Help with my 31/2 year old...

Michelle - posted on 09/22/2009 ( 3 moms have responded )

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I have a 31/2 year old little girl who just started preschool this year. She is going 2 days per week...4 hours each day. She has been doing great with it so far. My concern is I am 35 weeks pregnant and I'm not sure how she is going to handle staying at school knowing I am home with the new baby. We have been having problems with her going to my mom's (which she never wanted to leave before!). Now we can't even get her to go to her house. All she says is that she wants mommy. She is supposed to stay with my mom when the new baby is born (during the hospital stay) so my husband can be with me. I don't know how to handle this "separation anxiety" she is starting to go through....any suggestions would be great!!!!

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Michelle - posted on 09/23/2009

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every child reacts differantly all my kids behaved differantly all i can say is prepare her as much as possable and include her in what preperations you have left let her pick out cloths for bub to come home in and talk to her about staying with your mum and how shell vist you &bub and how you need her help you with bub she is feeling insecure about things which is natural you need to stop worrying it will all work out good luck

Tanya - posted on 09/23/2009

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When my second child was born my then 4 yo was in preschool,,,, i thought i would have a ton of trouble getting him to go but i found it was surprisingly easy,,,,and on days that upon leaving him after drop, seemed like was going to be a problem then i would just stay a bit longer and read him a story and play with him,,,,let him show off his baby brother then i would tell him i had to go and do some jobs but would be back after lunch to collect him and for him to have lovely time talking to his little friends about his new baby!

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I haven't dealt with the situation myself, but it reminds me of something I was given related to child separation anxiety. It was a brochure I got somewhere and it suggested for the parent to analyze their own feelings first. Quote from the brochure:

"When dropping the child at the location, stay cheerful and positive even when the child starts crying. Say reassuring things such as "Mommy loves you, have a good time and I will return soon." Reflecting or emphasizing the child's natural feelings of anxiety only reinforces their feelings that something must be wrong."

"When picking up the child be sure to ask them engaging questions about their activities. If they cry or complain about your absence, do not dismiss the feelings but remember not to reinforce them. Responses such as "I missed you too but tell me about all the fun things you did today" helps them move past the anxiety."

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