How can I get my husband to help out occasionally?

Sarah - posted on 08/15/2012 ( 1 mom has responded )

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I am a stay at home mom. I try really hard to be the "super mom" but I am only 20 years old.. and so is my husband. By the grace of God he finally got a job when I was pregnant, as a machinist, works 54 hours a week, and is the best damn provider I could ask for. The only problem is, sometimes I feel like I'm raising 2 kids. His job is very dirty, he comes home, gets metal shaving on the floor (where my 7 month old crawls), completely ruined the interior of my car because of the grease from his clothes, leaves dishes, plates, trash and shoes everywhere. I feel like I can't get on to him or ask him for more help on his part because, he is just so exhausted after working a 12 hour shift, and If he does agree to help, I would just start nit picking like, hey can u rinse your plate off? Or hey can you shake off your clothes before you come in? And honestly after awhile (2 days) It would get extremely annoying. Does anyone else have this problem?

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Michelle - posted on 08/16/2012

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I don't think it's nagging, he should think it's just common courtesy. I understand he's young so maybe he hasn't had to deal with it before and doesn't understand the extra workload he puts on you.

I'm assuming (and correct me if I'm wrong) that he didn't live on his own before moving in with you. Maybe Mum did it all and didn't teach him that the cleaning fairy doesn't exist.

I would suggest sitting down and explaining that him not shaking off his clothes can be bad for the baby ( metal in hands, knees and mouth). Let him know that it's a great help if he could rinse off his plate after using it. There are ways to get our point across without it sounding like nagging. Most of the time it's just the different wording and tone of voice that can make all the difference.

Don't wait until something is bothering you, write a list of things you would like him to do and sit down when you are both relaxed and have a talk about how the house should be run.

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