How do I get my two-year-old daughter and my five-year-old daughter to get along with eachother?

Joanna - posted on 09/25/2009 ( 7 moms have responded )

5

5

0

My girls are constantly fighting over either toys or attention and I'm not sure how to make them get along with eachother. My oldest is very bossy and possessive, while my youngest is a follower, a smotherer and can be stubborn (She gets the stubborness from her daddy). I try to teach them that sharing is "love" and that they should love and protect eachother. Whenever they get into a fight I make them opologize to eachother afterward and hug and kiss. So, expert mommas, do any of you kind ladies have any advice? I'd really appreciate it!! Thanks =D I can take criticism too, so don't worry about hurting any feelings!



~Joanna, 25, Michigan

7 Comments

View replies by

Joanna - posted on 09/25/2009

5

5

0

Thankyou Jacqueline for your advice =) My youngest is the same as yours and loves learning things from big sis! It's so funny how all they want to do is impress you =) Praise is so important and I really try to praise both my girls when they achieve something. Maybe we could since the ABC's tomorrow and dance around the living room =D I think my girls would like that and hey I think they would be having so much fun that they would stop fighting for a few minutes lol Thanks again ;)

Jacqueline - posted on 09/25/2009

1

16

0

I have a son, now 8 and a daughter, now 3. I have asked my oldest to try to teach the youngest something. He got a kick out of his sister learning things from him like shapes and numbers (and received lots of praise) and she looks up to him for everything now (and receives lots of attention for her knowledge). I have now started babysitting and I am trying it out with the 15 mo old girl. My daughter and this young girl are not getting along the whole day, except when my daughter is trying to teach her the alphabet. My daughter sings the alphabet and the young girl dances and they both laugh together!

if your "oldest is bossy" and your "youngest is a follower" it may work out perfectly! They could play "school"

I hope it helps

Jacqueline

Joanna - posted on 09/25/2009

5

5

0

Thankyou Michelle for your comment and advice. Sounds like you really have your hands full and now I am going to stop complaining lol I like how you said you put the toy in time-out, that's a really cute idea and I know that would work with my girls. My oldest, Cameron really doesn't get much sleep. She just started school this year and even though it's only a 3 hour day for her since it's just a "growth year" she does not get afternoon naps anymore like she used to because she has afternoon class. I tried to get her into morning class but they were full, so this was my only other alternative. And even though it has its benefits like not having to wake up super early and be in a rush to get Cameron dressed, fed, and out the door, I guess it has its setbacks too. Maybe I just need to have a little more patience with Cameron and a more positive approach to her temper tantrums and not being able to share her things. Thankyou again for your wise words momma! =D

Michelle - posted on 09/25/2009

18

3

4

Is it every time that they play together or just at certain times of the day? Sometimes it can be that one or the other is more tired and isn't able to control their emotions as well. I have noticed that when my daughter is tired or has had a busy day, she is more likely to argue/fight with another child than if she is rested and not overwhelmed by all of the day's other activities.
I have an only child, but when she is with her friends or cousins and they start to argue/fight over a toy, I usually tell them that if they can't take turns playing with the toy, the TOY needs to go in a timeout until I feel it is ready to be played with again. My daughter is usually the one that starts the arguing even if she doesn't know why she she does.
My daughter has ADHD/ODD/EBD and it is VERY difficult to try to explain to her and the other kids WHY she sometimes acts this way. She has cousins that are very passive and just give in to her and others that are leaders and very bossy that fight back with her so depending on who she is with determines how she behaves unfortunately. I also find that if I ask them to play nicely and not fight/argue or the "play date" will have to stop, they find other ways to play with each other without the confrontations between them. Sometimes it is as simple as telling them that they all need to take a break from each other and read a book, color, do crafts or something else to get their minds from being "overloaded" with each other. After they all have had time to unwind and calm down, I try to talk to them about how important it is that they show each other how much they love and respect each other with nice voices and words and that if they use nice voices and words, they can have more fun playing.

Joanna - posted on 09/25/2009

5

5

0

Thankyou Ashley! You are a wise momma and I will definitely take your advice! My oldest loves pleasing me and I know that she would get a kick out of my observing her using manners towards her little sister lol =) And since little sis is a follower I know that she will learn how to ask nicely as well. Thankyou again!

Ashley - posted on 09/25/2009

12

16

4

what i do is tell the one that wants the toy the other one has that they can wait until it's her turn and to find another toy to play with. also, teach your children to talk respectfully to each other by having the one ask, " when you are done with that can I play with it please?" it takes a few tries at it but it has calmed situations down at my house many times. good luck.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms