How do I get my 3 year old to sleep in her own bed?

[deleted account] ( 6 moms have responded )

I need some ideas on getting my daughter to fall asleep and stay asleep in her own bed. I've tried everything and she keeps coming back to our bed. Now she wont event fall asleep in her bed unless I'm in her room with her. Any advise?


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Rebecca - posted on 12/15/2009




If all else fails u could try sleep school i took my son there it was a great place and really dose work but like anything u have to stick to it and well i did not and hence my 3 year son still sleeps with mum. However he goes to bed himself and i dont hold him for hours on end, i love sleeping with him though and i only went to get him to start off by himself the place is called tweddle sleep school they help with other things as well.

[deleted account]

my mom said when i was little i did the same thing! would wake up everynight and go to their room. put a coin(amount of your choice, i used to get a loonie) on her dresser. if she stays in her bed all night, she gets to keep it, if she comes to your room you get to take it back. worked for me most nights! worth a try right? maybe a night light? could she be scared of the dark?

Meleah - posted on 12/15/2009




I completely agree with Amanda!! Be consistent. My daughter has always slept in her own bed but around 2 years old she decided she wasnt going to stay in bed and when I would put her to bed she would instantly get up and come running out of her room. It took 3 nights of me putting her back to bed every time. Trust me this is tiring beyond belief. She threw some major fits, but I camly just put her back in her bed and told her to stay there. After the third night she never tried getting up again and now she is 2 1/2

Amanda - posted on 12/15/2009




When I first started putting my 3 yr old son in a toddler bed he would keep getting and and running around thinking it was a game. What I eventually did was get into a routine where I will read him 2-3 books and then have him lay down with one of the books and "read it to spongebob" his favorite stuffed toy. I will leave the light on, but close his door. Then he will lay there looking at the book and eventually just fall asleep. I would then go and turn off his light. At the beginning he got up a few times but I told him I would take his book away and turn off the light and after I did that once he decided to stay in bed after that. If he wakes up at night I wont let him sleep in my bed at all I will get up and just take him back to his bed and after doing that a few nights he hardly ever gets up anymore. The most important thing is to be consistent. Whichever suggestion you use, just try to do it the same way for a few weeks and see if it works. And I know its hard but dont give in even once if they come to your room at night b/c then she will think its ok and just go right back to sleeping with you again. I hope this helps!

Misti - posted on 12/15/2009




This can be so hard! f she doesn't already have a comfort item like a special blanket or stuffed animal, with her help find one she likes that is especially cuddly. a night light is important, too... What i did with my daughter is this : first i made a little calendar with her...i just used a plain one from a bank and let her decorate it..then we got some stickers and chose a "big girl day" to count down to....each day we added a sticker, and when we did we talked about it being time for her to start being a big girl, and that we were going to count down to the time when she would eventually have to sleep in her bed on her own...this gave her time to get used to the idea...i also made a very big deal about her doing 'big girl' things...and gave her little treats when she did...when the time got closer, instead of laying next to her i sat in a chair, letting her get used to comforting herself to sleep....then on the night we chose, when she slept on her own i gave her an extra special treat the next day...for us it was a trip to the park....

you may have a few weeks of adjustment, with her getting up, etc...but if you stick to it it really daughter is 5 and still wants to sleep with me sometimes, but she goes to her own bed just fine when i need her to!

good luck!

Jennifer - posted on 12/15/2009




How does she react when you put her in her bed? Does she have a favorite stuffed animal or blanket she likes to sleep with? I never had this problem with any of my children but I do know mothers who did. Do you have music playing in the background or a night light? The music should relax her and the night light will help make it less scary.

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