my rules. The 10 year old HATES his big brother and prefers to play up here. Long story short....Mom brings both kids over here at 1 pm EVERY SINGLE DAY and drops them off!!! I have them from 1-5 then we have supper and she brings them back at 6-8. AND I MEAN EVERY DAY. I feel like a prisoner in my own home. I don't know what to do. My kids adore her kids. They are good kids but do not have the same habits as my kids. They walk in without knocking, go into my fridge...ask for a drink and food (because Mom doesn't give them lunch because she says they won't eat supper if they eat lunch) My son has spent half the summer playing video games because this is all his new friend can do. The Mom makes it VERY clear she doesn't like my kids to have any other friends. Another little girl came to play one day and I had to hear how upset her daughter was all the next day even though I sat out in the yard and watched her daughter play happily with the little girl along with mine. Then just this week my son invited a school mate over to play for 1:00. Well neighbor boy showed up first. Then school mate. The MOM near had a fit. Told me all kinds of lies about school mate (and she's NEVER met him) says her son hates him and chases him out of yard because school mate in mean and curses. This school mate is sweet and shy and polite (unlike her son and only 8 as well) The following day she was in my driveway and school mate was walking down the road to come and play and she told him the boys weren't coming out (of MY house) so I went in and told my son that so and so was here but sent back home. Her son was upset and wanted him to come play! I told him his mother told me he didn't like him and he said it wasn't true. Our kids do martial arts 2 nights a week together. Tonight I had to run out to get school supplies and she let her kids badger me to come for ice cream and then let them get upset that I wasn't going to be home for them to come and play afterwards. I told her today I was crazy busy cleaning, packing for the long weekend trip we are taking, school supplies (plus I am in the middle of MAJOR renovations) and she STILL brings them over!!! My kids have knocked a total of 2 times this summer to ask them to come up. If my kids knock..it's to invite them over..not to invite themselves in!! They know not to bug the mom, ask for food or drink. I have taken our kids away 2 weekends since meeting them and the guilt trip she lays about how upset her kids were, how much they cried, how mad they were that they couldn't play with my kids...it's UNREAL! I am not sure how to handle it considering we live right across the street, my kids adore her kids and they attend school together!!! HELP!! My whole summer has been spent babysitting for free. I can't get anything done because her daughter needs constant supervision. Have I mentioned major renovations??? I think my hair is a little more grey now!

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Cesi - posted on 08/28/2014

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Just say no! Kids cant play today because im busy sorry another day lock your doors n ignore her m her kids if she does not take no for an answer and yes kids will have feelings hurt but kids need to understand parents have to do other important things besides being a babysitter and the kids see each other at school so they are still friends no big deal they are not living together but if you keep babysitting they might as well move in together so stand your ground n say no to the kids neighbor n go shopping n remodel your house!

Jackie - posted on 09/05/2014

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Wow…she's unbelievable. At the end of the day take her kids home and tell her you won't be able to look after them anymore. Pick one to two days a week the kids can play if they want to stay friends. She is taking advantage of you big time!

Michelle - posted on 08/29/2014

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Do what Cesi has said and if she still doesn't get the message then present her with a bill for all the babysitting you have done. She sounds like the type of person who needs it in black and white so you can't hint with her. You do need to be firm.

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Tamberlin - posted on 08/29/2014

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ohh no. First off its gotten out of hand if she drops her kids off she know exactly what she is doing. If i were you I would sit down with the mother and let her know exactly how you feel. it sounds like she is controlling. she see that time as her free time and she think that you dont mind because you havent said anything about it. just let her know how you feel.

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