How can I get my 3 week old to sleep in her own bed?

Gidgit - posted on 12/28/2009 ( 8 moms have responded )

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She will sleep there during the day but at night she seems to hate it! She either wants to sleep on me or in my bed but not hers! lol Not that I mind but I know I need to encourage her to sleep on her own at some point.

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Mitzi - posted on 12/29/2009

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I cuddled with my little one in my bed for about 5 weeks and now on the 7th week she doesn't mind being in the crib so much. I have a small bassinet. Sometimes i think she feels lost in a crib and feels more secure in a smaller bed. There is no reason to skip the night time cuddling even female dogs nurture and snuggle with their puppies why not us?

Anna - posted on 12/28/2009

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It's natural for her to want to be close to you. There is nothing wrong with co-sleeping if you do it safely. My son has just turned one and has slept with us since birth. It is much easier for breastfeeding and we haven't really had any problems with sleep. I'm happy for him to stay with us until he's ready to want his own bed.

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Diana - posted on 12/29/2009

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If you teach her to sleep with you, she will want to sleep with you later and you will have problems. i have my daughter in a bassinet next to my bed. Put a worn bra or some thing that has your smell in the bassinet and she will learn. Give it a week or so.
I know being a new mum is exciting and you want to hold her but you need to be well rested and i don't think you can do that if she is sleeping with you.

Gidgit - posted on 12/29/2009

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Ladies thank you so much! I've had unsolcited advice since i brought her home. You see I am an adoptive mommy and I have felt it a great need to hold/cuddle, and sleep with her because I felt it would help us bond. Thank you so much for the encouraging words!

Renae - posted on 12/29/2009

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Anyone who has read any of my posts on sleeping knows I am an advocate of SOME sleep training methods (which means anything you do to get her to sleep on her own) including one particular CIO method.

But, your baby is far too young. I highly recommend that you wait this out and see if she naturally transitions to sleeping in her own bed on her own. It is highly likely that if you continue to give her all of the comfort she desires in these early days out of the womb, that it will boost her confidence to the point that she no longer needs you there all the time while she sleeps. Keep her in her bed as much as possible so that she is still used to her own bed, but dont feel as though you are doing the wrong thing by letting her sleep on you. Always try to put her in her own bed once she is asleep (unless of course you have fallen asleep too!). Very small babies are aware of their surroundings even while they sleep, so being in her bed while she sleeps will still help her become used to it.

If she doesn't fix this on her own (probably between 12-14 weeks things will start to change) and you are still holding her while she sleeps after 14 weeks, then message me and I will give you some gentle methods to start with to teach her to sleep on her own (mostly because we don't want you to become exhausted by this either). But always give the baby a chance to do it themselves first, at 3 weeks she hasn't had a chance to figure out much of anything yet (except that you are mummy and you are good, loving and safe!). I know 14 weeks seems like a long way away right now, but in the grand scheme of things its a drop in the ocean.

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3 weeks is far too early to do any sort of sleep training. A three week old is just barely out of the womb where it was warm, cozy, had a constant rhythm with movement and now all of a sudden they are expected to sleep in a stagnant sleeping arrangement (unless your using a hammock) away from Mum, the one thing in this foreign world they know by smell and touch? It sounds unfair and unreasonable to me. Gosh I miss the days when my 2 year old would sleep with me in my bed (she now prefers her cot in her own room –her choice!) Lucky I've got a four month old, granted he doesn't really like sleeping with me and my husband in our bed, but he is in his cot now (was a hammock) right next to my bed so we can at least hear each other, touch each other and I can tend to him promptly when he needs me.

Gosh, 3 weeks old is still that very, very special newborn phase that lasts for such a short time and when it’s over, you never get that precious time back. Are you worried that you’ll have problems later? Please don’t believe all of those women (there are lots of them) that scare you with phrases like ‘you have to start them sleeping on their own sooner than later’, or ‘your baby will be in your bed forever if let them do it now’ or any of the like. It’s not true. Every baby is different. Maybe your baby needs you more now and will ease off when she is older. You say you don’t mind it now, well keep doing it until you do mind. In my experience, there is no such thing as making a rod for your own back if you are doing what you feel works for you and you like doing it. When you stop liking it, and only then, make changes. Why change something that you like, and I can be certain your daughter likes, on a ‘what if’???

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Our first 2 slept with us & now I have 7 mth old twin girls & they have never slept with us. The thought of 2 of them still in the bed with us 3 years down the track, like our 7 yo & 4 yo were was too terrifying!! Try putting the cot sheet in bed with you for a couple of nights before putting it on bub's bed, then it will smell like you & be a comfort (maybe). The other suggestion of music is good too. We use that one as well. I find also that if they are unsettled just talking outside their door to let them know you are around often reassures them. It might take a while....some babies seem very resistant to sleeping in their own cots, but as the other mum said it is definitely worth it in the long run. Good luck :)

Susan - posted on 12/28/2009

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good for you !! and now is the best time to do it. It will make life for you easier down the road and also help her to be able to go to sleep and stay asleep better! i also wanted this to happen and started by getting mine to sleep before i put them in the crib then as they get older like couple months put them in awake with music or something and they do learn to put themselves to sleep and you will be so glad you did it later!!!!!!!

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