How did you help your children to deal with bullies at school?

Gabriela - posted on 09/11/2010 ( 6 moms have responded )

51

12

15

My son is almost 4, and he started scholl this year. He went to Preschool last year and it went pretty well. But at his new school, there are 3-4 bullies in his classroom... and two have made him their fav target! I don´t like to promote violence as a solution, because I don´t believe it solves anything, but it really worries me what all the bulling is doing to my son´s self steem. He´s very quiet and peaceful at school, but when he comes home he takes it out on his father, and sometimes, he even yells at me or raises his hand as if to hit me. I already talked with his teacher and she has already have several meetings with those kids parents. But they keep hitting and bothering my son. So I told him to defend himself... by shouting a very clear and serious "DON´T BOTHER ME!" to the bullies. I doubt it will help in the long time, but I don´t want him to come home with a black eye, some mayor bruise or worse. I don´t want him to explode either and have any kind of trouble with other parents, because he couldn´t take it anymore and hurt someone really bad. And I REALLY don´t want him to turn into one of those kids that take a gun to scholl and shoot everyone in sight. Any advices, expierences, ideas, to share that may help?

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Kelina - posted on 09/12/2010

2,018

9

235

Hear me out before you completely disregard what i'm about to type. Have you thought abot enrolling him in something like karate or tae kwon doe? I'm not advocating violence and he wouldn't need to know that these things are for self defense only, but often the instructors there teach respect for yourself and others and it is a really positive experience. It will also give him an outlet for some of the agression that seems to be building up in him. If he's being picked on at school and it's this early in the school year, things are only going to get worse. Bottling emotions is never good and venting them on his parents isn't good either. I think some kind of self defense would be a big benefit for him.

Mandy - posted on 09/11/2010

375

16

149

That is really early to have that kind of bully behavior. Something definitely isn't right. He either needs to go to a new class or a different school. The teachers should be providing enough structure for the class that there shouldn't be time for the children to exhibit this type of behavior. Maybe the class size is too big for this age group. Something definitely needs to change. Hope you have some other options. I would not tolerate that at all.

This conversation has been closed to further comments

6 Comments

View replies by

Gabriela - posted on 09/12/2010

51

12

15

Kelina: his father has actually consider that option. When I asked my son if karate would be something he might be interested in, he said: "no, mommy, because you have to fight and I don´t like that", but when his father told him that may help him deal with bullies, he seemed very up for it. Thank you! Here, school year actually began in January, so it´s almost over. And I was thinking what could we do during vacations, so I guess it will be karate. His father took karate when he was young and he says the same thing you said about self respect, respect for others, and actually his teacher told them karate wasn´t about fighting, but about self control, leaving violence as the last and most desperate resource.

Gabriela - posted on 09/12/2010

51

12

15

Thank you both, ladies. We have consider those two options: move him to another class or change him to another school. The one his at right now has a disciplinary code wich consider fissical aggresion as a major fault, but they allow agressive children to stay til the end fo the school year but won´t take them for the next. In the mean time, they have meetings with the parents and the bullies and give them several chances of changing their behaviour (and for the parents, the chance to get more involved in their kids lives and help them with whatever may be causing the bully attitude) wich all seem right and fair for me... except I can´t wait for them to change and my son´s health and well being can´t wait either. Thank you again for your ideas. I ´ll make an appointemente with his teacher once more.

Candy - posted on 09/11/2010

649

2

173

You need to get a hold of that teacher,princple(sp), and conseler(sp) I know my spelling is bad. You know who I mean and get this stopped. They may can even move him to a different class. I would try to get him moved from that class. My daughter had a BAD class last year in kindergarten. They didnt pick on her but they were BAD kids alot of BAD kids in her class. Her teacher want her moved out of there because she said she felt my daughter would do so much better in a new class.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms