How do I get my 2 1/2 yr old stepdauhter to share?

Lori - posted on 12/21/2009 ( 3 moms have responded )




My 2 1/2 will always take toys away from my 10 month old son, just because she doesn't want him to have it. What can I do to help her to understand she needs to share with her brother? She has been the baby for 2 years and thinks EVERYTHING,including the grandmother, is hers. Just talking to her doesn't seem to work. And I know it has a lot to do with age but HELP.


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Melaina - posted on 12/22/2009




You have to just continuously reinforce the practice of sharing. At that age, kids are naturally self-centered, and simply don't understand the concept of sharing. In fact, a recent Swiss study found that kids don't really learn to understand fairness and sharing until age 7-8. Try to remember that it has nothing to do with her wanting to be mean to your son, or just not wanting him to have anything, it's just completely normal for her level of development to believe that the whole world belongs to her. But reinforcing the sharing behaviour should eventually start to sink in whether she really understands it or not. Hang in there, she'll get it eventually!

Jennifer - posted on 12/22/2009




I used to work and my kids went to a babysitter that would watch up to 6 kids at once. She used to have a bunch of kids fight over the same toy and tell each other that it was theirs. Finally one day she told all of them that the toys belonged to her and that she was shareing them, so if they wanted to play they had to share them also. I used to tell my kids the same thing and it worked great. I would just tell them that all the toys belonged to me and that I was sharing the toys with them. After just a couple days I no longer heard my kids screaming "mine!"

Temeka - posted on 12/21/2009




I'm not sure who you're trying to get your 2.5 year old to share with. I read somewhere it's pretty hard because at that age they don't associate things the way we do. It's almost as if the object is a part of themselves.

Anyway - on that note, a friend of mine had a GREAT idea that worked with her kids cuz I was at my wits end with my 2 year old. She had the kids trade. Of course it works with certain aged children. My 1 year old would have something my 2 year old wanted and because the 1 year old was easily distracted I'd have the 2 year old offer an alternate toy for the 1 year old to play with. Has worked so far!!

Hope that helps!

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