How am I supposed to deal with off the wall screaming temper tantrums???

Erin - posted on 11/27/2011 ( 4 moms have responded )

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Hi Ladies....I am a new mother and i was just wondering if someone could give me some advice as to what i should do when my daughter starts to throw a nutty when she doesnt get her way....i have no clue and a VERY short fuse.

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Erin - posted on 11/28/2011

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Thank you guys these are all very helpful posts but it was my fault that i forgot to mention she is only 6 months old...has anyone else had a 6month old flip out on them? This seems very young and since she is starting very young am i in for it when she gets older? What ive been doing is redirecting her to something else and this seems to work for now but its not possible to do in every situation. At night when she has her bath in the sink she refuses to sit (she also refuses to sit at any other time of the day) because all she wants to do is stand up and hold onto the faucet n lick it LOL...so this starts the second i put her in the sink, i try to wash her up as fast i can so that she can then stand up and have her fun time with Mr. Faucet but as im putting her in the sink she stiffens out her legs straight like a cat would if you were trying to put a cat in the bathtub....LOL....and when i finally do get her to sit she start grunting real mean like shes trying to poop then it escalates into a screaming fit until i let her stand up...then she just laughs and blows spit bubbles.

Melissa - posted on 11/27/2011

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UGH Im dealing with that as well with my 20 mth old. He is strating to really understand thins so this is what we have been doing: I am finding ignoring helps, in some cases the threat of time out or a time out works great. Yelling makes it way worse for me. When he tries to throw himself on the ground i help him so he doesn't hurt himself then walk away...

Its the public fits that are so hard for me...I mean there is no real way to give a time out leaving is what he wants so that doesn't make sense to me...Today we went to eat and he was ready to go before we got our food and just fussing like crazy I took him outside and wouldn't let him walk around I just held him and told him he needs to stop and let us eat...he finally calmed down and said he was sorry and was an angle from then on....ugh so stressful though! Just try very very hard to not get upset or impatient back it only makes it worse. Just tell her what she did wrong and silently take her to time out...I don't know so far its working for us! When we get him out he says sorry.

Kimberly - posted on 11/27/2011

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Just wondering how old is your daughter? When they are younger you can usually snap them out of it by bringing something else to there attention as she gets older you can use words to explain not to touch things or that they are too dangerous to play with. My daughter is two and she can through the best tanny, but we and not tell he straight out 'no' when possible. We try to explain things so like she cant have the choc right now because tea is ready but afterwards, or its too hot to play outside now but after sleeps we can. If its something that she cant have we explain that she cant have scissors or took the bbq because it could hurt her and only adults can use/touch these thing. We do have those when no amount of talking will get through and I usually end up putting her in her cot and closing the door for a few minutes until she realizes that screaming is getting her no where, and gives me time to hide the thing that is causing the meltdown. You will learn as you go what works/ doesnt work and as long as you remember that crying screaming is a way for them to express there frustration( even though we dont like it) the dont have the words to say what they want. If you really feel your going to lose it put her in the cot and walk away, call a friend, go for a shower or outside, remember to take a step back and breath! Hope this gives you some ideas

Melony - posted on 11/27/2011

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The biggest things you can do are stay calm and DO NOT give in. They react to your anxiety and frustration. When my son decides it;s a good time to throw a fit i grab him and hug him tight, rub his back, and just repeatedly tell him to calm down, it's ok, mommy's here. It may take a little while but they slowly begin to calm down until eventually they are just sitting/rocking with you. Once she's calm you can explain to her why getting upset like that wasn't appropriate, and that is not how you act when you don't get something you want. In the end it just makes her tired, and she still does not get what she wants so she will eventually realize that tantrums are useless. It's also based on age. Toddlers are a big ball of emotion, and there could be hundreds of things that have accumulated in her mind over the day that eventually led to the meltdown.
I feel your pain and frustration, just be patient and she will soon follow your lead :)

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