House is a Mess! OVER WHELMING!!

Sharon - posted on 05/22/2013 ( 2 moms have responded )

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My dh is always complaining what a mess our house is? He says he can't stand it but doesn't much about it? I'd try to do something but it takes 2? We have a 7 yr. old in school, and a 11 yr old that has severe CP that has nursing and therapy at home 16/7. I just don't know where to start? And, he doesn't it't help when he yells and screams about it? It causes stress for all of us? What do you? I hope it does not come between us?

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Maria - posted on 05/23/2013

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Hi Sharon, first of all I just wanna say you sound like an awesome mom, more power to you! You seem like a strong woman, but feeling under stress and a bit overwhelmed
We as women take on too much...especially when we become moms, remember to take a break, and breathe... Don't feel pressured to have a Top notch clean home, those who do, either have nannies or family members to help with extra house duties, alone a person can only do so much...
I'm a mom of 3 boys and I have come to terms the house will never be as Clean and organized as you or your husband would like...
In your case you have your hands full with a special needs child in need of constant love and attention/support. By all means don't feel guilty and if your husband has issues with the house tell him to take a day off and spend it at home and you take a day off and relax then lets see how he feels about the house? I also get a feeling it might not be the house issue, he might be feeling stressed with something as well and is just picking a fight?? Some men I tell you they just don't get it... We women work 24/7 non stop and they expect to come home and still get pampered, catered too. I on this dept. can't complain much, as I bitch all day long especially when it's been a crazy hectic tiring day, my husband helps with a lot, but that too has come a long way... When we had our first child he used to come home and ask me soooo what have you done all day today? I literally snapped at him and said well lets see, number one, our child is clean, fed and happy second I managed to get dinner going and some laundry done, how about that? Then the next few days I stopped doing stuff around the house and slowly started up again... He has never asked me again so what have you done today as he could see for himself... I too started getting out a bit for a walk in the evenings and weekends and he realized fast its not easy to balance it all children, house work, outside job/career ... Again take it easy, don't let your husband put you down... Next time he complains for ie. floors are dirty, hand him a broom and tell him, be my guest. :) and if he continues complaining time to access the whole relationship and make a choice to be happy!

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