How can I tell if my child is being sexually abused?

Latasha - posted on 05/08/2013 ( 3 moms have responded )

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I am recently married for the first time. I have a 9 year old daughter and 2 younger sons. Let me start by saying that as I child, I had several traumatizing sexually abusive events happen. I struggle a lot with that, and am confused on if my trauma is having any effect on what may or may not be happening. Since I got married, my kids, all of them have been acting up a lot. I have chalked this up to the new found structure and the new ( and only) father figure in the house. However, I keep having bad feelings that innapropriate things are going on between my husband and daughter. I haven't seen any red flags that would lead me to indicate anything bad is going on, however, the bad feelings I get just keep getting stronger and stronger. I have always had very open discussions on sex, and boundaries, and what to do if someone touches her or exploites her in any way. And I have always randomly brought the subject up in conversations in the hopes that my kids would feel comfortable talking about it, so if anything ever did happen, they would be comfortable talking to me. I am confused on if maybe I am overreacting because of my own experiences or if there is reason behind these feelings and if so, what do I do? I don't want to put my daughter in a situation where she feels like she's telling me what I'm expecting to hear, so I don't push it, but at the same time I don't want to be neglectful about it either. Any advice???

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Jennifer - posted on 10/02/2013

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If you are concerned in any way, ask. I saw sadness behind my baby's smile forever. I have not experienced sexual abuse, but I know my children well. My son disclosed to me in july that hes being abused by his dad. I've always said, if it wasn't an issue, it wouldn't be an issue. Your daughter may benefit from counseling. I saw ,the abuse stats, trust your gut. Blessingsvç

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No one here is going to be able to tell you whether you are overreacting or not. Bring this subject up next time you see your mental health professional, and if you don't have an appointment coming up soon, try to make one as soon as possible. I know my psychologist keeps time open in his schedule every week to accommodate emergency visits, I think most do this even if they book up well in advance.

Jodi - posted on 05/09/2013

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I can't say whether you are just reacting to your past or something that is going on, but maybe the first place to start is to have a discussion with a counsellor.

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