How did you explain to your kids about......

Lisa-Marie - posted on 06/03/2010 ( 2 moms have responded )

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How did you approach the subject of inappropriate touching? How did you bring it up with your kids and what did you tell them and how old were they? Also how did you get them to understand that it is not just strangers but everyone who could be a danger (as it is usually a friend or relative)
Or if you think your kids are too young how old do you think is the right age and what will you tell them about pedophiles and the dangers that are out there?

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[deleted account]

My son is 5yrs now, and I think I started discussing it with him around age 3. I usually talked about it in the bath tub as I was washing him, explaining that no one but Mommy, Daddy, his Nannies, or Aunt Kim should ever touch him there. I mentioned his doctor, but told him that I would be in the room with him until he was older. I also told him that he should not show that part of himself to anyone other than those allowed to bath him or take him to the potty. I told him if anyone touched or asked to see that part of him for any reason other than wiping or bathing he needed to tell me immediately or as soon as possible. I told him that whoever did that would tell him not to tell, but he had to tell anyway and that was something we never keep secrets about.
Obviously, I didn't tell him all that at once, but little bits at a time over several conversations. I still bring it up at bath time occasionally by asking him quiz questions, like "who is allowed to give you a bath" "what do you do if anyone else tries to give you a bath?" "who do you tell if someone touches you here?" etc. Just to make sure it stays fresh in his mind.

[deleted account]

My son is 4. This was a topic we discussed at length in my ECFE (early childhood family education) parent group. Our instructor showed a very appropriate video that showed different scenarios of parents discussing these matters with different aged children, the youngest being about 2.5-3. The gist of it was "no one should touch you in your private areas (areas covered by your swim suit) for any reason other than to keep you clean and healthy." And we talk specifically about the people who would be doing that and the situations that would occur. And really it comes down to cleaning after using the toilet, bathing and seeing the doctor. If anyone is touching a child's private areas at another time it's wrong. We try to discuss this at a time that it seems natural. After taking a bath, after using the toilet. We when use a public restroom I explain why he needs to come with me rather than go in the men's room on his own. I don't want my son to be terrified of strangers and on the watch for pedophiles, murderers or meanies. I want him to be cautious of people he doesn't know. We've talked about how it's not okay to take things from people if one of us isn't there. And it's never okay to get in a car with someone he doesn't know.
All children are different and can handle different conversations. It's important to use language and situations that your child will understand. The point is to educate them and prepare them and not terrify them.

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