How can I motivate a VERY lazy husband?

Jennifer - posted on 06/27/2011 ( 4 moms have responded )




My husband is 39, works a full time job, and doesn't think he should do anything to help out at home. INCLUDING spending time with our son. He is 2 1/2, potty trained, reads and LOVES baseball. I can only teach him so many things. And he is now starting to ask me why daddy doesn't play with him. He is so lazy that my dad cuts our grass because he won't do it. I would, but I can not cut the grass with my son and he won't watch him so that I can do it. I haven't had a day off in over 2 years, and I'm going batty. Any suggestions?


[deleted account]

In our house, the agreement is that the household chores are mine, the outside job is his, and we SHARE the child. We BOTH created the boy, and we are BOTH his parents.

I understand he's tired after a long day, so I give dh 30-45 minutes to get settled into the house and relax after work. He takes a shower, changes, and chills in his office for a bit, then he comes out and plays with J.

What is he doing after work? If he is watching TV, just toss it out. When J was first born, dh would park in front of the TV for literally 2 hours straight after work, so I turned out cable off and sold his game console thing & games to GameStop. After that, he didn't have anything to do but play with J or read, and reading is difficult with a toddler nipping at your heels.

Chrystal - posted on 06/27/2011




Well, I think it's probably about time to give him an ultimatum. Not trying to get in your business, but if I were in your shoes I would let him know that you didn't sign up to be a single parent. And if he wants it that way than he needs to start helping out more. Good luck:)


View replies by

Katherine - posted on 08/03/2011




Tell him fine, you want every Thursday to be your night out. See what he says.

Katrina - posted on 08/02/2011




Um are you sure you're not talking about an older version of my husband. I work a full time job and so does he but I do everything else at home. I take our son to daycare, I pick him up from daycare, I take him to doctor's appointments, I'm the one with him when he's sick. I cook, I clean, I mow the lawn when I can get someone to watch my son, I take out the trash, and on and on. Lately my father in law has been doing it for me which I appreciate. I finally told my husband to get out of my house. What did I need him for when I was doing everything? Absolutely nothing unless I wanted to be stressed out and angry all the time because he couldnt bring himself to close the microwave door or every last stinking cabinet in the kitchen that he opened. There comes a point when you just have to say enough is enough and do what you have to do to take care of your son. Like you I wasnt getting any down time yet he was sleeping all the time and going out with his friends but when it came time for him to look after our son he was too tired or he had something to do. I can only be taken advantage of for so long. Of course now that its too late he wants to try and work it out trying to do a little around the house although he messes up more than he helps. I keep telling him I'm done but he doesnt want to give up because he knows he screwed up. I love him but I just cant live with him.

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