HOW DO I GET OVER A CHEETING HUSBAND WITHOUT LOSING MY FAMILY CAUSE I HURT SO MUCH

Melissa - posted on 04/12/2010 ( 13 moms have responded )

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I FEEL LIKE MY WORLD HAS DROPED OUT FROM UNDER ME

13 Comments

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Carrie - posted on 04/15/2010

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In my opinion try marriage counseling. If you go to church you may want to talk to your pastor. You should ask yourself some hard questions like do you still love him? Is this the 1st time that you know of this has happened? Is he a good father? Is he a good husband other than this? Is he still with this person or anyone besides you that you know of? How did you find out? Did he come to you and tell you or did he get caught? There is a differance in my opinion. Give yourself time to process all of the information he has given you. Take some time apart if that is what you need to do. Make sure not to take anything out on the children (not sure how many kids you have). If you decide to talk to him about it to get more details and sort out your feelings be sure to not do it in front of the child(ren). Best if they are with grandparents or a babysitter. I will pray for you and your family. Good luck and God bless.

Annemaree - posted on 04/12/2010

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i agree this is somthing he will only do again n hurt u and ur kis more u wouldnt want to confuse the kids about love teaching them that its ok to do this they will find out trust me ive been there my mother stayed with my dad n i grew up hating im .... thinking if she had off just left kids can deal with that more n to this day i wouldnt have even thought it was because of another woman n i would still have both of my parents ... all i can say is good luck in ur decision......

Marcia - posted on 04/12/2010

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I'm very sorry. I agree with everyone else. Start with marriage counselling and take it from there. Also rely on friends and family. You are strong. Best of luck and my prayers are with you. Let us know how you are!

Stefania - posted on 04/12/2010

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Real quick i wanted to add...dont stay with him if the only reason is for your children because that will just make it worse.

Stefania - posted on 04/12/2010

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I personally dont think i could EVER get over something like that but i do love him & if he was truly sorry...wait what am i talking about. Im sorry i just couldnt bring myself to look at him but thats just me. If you can bring yourself to forgive him & he is TRUELY sorry then try marriage theropy & see if that works. I understand that you don't want to loose your family so that means you still love him which is a plus. If you can find it in your heart to forgive him for the terrible thing he did to you then thats the biggest step. The hardest step is going to be to be able to trust him again. I hope this helped & i wish you & your family the best. I would really consider the marriage counseling, ive heard good things about it.

Sarah - posted on 04/12/2010

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forgiveness is the key to gettining through this. Bitterness will only hurt you, and make it harder. By forgiving him it will allow you to heal, and not feel so much pain. I know it is so hard. It doesnt mean that you have to stay with him.

Angela - posted on 04/12/2010

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i agree with everyone who said not to stay in the relationship for the kids, it will just make it worse. I believe its a 2 way street on staying together. There might be some underlying issues on why he cheeted in the first place that need to get worked out. you also have to think about if you will be able to forgive and move on! I know you will never forget because that is the deepest form of betrayal in my eyes but sometimes we can forgive an move on. My husband cheeted on me about 4 years ago when we were just dating and he felt so horrible and told me about it and he said he wanted to stay with me and wanted to make it work and would never do it again and we made a decision to stay together and at first it was hard, and ill be honest a couple arguments we got into i brought it back up and tossed it in his face. eventually my now husband said look you cant keep bringing it up, you can either move on from it or we can split up. and he was right, it was not fair to continue to bring it up so i made the choice to stay and to move on and now here we are happily married and nothing could be better! do lots of soal searching and make sure he does too! as well as if your going to do counsling, make sure he is very willing to do it as well !! good luck to you and stay strong no matter what you deserve the best in life!!

Brean - posted on 04/12/2010

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try a couples retreat, but please do not stay in the relationship simply for the kids. It does not do the children any favors, my parents stayed together for quite some time after things were truly over for me and my sister and it was the worst thing possible. I still remember hearing them argue, hearing my mom cry and my dad always storming off. (my dad also cheated on my mom)

Lori - posted on 04/12/2010

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I have to agree with everyone. Marriage Counseling. And a lot of it. You didn't state much about the situation but the success or failure rate depends upon the commitment and effort that each individual in the marriage is willing to partake. It HAS to come from both sides in willingness to make it work. There are no overnight fixes. It's going to take time to heal. I not only recommend marriage counseling but also highly recommend seeing a marriage cousoler that has seminars such as His Needs Her Needs for you and your signifigant other to find out where your differences lay and how to put you both back on the same page and perhaps rekindle the relationship after infidelity has occured. I wish you the best of luck. Stand Firm & Stay Strong

Marcia - posted on 04/12/2010

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Marriage counceling is the best way to get through this. If you are strong in a church have the pastor reccomend a councelor. That is how my husband and I did it. 7 years ago he cheated on me, and we are great today!! I wish you the very best!

Shy - posted on 04/12/2010

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Melissa,

Do not stay with him for the kids. If you want to try to work through things try marriage couseling. ( I hope I spelled that right) I wish you all the luck. Stay strong.

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