How do u deal with terrible 2's

Tonya - posted on 08/06/2009 ( 18 moms have responded )

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My son won't listen, he does everything the opposite, he throws things at me i need help. and i'm a single mom of two

18 Comments

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Kathryn - posted on 08/14/2009

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I agree with everyone who has discussd timeouts, my daughter just turned two but the terrible part started to show at 18 months. When she gets together with her best friend one of them is in timeout most of the time, they keep the chair warm for each other! I've read that 1 minute per year old is appropriate for timeouts as they will lose grasp of what's going on beyond that. So what I do is strap her into a highchair, explain what she's done wrong and turn her towards the wall for 2 minutes. Afterwards I go and get her, explain it again and let her know that doing it again will result in timeout. If it's an object causing trouble, it's obviously taken away right away and not brought back until the next day. When she was too young for timeout, I told her what she did was wrong and then read a short story with her in my lap, which would calm her back down, as often the problem was simply that she was too wound up. I hope this helps :)

Tee - posted on 08/13/2009

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With our son we did timeouts in a rm where he would be alone to calm down. Our daughter was fine in the 2's the 3's are another story. I've talked several women who say its the tormenting three's not terrible twos and I agree. With our daughter it works to totally ignore her. she cant stand it when we wont acknowledge her at all. When she is calmed down we try to tell her that her actions aren'.t good. That we still love her not her actions

Sja - posted on 08/13/2009

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My dear children are very smart and they look at the way we deal with them and if they get away with something once and you laughed at it they will do it again, and again. Be stern yet with love and at times you have to learn to be a mother and not a friend to many times we are friends.
This behavior can be curbed with smart ways of discipline if you leave it unchecked that behaviour will embarrass you in public and because of shame you will want to spank in public or give a good shake, do not wait until such a time.
you can put him to sit and give him the stern eye so he will not move every time he does something wrong, and in placing him to sit down you must speak to him and let him know why he is being disciplined. Other measures are like taking away favorite toy for a while, or no television etc. But in all the discipline let LOVE be manifested my dear.

Sara - posted on 08/13/2009

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Terrible 2s are really terrible 16-34 months and in my case, were the result of a lack of communication. As soon as your child begins communicating with you (understanding of routine and deviations thereof, talking or signing) your role as a parent is no longer just "provide for" and instead is now "listen to, decipher and choose or provide." With my first (and second) my pediatrician told me to ignore them. How can you ignore a child who may hurt themselves in the midst of a violent fit? Most of the time, my girls tantrum for a reason. Early on, they were tired or hungry added with the frustration of my inability to "communicate" with them. When were older, 2.5-3, boredom was added to the mix. If you can fix one of these, you can usually avoid a fit. However, in those cases when nothing seems to help, there is always distraction and there are many to choose from. Be creative!

Nicole - posted on 08/13/2009

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I've totally been there...with 2 boys 20 months apart. They are now 9 & 10, but I can vividly remember moving to Toronto without any network for a small break from them- while working full-time and going to University full-time. No Family, No friends...very isolating and dealing with two babes still in diapers who could manipulate any situation to be as embarrassing and almost intolerable...but this is the age for it...pushing boundaries, etc. Although I had a few meltdowns, I had to remind myself that they needed positive attention as much as I could give...the tantrums was their way of getting ANY attention...if you buy into it with spanks(unless they're in danger) yelling, and possibly letting them carry-on that way, it could lead to this becoming the "norm" instead of discipline....which they need although, at times it feels impossible. Try removing his favorite toys until you see a change and rewarding him with good behaviour (by giving them back).....Don't give in...you RUN the roost- not him. Don't over-compensate for any lacking or guilt you may have(if you do)...you may just need a break to re-evaluate the situation...remember that both kids will feed off of each other and do ANYTHING to get your attention...only give it when it's a positive thing...that willl help set boundaries and hopefully he'll start to realise that he won't get it if he misbehaves and will set a good example for the other child. Hope this helps :) Be strong

Ashley - posted on 08/13/2009

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my daughter is two and a half and she was doing the same thing. i just kept putting her in time outs for 2 mintues. do as many mintues as there age. i would put her in a corner away from everything and nothing in her sight and she sat there for 2 mintues and if she got up i wouldn't get mad or yell just put her back in the corner and her 2 mintes would start over till she sat there for the full 2 mintues. then when she was done i would tell her that i love her and explain why she was in a time out. its hard to begin with but now if she does something all i say is do you want to go in time out and she stops. good luck.

Michelle - posted on 08/13/2009

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I have a strong willed child it can be friustrating to say the least. Don't ever give in to him to end a tantrum. Be firm, but try your best to stay in control of the situation. Dont react to his behavior, just make sure he dosn't get hurt. I dont know what your opinion is on spanking but it works wonders and around two is a good time to start. Never do it in anger, make sure you are in control of your emotions when you do it. Im not talking about really hurting the child, just a swat on the bottom. It does need to be firm enough to get his attention though, just never so hard it leaves a bruise. "Spare the rod spoil the child". (Im sure I will get some coments from all this, save your time and energy people) Here are some great books that can help you: Dare To Discipline, James Dobson, The Stong Willed Child, same auther, Bringing Up Boys, same auther, Kevin Leeman is also a great auther, I think his book is: Have a new child by Friday Hang in there and dont let your child control your life. Also get him out where he can play and get that energy out as much as possible, dont let him get bored. When a toddler is bored something bad is going to happen!

Ashley - posted on 08/11/2009

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A lot of people may object to this, but my husband and I have started spanking our daughter's hand since she was 10 months old. The reason being is that she's very smart, and she's tested us from an early age. When she does something we tell her ONCE not to do it. If she chooses to do it again anyway, we spank her hand and point to whatever she's done. After that we pick her up, give her a hug, and calmly explain the reasoning, even if she has no clue what I'm saying. (We do that for practice for when she gets older ) Then we tell her we love her even if what she did wasn't favorable. And that's the end of it. Now she's 18 months old and she knows when to listen when her parents tell her something. It's all about consistency...

Emma - posted on 08/11/2009

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my son is 15 months old and the health visitor says he goin through this early and it is a very stressful time.

i have a corner of the lounge that when he is naughty he has to stay there for 2 mins and then he can go and play he also has a reward chart honestly supernanny get her book it is great!!! x x

Amanda - posted on 08/09/2009

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Well my girl just turn 2 last monday a she throw things,bitting, ad kicking.So what I do is talk to her. Then if she do it again I wap that butt. Because,her doctor told me to.

Laura - posted on 08/07/2009

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I remember when my son used to draw on walls with his crayons. I used to get him to wear rubber gloves and get a Magic Eraser and he'd scrub all the crayon off the walls, that he did. He didn't do it again, he was having so much fun cleaning the walls he wanted to clean other things. My son used to and still does once in awhile, like to help me with things, like putting laundry in the dryer... or rinsing dishes, not washing dishes as the water is too hot... little things can make him feel proud and it will help you as well. I don't know if your child is the older of the 2 you have, I remember helping my mom with my 2 younger sisters when I was much younger. Get him involved so that he gains some self importance. Definitely take away whatever he is throwing, because it can not only hurt you, but his sibling and himself. Good luck Tonya! I hope this helps some!

Laura - posted on 08/07/2009

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My son wasn't like that at 2 he started at 3. Just be firm and stern, but don't hurt him. Give him a reason why his behaviour isn't appropriate and get down on his level and talk to him. He is just testing your boundaries. Take that whatever he is throwing, up or away. I had to do that with my son. It is a stage and it will wear out eventually. Just like kids drawing on walls, temper tantrums etc... Tell him you love him very much, but his behaviour is unacceptable. Put him in for a time out, for a couple of minutes, then talk to him after his time out quietly, that he can understand.

Clare - posted on 08/07/2009

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My son started to show signs of terrible 2's when he was 18 months. We just ignored him and sometimes joined in his tantrums and he got over it with ease. The funniest thing was when I heard about other parents joining them in the tantrums, I thought it was the oddest thing but when I tried it, my son would look at me like I was crazy or try hard not to laugh through the whinning. I can't remember how long the ignoring it part lasted but all I know is by the time he was two, he wasn't a terrible two boy so much.

Amanda - posted on 08/07/2009

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Ugh, I have a one and a half year old and I think she's starting early...

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Any help would be good...

Tonya - posted on 08/06/2009

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Quoting April:

my son is the same way and he's 2 as well. he don't listen to me one bit. I do get frustrated about it too. I spank, yell, and even talk to him telling him no and he laughs and does it 2 times worst than what he did before. Constantly throwing things and ect.. I don't know how I deal with it, I just do. Just dont give up. I'm still tryin to figure out how to deal with it as well. So soon as you figure that out, let me know will ya and I'll do the same



lol i;m glad to kno i;m not the only one out here having this problem. i;ve done everything u have i've even ignored him and man it doesn;t work. i take them to a strick babysitters and i copy how she;s watching my kids and the disapline and all that and some times i get lucky but i dnt. i spend as much time with them as i can but its hard lol. but ya if u figure something out let me kno to thanks.

April - posted on 08/06/2009

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my son is the same way and he's 2 as well. he don't listen to me one bit. I do get frustrated about it too. I spank, yell, and even talk to him telling him no and he laughs and does it 2 times worst than what he did before. Constantly throwing things and ect.. I don't know how I deal with it, I just do. Just dont give up. I'm still tryin to figure out how to deal with it as well. So soon as you figure that out, let me know will ya and I'll do the same

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