How can I bond with my soon to be step-daughter?

Nicole - posted on 06/25/2012 ( 6 moms have responded )

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My fiance and I have been engaged for 5 months now and just recently told his children who unfortunatly we do not get to see very often. I have two boys of my own who just adore their soon to be father. I love his children very much they are so sweet. However when they come over to spend time with us, his daughter who is 6 doesnt want to spend time with me, and his son who is 2 does okay. What can I do to help her adjust and want to spend time with me and not avoid me.

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Mother Of Pearls - posted on 07/11/2012

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hi well at first it might be difficult but with a lot of patience and love she will come around once she has come around to the fact that her father has found someone and that he can spread his love around and he is being loved soon enough she will have to except the change

Ana - posted on 07/10/2012

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Well, since everyone else is a BOY, you and her have something special to share. You can take her for ice cream by herself and talk about school and cartoons and friends and music. You can plan a girly day at home with her and paint her nails and play dress up. You can ask her what her favorites are and cater to them and include them in the wedding for her somehow.. list goes on.. I have a little girl and I do all this and more with her... we have hair days, hat days, we just put star stickers on our toes and pained clear polish over them, we go fro icecream without daddy, shopping, go to the beach and play.. just on and on...

Emma - posted on 06/28/2012

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plan an activity together that you know she will enjoy. if she wants to, you should have her father along at least at the beginning if that will make her more comfortable

Tracie - posted on 06/27/2012

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That's easy - schedule some girl time! Pick some activities that you know she likes to do and take her out for a fun day. Go to the park, the movies, ride bikes together, go bowling, anything she likes. You can make it fun by putting a bunch of activities on slips of paper so she gets the excitement of drawing from the bowl to see what the day's activity will be. Be patient and give her lots of love and she will come around. Good luck!

Carol - posted on 06/26/2012

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I'd think that just being with her and doing family activities would earn her trust and help develop a bond. Our family would alternate weekends of who was in charge of the outings. Our son was barely 7 when we started, so your step-daughter should be fine. Let her start. We demanded one new thing each weekend (we had recently moved to a new area) and they had to stay within a budget. Each weekend had to include at least an hour of physical activity together and one restaurant (dine in or take out). It brought everyone together and gave the kids a sense of power and knowledge that we respected their preferences.

Michelle - posted on 06/25/2012

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I would plan an activity that she may like, like baking or a craft that just the two of you can do. Make it a special time just for the two of you tell her it is girl time. Take her and have her nails done, that kind of stuff make it special time.

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