How do I tell my 2.5 & 5.5 year old their favorite Grandfather is dieing?

Lea - posted on 04/21/2010 ( 2 moms have responded )

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My Dad was diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer. My 5,5 year old son is OCD, ODD has severe anxiety & other issues. When my father-in-law had a triple by-pass, my son fretted for months after that about him, some time having to call my father in law 3 or 4 times a day to calm my son down. Now with my Dad having to be hospitalized I have no idea what to tell my son. He and my daughter are very, very close to my parents, we are with them about twice a month. My kids will call him just to talk or if they did something great or to ask when they are come back. I am at a loss of what to say to my son & daughter. And God forbid my father does pass then what am I to do?

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Katrina - posted on 04/22/2010

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I have a 8yr old (Nichole) and a 5yr old (Nattallie). Their Great Grandpa has passed from dealing with cancer for about 6 years, right after that their Great Aunt passed from cancer (leaving a 5 year daughter behind), and last November their favorite Great Grandma passed unexpectedly, and right now their other Great Grandpa is dealing with having lung cancer. We tell them the truth, and try to soften the blow after... with both of their grandpa's, they did bad things all of their lives like drink and smoke and it hurts your body and will kill you... Their Aunt had bone cancer so there was no explanation to that, we just said that she's sick and soon the angles are going to come down and get her - God wants her back home with him... and after her passing we told them that now she is their cousins guardian angel... And with their grandma, well we just said that she went to sleep and god decided it was her time for her to be with grandpa again... Now Nattallie cries all of the time telling us how she misses her grandma and grandpa. She'll hear a sad song and will tell us that it makes her think of them. She has also asked if "when your dead does that mean that you can never come back"? And we say yes, that she is gone forever, but we keep her with us in our hearts and memories. We are just there to comfort her in what ever way we can. It's a hard thing to deal with especially with young children who don't or can't (and shouldn't have to) understand adult issues. I'm sorry for what you are going through and hope that I have helped some... Wishing your family the best in this pressing time ♥

Michelle - posted on 04/22/2010

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i dont know about telling them he is dieing cause dont think they will understand when my husbands grandad died back last year my oldest son was 5 and twins were 2 and just said he had gone to live in heaven with my cat cause he remember the cat and also other family members it is hard trying to explain to a child kept asking when he was comming back and why all you can think of really is saying he was very tired and closed his eyes and could'nt wake up so sorry about your news dont really know what else to suggest.

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