How do I deal with "abusive" daughter??

Montana - posted on 09/17/2011 ( 2 moms have responded )




My daughter can be the sweetest thing sometimes. She is just about 5. For the last couple of months she has began to be physical with me. She hits me, kicks me, and today she threw 2 remotes at my face and one hit me in my eye n its swollen. All we were doing was laying in my bed watching a movie! She said, "you werent listening!" WTH?? I DONT HAVE TO LISTEN TO HER SHE IS SUPPOSED TO LISTEN TO ME! I handled the incident well I think considering my instincts wanted to beat her behind for what she did! I picked her up pretty firmly and told her to "get out of my room". I am so sick and tired of getting this behavior from her. My husband is gone all day and doesnt come home til bedtime so he is not home to help me with this and I dont have help from family. I am totally overwhelmed and completely PISSED to be totally honest. What do I do? I cant take it anymore! She IS doing this on purpose when she doesnt get her way. HELP.


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[deleted account]

My 4 yr old can get like that. Thats when i pull her aside and calmly talk to her about how she feels. There is some reason at the age of 5 she is acting out like this. Talk to her and see if something is bothering her (Daddy not being home, starting school). Stay calm and hold your own. My daughter has to be reminded all the time that she is not in charge and will not get away with rude behavior. I simply tell her she is being rude and send her to her room to calm down, then talk to her about why she is acting up!

[deleted account]

My daughter is 2 and can be the same way sometimes. I found that the calmer I react the less she hits, kicks, bites, etc. If I raised my voice it would make her more upset and there would be more violent behavior. One friend recommended putting her favorite toy in time out when she did something like this (her daughter is a hitter/kicker too). So what I do is stay as calm as possible when moving myself away from her. I always give a warning about the behavior I don't like and tell her what the consequence will be. If she's really acting out I will put her in timeout. I don't like to, but sometimes we both need a minute or two to calm down. If she hits me with a toy/object then that toy goes in timeout. I was surprised at how well that worked. Usually after a warning about her toy going to timeout she will stop. I'm currently reading The Discipline Book by Dr. Sears to get more ideas. Is she in school yet? If so, how's her behavior there? I've found that when my daughter acts out she usually just needs an activity change. So when I see her start to get restless we go outside, color, paint, read books, etc. I know it's really frustrating :(.

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