How do I get my almost 1 yr old to play instead of following me around all day screaming?

Savannah - posted on 10/23/2009 ( 14 moms have responded )

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It's to the point noe that I can't even clean let alone do my job and school too! She doesn't want to spend anytime with my DH and I can't take this much longer. I feel horrid to say this but she is becomeing a pain in my tush and my head. I devote all my time to her and even my husband is suffering and it's gotten so bad that I can't even put her down to eat! I really need help here.

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Savannah - posted on 10/24/2009

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I just want to thank all of you for the wonderful advice :) I'll give it a shot and see how it works.

Thanks again. :D

Elisabeth - posted on 10/24/2009

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At this stage I found both my kids liked being in the high chair close to where I was. They were close by, could see what I was doing, but not under my feet and whinging.

Anna - posted on 10/24/2009

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I know the feeling. Some days you just can't do anything. I find it hard and I don't have a job or study to do. She's at the age where separation anxiety kicks in. If you can summon the patience, let her follow you everywhere, even into the bathroom. Then she will eventually learn to trust you won't leave her. If you do have to leave her, even for a moment, don't sneak off. Always tell her 'bye-bye' or something to let her know.
Is she getting enough naps and sleep at night? If they get chronically overtired it makes them more clingy. Try getting her to bed earlier?
I find it helps to pay some good attention to my son in short spurts, like actually get down on the floor at his level and spend a couple of minutes paying full attention to him. If you keep doing this every 15 minutes, you get 10 minute blocks to yourself without any whining.

Thea - posted on 10/24/2009

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Distraction!!!! Do something with her to get her playing by herself. Then sit a few feet away and fold landery. when cooking get out the pots and pans, bowls, spoons, first. Then maybe have her help stir something. At meal time have her high chair right up to the table. slowly move her closer to it till she is in it. She just wants to know you wont leave her. Get her involved in what you are doing. My little one loves to help me clean. when it is something she can't help with, giv her a special toy or activity to do. something that she only can do when you can't be doing something with her. Make it fun!!!! Get Daddy to help when he can!!!!!!

Shayna - posted on 10/24/2009

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My son is 3 years old & although he will do things on his own he often wants his me or his fathers company. I make play dates for him as often as possible because what child wants to play by themselves?! You could consider daycare a couple of time a week as a option. Not only to get time to yourself, but also for her sake, so she can be around other children and enjoy herself more.

Sarah - posted on 10/23/2009

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At an early 1 it is still pretty little to have them play by themselves. Their attention spans are still not good and they are more investigating things than playing so much. I would say closer to 18 mos. is more when they start to play more and it becomes a bit more easier to have them sit and play on their own. My suggestion for trying to get your work done is do it during her times she sleeps. I know this is hard and can get to be late nights. Or see if you can find a 12/13 yr old that would enjoy playing with her while you get some work done. I did school, internship (job) and a newborn and really you just do all that you can to survive. To me it was really hard to do because you can never put the energy into anything because you are spread so thin. Also know it is OK for her to cry at times too. Make sure you are getting snuggles in, but if it is meal time I would suggest getting her use to sitting in a high chair while everyone eats. If she cries she cries, but this is a good routine for her to get use to. Also evaluate all that you are doing. If you are doing school full-time would it work better if you went part-time for awhile? Don't give up on your dreams and goals just re-evaluate the situation and see if there are things that need to be adjusted.

Nicole - posted on 10/23/2009

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Supernanny does a "play and walk away" technique. You sit down and start playing something with your kid, something you can easily walk away from once she's into it. Then do whatever you need to do and just pass by every now and then and tell her what a good job she's doing on whatever you guys started.

Cathy - posted on 10/23/2009

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Sound like you do not have any close-by family to support you. You can try mom support group from your church. You may find older school girls (12+) in your neighborhood to baby-sit in your house while you work or study.

Krista - posted on 10/23/2009

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If you're working and going to school, it sounds like she just desparately wants to be with you. Try spending time with her, cuddling her and lavishing her with love. Tickles, kisses, sillyness, coloring and what-not. She is only a burden if you see her as one.

Savannah - posted on 10/23/2009

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I do have a carrier but we both get to hot in that thing. I love to snuggle with her, but it's hard to do when I'm trying to work on school and my job because it's all on-line (for the most part) and she loves to smack mama's laptop while she trying to type.

Stephanie - posted on 10/23/2009

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Do you have carrier or mei tai or something like that? Some babies just want to with their mommies. My youngest is like that. I carried her around for the first year. If I set her down, she cried/screamed. it was awful. If I held her, she was happy as a clam.
Now she's two1/2. and she likes to be held a lot. but I can make her walk or ride in her stroller when we go out. At home, she's always climbing into my lap.
If I fight with her over it, life's awful. If I just accept it and enjoy her, it's much better.

It's only a year or two. Sooner than I'd like, she'll be off growing up and not want me so much. There are worse things than snuggling with a sweet little girl all afternoon. :)

Nikki - posted on 10/23/2009

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try a play pen and put it in whatever room you're in so she can still see you..but all babies go through that stage..some grow out of it and others don't..it gets better though!

Victoria - posted on 10/23/2009

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well what has worked for me is at first i made her sit and play i would walk away and yes she cried but i didn't pick her up and waited in another room then she found something to play with now what i do now is put her in he rhigh chair and give her puffeis or a bitter biscuit while i do dishes she love it . and also i give her controll of most the house i jus put the gates up an let her roam. it actually help me help her bring out her independence

Allyson - posted on 10/23/2009

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I am having the same problem with my daughter and she is also 1. My son was so different from her but I have found that if I give her a cloth or something to do with what I am doing it helps. I have also been letting her cry and she eventually finds something to entertain herself, eg. pots and pans are a big hit.



Good Luck

hope you find what works for her.

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