How can my 14 year old son handle a horrible step mom?

Lynn - posted on 10/26/2016 ( 5 moms have responded )

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My ex was recently remarried but has been living with this woman for 3 years. She is crazy control freak who has lost her temper more than once when she hasn't gotten her own way. One day she was mad a me and put my son in the car driving erratically and swearing about me and my older son. She takes every chance she can to trash me and my son (who now has nothing to do with her or his father because his father let's her do all the talking, disciplining etc.) My children are both respectful and very well behaved but she just rides my 14 year old constantly. They won't let him go to his room for any alone time. She makes him watch movies with her. He has a 94 average at school and that's not good enough. She screams at him if he doesn't finish his dinner. The list just goes on and on...and my ex puts up with it. He told me that she is his mother and I have to stop saying I'm his mother. They turn everything around and try to make me look like the bad guy. They recently have decided that he can't talk to me when I call which is a violation of our divorce agreement. I had to call the cops after a recent family argument they had where my older son went over to protect his brother from her yelling - he got poked in the chest, swore at, told they are a family over there and to mind his own business. I want both my children to have a relationship with their dad but this woman is over the top and I can't take it when my son comes to our home and tells me all she's done and how unhappy he is over there. What can I do????

5 Comments

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Kvolm2016 - posted on 11/02/2016

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I'm not sure, so I am asking this question:
At what age does your son have the right to say, I do not want to remain in the shared custody arrangement because of the way I am treated in my fathers home?

Your son needs to have an advocate who will do what is in his best interest. Isn't there a court advocate for that purpose?

Roberta - posted on 11/01/2016

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Divorce is hard. Shared custody is hard. Co-parenting is hard. I agree with Ev Witt, you should take this back to court especially when you say you can't talk to your kids when they're at the father's house. Perhaps there is some divorce/co-parenting counseling the court could order you all to take. The most important thing is that the kids are treated fairly by not putting them in a compromising position. I'm a product of divorce and know that the way my parent's handled the divorce was key in my coping. They were always cordial to each other and never spoke ill of the other to us. My dad remarried, my mom did not. But, to this day, my dad talks with my mom more than he talks with my 45 year old sister and I (51), I'll keep you all in my prayers.

Lynn - posted on 10/27/2016

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No we have shared custody 50/50. I also just found out that they sat him down for an hour and told him lies and horrible things about me. Also, tried to tell him that she loves him and is a better role model than me. He never had anything to do with either of our children before she entered his life as he was working or playing stocks all the time. I was a stay at home mom and have always been there for my kids. I'm not sure how to stop this.

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