how can i get my 3 year old out of my bed it seems i have tried everything HELP!!!!!!!!!


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It gets really hard the older that they get, my son was 3 1/2 when we trained him. I tried everything; read books, reward system, etc. I read the "How to solve your child's sleep problems (Dr. Ferber) and then "Healthy sleep habits, happy child (Dr. Weissbluth). Nothing seemed to work until I realized I had to do it all or nothing. I had to be COMPLETELY CONSISTENT. I felt like I was just being mean. I would cop out and say I was just too tired this particular night or he's sick or whatever excuse I could come up with to coddle and prolong the inevitable. Trust me, it is worth it in the end and he didn't love me any less, but it was hard. I think I cried as much as he did. I would suggest that you read the book "Healthy sleep habits, healthy child by Dr. Weissbluth. It gives a lot of insight about a child's sleep patterns and what impact lack of sleep can have on them physically and emotionally. I realized I was not just doing this for me, but for my son, although he didn't think so at the time. He is now 9 and has slept in his own bed since we trained him, but we could never back down and let him in our bed again or he would go right back to the same pattern. When I had my second child, she was trained as an infant. She has never had the issues he has had with sleep because we started early on and boy was it easy when they are little.

Read the book, make a chart and pray. Your child may be a little clingy during the day during the week or two that you train, but it is sooooo worth it in the end. He/she will be so much better rested and you will won't be physically touched-out. I remember the feeling all too well, even though my kids are 5 and 9. Good luck and just send a message if you have any other questions or just need encouragement. YOU CAN DO IT FOR YOU AND YOUR CHILD. Good luck.

Tessa - posted on 12/27/2009




What most moms I talk to have done is place a mattress on the floor right beside their bed and let the child sleep on there for a while. Snuggle them down, read to them, nurse them, whatever you normally do. Then after he/she is asleep climb into your own bed. Then move the mattress into another room do the same in there. Over time your child will stay asleep longer and hopefully sleep all night in their own bed.

Perhaps you could let your child know that when he/she wakes up in the middle of the night they are welcome to either get you to snuggle them down again, or welcome to join you in the big bed and then you can transfer them back. Maybe if he/she feels like your bed is still there "just in case" it will be easier to get him/her to sleep alone. Good luck!

I'm just speaking from other moms' experiences as my son is 20 months and still in bed with us. Though he does sleep the first part of the night in his crib beside us, he still crawls in when he first wakes up.

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