How do I get back to myself??

Nichole - posted on 05/13/2010 ( 10 moms have responded )

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I am a mother of a 7 month old and we are at home all day long....I have noticed that my patience is not the same as it use to be....I get stressed really easy. I lost most all of my motivation to do things around the house. I don't know what to do... How can I get my motivation back and also my patience???

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Fiona - posted on 05/14/2010

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I was the same a few months ago. I have an 8 month old girl.

I found getting out of the house was good going for a walk and having a coffee, my baby would fall asleep on the walk then i could relax. When i got home the house work didnt seem to bother me as much.

I started swimming lessons for bub its great!

Also being organized will help, once i started to organize thing, it got easier and found i had more time for me and bub. You have to work around bub's routine, when my baby is sleeping, i usually sit down and have a cup of tea . . . . .time a deep breath . . .. . .and relax. I only need 15min to chill out then i can get back to the house work. Some days i still need an afternoon nap to keep me going. Its ok to have lazy moments or days.

I find when im having a crap day so is Lucy, it really gets on my nerves when she wants to be near me all the time, espically when i need to do things. I have found changing her toys around and tiding them up, are good ways to keep her occupied and give me more time to do other things, it helps me not get so stressed out.

Be proud of what you get done!!!!!!!!!! Even if you do 3 loads of washing hang it out and fold it, put it away. Be proud!!!!! Its hard work!!!!

*Lisa* - posted on 05/13/2010

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I know how you feel. I'm a SAHM to an 8 month old and we live in a foreign country away from family and friends. I get very de-motivated and feel tired 24/7. So I've started exercising (it's amazing how much more energy I have after exercising). I just do a 20 minute video at home. Also, I made myself leave the house and meet new people. Slowly I have started to regain my energy and am feeling a lot more positive in general. I still have bad lazy days, but just not as many as before. Good luck :) find something that you really enjoy - swimming classes for bub and you? Something fun.

Alina - posted on 05/17/2010

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First, take a deep breath! Now, go easy on yourself. You're doing great - raising a child! No small task, huh! I agree with Fiona, if I have a crappy day, my kids have one. I've always been a bit anal, but I've learned to let things go. Sometimes I succeed in accomplishing a lot of work, then I have days I get nothing done. But even on those days, my family is cared for and happy. My husband doesn't come home fussing because the laundry is washed but not folded, or I didn't mop the floors. We just got another vehicle, so I know all too well about being in the house ALL day! It will drive you crazy! I started getting out and walking around, even for ten minutes. I joined Circle of Moms to stay as connected to others as I can. If you have a friend who is a SAHM, and she has a car, even visiting her house or riding with her while she runs errands can make you feel better. You'll get adult company and fresh air. My friend would invite me to ride with her just to drop off a prescription or get milk and eggs because she knew I didn't have transportation. Now that I do, I'll leave the housework alone to take the kids to the park, whether I feel up to it or not. There's story time at the Library twice a week, and we go. Your baby will love storytime, even at 8 months, and you'll meet some more moms. I'm more patient when I do something for myself. Your patience will come back, but if everything you do is always for everyone but yourself, you're going to drive yourself crazy. Find your baby some fun toys, books, and fun programs. Call your local churches - many of them have mom groups, and you don't have to be a member of their choice to join. I'm giving you a virtual hug :) Hang in there, Nichole.

Melissa - posted on 05/14/2010

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PROGRAMS! That's all I have to say. They kept me sane while I was on mat leave. Look online for free programs or events in your neighbour that are family or baby oriented. Go to them and meet other moms, and babies. It gives you baby time to work off some energy, and time for you to talk to a human. If you get out you regain some of you. Even though your with your baby you'll get to function as an adult. Also get someone or your other half to maybe take your baby for an hour or two a week. Then you get some "Me" time to read, or watch a movie...ect. Soon you'll have the motivation to want to do other things clean, sex, ect..Sometimes being at home all day can be very depressing just try to press on and be positive. I hope I've helped.

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Chelle - posted on 05/17/2010

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Hey Nichole i felt like this between the time loch was 6-8mths old. I would look in the mirror at that tired, drained face and wonder who was looking back at me. I was a lot less patient and quick to temper with him as well as my husband. I was just going through the motions, not finding the enjoyment in things i used to. Although i have had a history of depression it still took me a while to realise what was happening, i think it has a lot to do with the fact that as a mum you get so used to putting you last.



Once i realised this, i felt so much better. I went and saw my doctor and he put me back on zoloft. It made a huge difference. My little boy also started to sleep through the night from 8 months on and my life truly changed for the better after that.



For me i know the depression was brought on by the constant lack of sleep. We are not invincible, we need fuel and energy to survive and move around and sleep is the best way.



I love staying at home and as i am a homebody i am not someone that has to be out and about a lot. But it is important to get outside and be amongst nature. Definitely try to make some time for you, even if its just half an hour in the day. And like others have suggested, let someone else look after him every now and then. As much as i agree that being a parent is a sacrifice- we still need to learn to put ourselves first so that we are in a better position to take care of those who need us. Wishing you all the luck xx

[deleted account]

Welcome to Motherhood :) It doesn't happen overnight, that's for sure. I have a five year old and a three year old, and I am just starting to feel like myself again. Your regular "self" seems to take a personality vacation after you have a baby. You spend the first three years of thier life doing everything for them, and then one day you magically realize that "hey, I'm ok" feeling is back.

When you have time, focus on something that makes you, and only you happy. A TV show, a craft, a sport - something that is only for you, and don't mutitask while you do it. Just enjoy. Make sure you have a Mommy support group - a bunch of people that are in the same boat as you. I couldn't have survived without mine! You can meet peolpe by joining Mommy and Me groups, your local Early Childhood PTA, and so on....
Good Luck!

Danielle - posted on 05/17/2010

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Use dad, grandma, auntie, or whoever u can find to get a break as much as possible! I found myself getting lazy staying at home all day too and now I make myself reasonable daily lists and I feel so good when I get it completed!

Jamie - posted on 05/14/2010

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I know what you mean. I was recently put on zoloft. It really works. I'm happier than I have been in a long time. I never thought I would need help like this but I'm so glad I finally talked to my doctor. I'm enjoying my kids again and not losing my patience.
Best of luck.

Rebecca - posted on 05/14/2010

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It sounds to me like you are not getting any "Mommy time". If you have someone available who can watch the baby, do something for yourself. It helps so much. Or if you don't have someone to watch the baby, use naptime to have some fun, relaxing time instead of doing chores or other un-fun stuff. And try to get out of the house as much as possible, even if you just sit outside for a while. Sunlight will help, because you appear to be becoming depressed, and lack of sunlight is one cause. Hope these suggestions help, good luck!!

Nichole - posted on 05/14/2010

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Thanks so much to everyone and to Fiona...you brought a tear to my eye...thanks so much!!!

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