How do i deal with a my daughter who is very jelous of her brother

Samantha - posted on 02/09/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )




My 5 year old daughter is very jealous of her 9 month old brother, she is very loving towards him and always wants to play with him. She takes his toys away and puts them where he can't get them, she dose negative things to get my attention all the time, she has a major attitude and has server tantrums! any suggestions I think ive tried everything...


Kimberly - posted on 02/09/2012




I know its very hard and you might have tried this but have you gotten her to be your little helper? So getting her to do little things like pass you a nappie, or pick out a outfit for him, get a face washer, etc and praise her for helping you so much? She might see that she gets a quicker reaction from you if she does something negitive so change it to getting your attention in a good way. Ask her to show him how to do stuff or 'teach' him something. If you can make her feel like she is a real help to you and reward the good behaviour then she might not do so many bad things. Also I know it would be very hard but if you can give her some one on one time for stories and cuddles or just talking so she feels she has your full attention. Dont know how you'll go but good luck!


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Jenni - posted on 02/10/2012




Others have already suggested having her help out. I'd just like to add that this is completely normal and she is just adjusting to having a new sibling share her mommy's attention. So don't draw too much attention to it. Distraction or redirection would probably work best.

I gave my son a doll to mimic things I did with his new sister. She'll probably get a kick out of being allowed to put her doll in her sibling's highchair, swing, you can also give her his baby bottles, diapers, let her dress her doll up in his old baby clothes, baby spoons and bowls to play pretend with. Just try to keep it smooth. Don't punish over her brother, but correct and redirect (show her the appropriate way to behave). Punishing over him will only feed resentment.

It gets far more easier once he is old enough to play with her. At least it did for me. My two get along famously now. Course, there will always be little tiffs and rivalry. But their relationship changed immensely once she could play with him and the attention she needed became more balanced.

Just keep her involved. Ignore the tantrums and give her attention when she is behaving or being nice with her brother.

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