How do I handle rage in my children?

CRYSTAL - posted on 05/13/2010 ( 6 moms have responded )

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My boys have very bad tempers and I can not control them when they are throughing a fit.

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Sheryl - posted on 05/14/2010

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wow yeah after ward we let them know we love them and want them to be the best that they can be! and give them a big hug!

Sheryl - posted on 05/14/2010

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in my house we till them that it not allowed! so when that happens we put them in time out and till them why they are there in a stern tone and till them how long they are setting there. and if they get out they are going right back, till they finsh all the the time with out getting out and being quit. they hate it but it works to the point my son set there tilling me mommy i sorry! i till him well talk when your 3 mins. are up! plus we get down on there level not in to there face but there level! we go mins. by age. but everything they get out its starts over(the time). my husbend also has had talks with them that you may see other hit there mommies and daddy but that is not aloud. like the this one time my son did it at school so i told him when he gets home that your going to time out. that that going to happen. he knew when he got home where it was too. never did it again. best of luck!

Joy - posted on 05/14/2010

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my 2 year old will throw a fit sometimes but i to don't know what to do cause i can't beat his butt cause he has a heart defect..so i just let him get over it him self or bribe him with a popcicle..call me wrong but it works.

Kristin - posted on 05/13/2010

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I give my both of my boys a timeout/cool down period of one minute per year. For the fit, make sure they are safe and walk away. Do not give them the attention they are looking for when they throw these fits. You will be surprised at just how quickly they end when they are getting no response. This works at home, at least.



If we are out and they act up, although it is usually just one at a time, I have no problems tossing the offending one over my shoulder and taking them home. It's amazing just how effective a fireman's carry is with a larger child.



When things have calmed down, we talk about what the big deal was. Usually it's having a bit more say in what's going on with their day. So, I make more of an effort to count them down to things; 10 minutes until we leave, 5 minutes - get your shoes, 2 minutes - coats and we are out the door. Modify for whatever task needs doing. Also, I remind them that screaming at me isn't going to get them what they want. Using their words and asking is much more likely, especially if they use their manners.



Good luck, these are just some things to consider and maybe try.

Andi - posted on 05/13/2010

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It really depends on the children's ages. My daughter had an issue with this about a year ago. At first it took me by surprise, and I handled it all wrong having no experience with it. Finally what worked for her was just sending her to her room and telling her that she can come out when she calms down. I told her it was not a time out, just a cool off period and when she was calm she could just come walking out. She didn't have to ask. I would take the same cool off period and go read a book and wait for her to pull it together. It only took a couple of these trips before she was able to master the skills to calm herself down. I did not time these, as I didn't really think of them as punishment but a chance to learn. At first it took quite some time, maybe close to an hour. By the end of that phase, she was in her room no longer than 5 minutes before calming down and coming out. She was 5 at the time.

Carolyn - posted on 05/13/2010

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My 4 year old had recently developed a real nasty temper when he's mad. I am usually at a loss as to the actual trigger. I don't understand how "wash your hands" can lead to hitting and punching me. We try yo talk about why he was upset (after the fact because during is just a waste of breath) but I have in the last week found that keeping myself calm and quiet is the best trick. I simply pick him up, tell him we don't act like this in this house and carry him to his room. He can't destroy his room too much (just books and his bed in there) and he calms down in a reasonable amount of time. I will leave him longer if I need to calm down. I hope that may help.

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