How can I get rid of feeling alone and frustrated?

Mary - posted on 09/29/2012 ( 6 moms have responded )

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I am a SAHM, young mother of two girs 4yr and 5month.. I don't ever get much of a break.. I wake up about 2 times at night too feed the 5month and I have to be up by 6am for my preschool girl.. Many people tell "you are not alone you are with your daughters all day" (dont get me wrong i love my girls to death) My husband works nights n gets his rest during the day. I don't have time to do my make up, and my hair is always in a bun. My showers have to be super fast and that's if I get the chance. Otherwise I have to wait until my husbands wake up so he can watch the girls.. I get to shave my legs about twice a month, and yet I don't get enough cleaning around the house! I am too busy feeding n paying attention to the girls.. Everything I do day and night is mostly on my own. I don't only dress my self, bathe my self, hair, teeth, feeding, clean after, put to sleep, I do it to 2 other persons by my self..



On the weekends my husband and I do laundry, Or just stay at home.. He plays basketball about 3-4 days out of the week (I'm very supportive on him about that except for when he gets injured)..



So is there anything I can do to get rid of this frustration and loneliness feelings??

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Sherry - posted on 10/01/2012

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Your not alone in this situation at all. I have 3 children ages 9,8,6 its very hard to get time for yourself. It's good to set a routine but sometimes hard to stick to it. When the younger one naps during the day take that time for yourself to shower or do your make up or do anything for yourself. As for the house work well that will always be there get it done whenever you can. It's hard I understand. It's also good to talk to other moms they understand what your going through and it's very hard when your husband works nights because during the day he has to sleep well did that for a while and then he switched to days which worked very good. Ask a friend or neighbors for help if you can or a family member :), don't be afraid to ask for help we all need it sometimes that doesn't make you a bad mom at all. We are only human and we can only do so much. I hope this all works out for you take care

Bean - posted on 09/30/2012

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I am glad to know I am not the only one feeling this way! I, like most of you have two children and a husband who works a lot. This leaves me to run the house, raise the kids, take care of anything that comes up and spend 90% of my time alone with my children. Please don't mistake what I am saying, being at home with my children is the best gift I could have been given but it is lonely and overwhelming at times. I have found two things that make me feel better. The first thing is that I try to get out of the house for a small part of the day each day, even if it is just for a long walk. It clears my head and stops me from constantly worrying about dinner, dishes and the never ending list of things that need to get done. Also everyday I choose one thing to do for myself and I make sure to do it, even if something else gets left behind, like the vacuuming. I look forward to that activity all day, even if it is just indulging in an extra long shower, a cup of tea or reading a few pages in a good book. Maybe give this a try and see if it relieves your frustration. Motherhood is definitely harder than any job I can imagine doing but I am glad I get to do it! Cheer up!

User - posted on 09/29/2012

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Welcome to motherhood. Everything you described is what we go through everyday. I promise it will get easier! I have 3 kids. 2 teenage boys and a 2 year old. I hate being home constantly but I could not image being away from my baby girl 10 hours a day working and traveling for work. I know it is harder than anyone could imagine but they will grow and you will feel better.

Deanna - posted on 09/29/2012

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I'm not sure where you live but our city has a group called MOPS where moms can meet and get to know each other. Also, I met a lot of moms through meetup.com. Its a site where people with common interests can meet. A simple play date at the park with friends can really help relieve stress and boredom for moms as much as kids. You're not alone...though it does feel that way sometimes.

Karen - posted on 09/29/2012

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I feel like this all the time too! I am a SAHM of a very active 2 yr old, a 4 month old, and expecting. My husband leaves at 4am for work and does not get home until about 8pm 5+ days a week, so I deal with the kids and house all day, everyday. My house is always a mess, my hair is in a bun and I feel lucky to take a shower without someone crying, or needing me much less sit down to eat. The 4 month old has a built-in-Mommy-is-about-to-eat radar so my food is always cold or soggy. But I have realized that they are only this age for a little while, they grow up so fast that I don't want to take one day for granted. I am thankful that I am there for every little milestone that they go through, I get to see it first-hand. Try to take a break every day for you time, if the baby is asleep let the other one color or play for a little bit, take time for you whether it is get on the computer, read a book, or call someone, make Mommy time a part of everyday or at least every other day. I have also realized that I can run to the bathroom and shave while the baby naps and the 2 year old is occupied and it only takes a few minutes instead of trying to do everything at one time during a shower. Good Luck and if you need someone to talk to, rant at or whatever just message me, my computer is my Mommy time!

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Mary - posted on 10/01/2012

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Thank you all very much! I will try those things little by little and see which ones work best.

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