Hosting in-laws while husband is away

Zoe - posted on 07/25/2014 ( 7 moms have responded )

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My in-laws are planning on visiting me and my son while my husband is out of town for work. I feel stressed out about the situation. I am fine with them visiting when my husband is around to help out, but it was overwhelming to me last time they came to visit when my husband was away. I was tired of having to plan for meals and communicate to them about my schedules and plans…etc. My mother in law would offer to help at times, but I feel awkward to order her do things around the house as we have different habits and I would have to reposition things afterwards. They usually stay for over a week too…and it makes me cringe just thinking about their visiting as I am a stay at home mom and that's a lot of time with them in the house. I once mentioned my discomfort to my husband and he thought that I had to learn how to communicate with my in laws better. It make me wonder if I just have poor people skills and if I am not a good wife. Would you host your in laws when your husband is away?

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Leslie - posted on 07/29/2014

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That or since they obviously treat it like a vacation then maybe they can stay in a hotel or something, though only if they flat out refuse to help out before they come. I dont know, its always easier said then done, I dont say half the stuff I should actually say to my mom, i dont think any of us do.

Leslie - posted on 07/29/2014

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Ya that is kind of rude to not even attempt to make a meal for an entire week, a weekend okay, but a week is kind of nuts. They may expect it if you just do it, maybe ask if they could do a supper or something from a special recipe they like? Well, maybe two suppers at least! You can always just get food for lunches etc andbtell them to help themselves rather thennmakong food for them, thats what I would do and something my mil always does if we happen to be visiting around lunch.

Zoe - posted on 07/29/2014

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And no, they are not coming to help but spending time with grandson. When my son was born, my husband convinced me to let my in laws come so that they could help with house chores. My husband ended up cooking all the meals for two weeks, plus laundry…etc. So, never again if I am having another baby.

Zoe - posted on 07/29/2014

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My husband's work requires him to travel sometimes on short notice. Last time my in-laws already had tickets to come visit when my husband got the notice. This time they are coming because my husband is getting an award and his work pays for families to travel to the ceremony. My in-laws would like to come even though my husband will be out of town for work and will not attend the ceremony anyway (so that they can come visit their grandson).

Mostly, I am just tired of preparing three meals daily for a week+. In the past, I tried running errands and getting out of the house and let them watch my son at home…but I always came home to make meals for all during lunch/dinner, partly because I feel I should make food for my child and not leave the job to them. They never offer to prepare a meal, and it's always that I am making some food for me and son and feel that it's polite to ask if they would like some (even though I was so tired of feeding them already!) I also shop for all the food, so maybe they feel like I volunteer to take care of it all?

Leslie - posted on 07/27/2014

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Myvils arent the problem, for me its my mom. My mom doesnt need to be asked to do things, she just does them, while making "remarks"...equally annoying! Ive learned that when it comes to people staying at the house that if theyre helping out they going to do it their way unless you tell them otherwise, and even then it wont be quite right. Your best bet in that regard is to just let it go and rearrange things once people leave. As far as having the il's for the full week maybe you could arrange some activities of interest for you all? Thingsblike going for a little trek one afternoon, going to the craft store(or sporting good store, whatever your interest), going out for dinner or eating in, a special breakfast that maybe you mil or fil can be in charge of. Its always a little uncomfortable having non blood relations around so dont think that you're a bad wife or dil for stressing out.

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