Hi, I have been working my behind off selling stuff on ebay for a little independence and some cash to spend on fun family stuff. Now my husband says we have to use it for day to day expenses and I feel like my dreams are being crushed. Also, he says I don't do anything when I feel like I never have a spare minute. Any ideas on how to deal with this?

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HEIDI - posted on 01/30/2013

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I agree with the other ladies here..so typically male..another thing you could do is,if you're doing well on your Ebay sales,try and split it in half,don't let him know exactly how much you have made or are making in profits,open a acoount he knows nothing about..may seem a little sneaky,but stimes it's best for a woman to have a "what if" account...all the best.

Amy - posted on 01/29/2013

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take 15 min before he gets home and wipe down the bathrooms, pick up toys, & start a load of laundry and have dinner figured out. It will still leave the majority of he day to do what you want and he will see clean when he gets home and think that's what you've been doing all day. its so funny how they think since your staying home that's all you should be doing all day. My husband started acting the same way so I started doing this and he hasn't complained yet. its funny how all they see is the surface. I used to spend hours doing the floors organizing cabinets and he would make comments as if I wasn't doing enough.

Michelle - posted on 01/29/2013

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Tell him that he's supposed to earn enough to run the household if he says you don't do anything.

Maybe you shouldn't do anything for a couple of days and then he might realize that you do everything to make his home life comfortable. Just look after the children but leave him to fend for himself.

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Kayla - posted on 01/31/2013

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I am glad to hear that he apologized! I don't think many people realize how much work it actually is to be a stay at home mom. It's not even just husbands or males that don't understand, I find that some other moms that work outside the home don't understand it either. Maybe they think we sit at home and eat candy and watch soaps all day haha Let me tell you, I sure don't have time to sit down, let alone open a candy!! I have an old jar that I put money into whenever I earn it from doing whatever. We have 2, almost 3 kids, and my boyfriend and I made the decision when we started having kids that I would be a stay at home mom. So he has always worked really hard and made enough to support the whole family, and not a day goes by that I am not thankful for that. I admire that he has that commitment, and he admires what I do around the house all day. We respect each other immensely, and we both appreciate what the other does for our family :)

Karen - posted on 01/30/2013

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Hi, Thanks for all your responses and great advice :o) He actually came back a couple of days later and really apologized for being out of line, phew!

My Mom and best friend also recommended tidying up the surface stuff and that seems to help.

I would definitely recommend having a separate account too - I don't feel quite so dependent now I have something in my own name, even if it isn't a huge amount.

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