how do u manage when ur home is a real mess and both of ur children r crying for u wat do u do then

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Dara - posted on 03/25/2010

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Just do your best to stay calm. It sounds like maybe you have pretty young kids...I have two, my oldest just turned two in January and my youngest will be one in May so I'm right there with ya. If you feel you can't keep your calm, scoop them up and put them in their cribs, a swing, a highchair or just somewhere you know they won't escape from or be able to hurt themselves and take a few minutes for you. I've locked myself in the bathroom and cried it out numerous times...especially when my youngest was first born and I was adapting to having more than one child. It is a handfull and is nearly impossible some days to keep your cool. But just like another Mom said when you freak out they freak out. It definitely seems the more stressed I am the more unruly the kids are. Just take a break and walk away. Tone them out...we all know how to do that. Or learn to do that...maybe that's part of the problem. Again, like many others have said have them help. Even my youngest has gotten to the point where she likes picking toys up so I put a handfull in front of her while big sis and I do the rest. My oldest loves helping too, especially with dishes. So what I have done is retired a bottle brush and given it to her to use with her play dishes. I get it wet, put soap on it as though I were going to use it, get it all sudsy and then squeeze nearly all the water out. What she is left with is suds...she is able to "wash" her own dishes and actually see soap so she really feels like she's helping more. And another thing, not sure about you but I have found that the kitchen is definitely the most difficult room to get cleaned when the girls won't stay off my heels. Make a drawer or cupboard just theirs. I filled mine with odds and ends...tupperware, unused paper lunch bags (they make noise and like that), plastic spoons of mine and theirs and they take it all out and make a mess of it but I just throw it back in there and clean it all every few days. Oh another thing...a Mom friend of mine told me she only cleans while the kids are up, yes it takes longer but when the kids are down that is when she has her ME time. NO cleaning, NO kids, just you. I don't get much if any time to myself but try, as should you. Good luck with everything! PS...ask for help, don't be afraid to. From friends, family, the children's father, whoever, don't feel bad about needing help. We all do!

Kristin - posted on 03/25/2010

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You don't say how old your kids are. How to handle it is kind of age dependent. If they are older, get them involved. You are not their personal cleaning service. If they can be distracted by coloring or playing with trains/dolls, have them do that while you get 15 minutes of work done. If they are younger, you've got naptime, bedtime, and when your husband is home.

Ultimately, find a level of mess you can tolerate and work to maintain that. When your kids are older, they won't care or remember if the house was messy and there were dishes in the sink. They will remember coloring with you and playing pirates and princesses in the yard. As they get bigger, you will have more time to keep the house clean.

So, when mine are crying and the house looks like a tornado ripped through it. I will take 5-10 minutes and see to them and what they need. They come first 95% of the time. Once they are calmed down, then I can do what I need to do. I just don't expect to get more than 20 minutes unless their father is home. Good luck.

Erica - posted on 03/25/2010

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you take care of the kids, the house can get cleaned later. somedays you will have 5 minutes to do it, and other days you may have a couple of hours. take advantage of the days you do, and dont feel guilty about the days you dont!!

Jenn - posted on 03/25/2010

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I try to do a little bit each day, and the majority of it gets done when the little ones are napping. My 4 year old is more understanding that things need to get done, and he likes to help sometimes, or he'll watch a movie while I do some housework. Also, make sure that the kids are getting some good quality time with you beforehand so that they feel like their needs have been met and they are less likely to be crying for you.

Barbara - posted on 03/25/2010

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I used to be a 'clean-a-holic' until I had 3 kids! I was up at midnight, but I had a baby, 2-year-old, and 5-year-old - not a good thing! I needed rest and I needed to realize what was important and re-align my priorities. Of course, you need to have things clean; bathroms, kitchen, etc, but make sure your standards are not too high, as a mother of young children. The time will come a little later when your standards can get higher again. Don't get stressed over toys out and some laundry waiting to be put away. There will be baby things out, like diapers, wipes, and other things they need that just take up space and make things look more cluttered than they really are.

Figure out ways to have children help, if possible, age permitting. They can pretend to use a broom, mop, clothes, etc. It seems like they love feeling like they are helping. But, if they are fussy or crying, take care of their needs first so that the noise doesn't get to you. You might need to change the mood in the house if it does start to get to you. I know that two kids fussing at the same time can be hard on mom. I found they are usually just worn out, or just need some attention - probably sounds familiar! It is ok to take a rest time with them.

Mandy - posted on 03/23/2010

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in my household the kids come first, if they are crying for me then I take care of their needs or play with them till they are calmer.....everything else can wait till later. Of course I don't leave my house a disaster, I'll tidy up from meals and try to keep the toy mess to a minimum.....but I time my major housework for nap time or for when they are calm and watching a movie or something.....or when daddy is playing with them.

Jessica - posted on 03/21/2010

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tell u some advise a neat freak told me..... play and take care of u kids even if it means the house is a mess, don't worry about what pep think ur kids will grow and leave but the house work is never done

Brandy - posted on 03/20/2010

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I'm not sure how old your kids are but my daughter is almost 2 and my son is 9 weeks. I try to make sure the baby is entertained then I will take my daughter with me and try to involve her in whatever I'm doing. If I'm dusting, I give her a clean cloth to wipe stuff with, If I'm doing dishes or cooking, I pull up a chair beside me and give her a clean wooden spoon and plastic bowl so she can pretend she is mixing something, if I am vacuuming, I get her to help me pick up the toys on the floor first. Another thing I can get her to do is put her at the table with some washable paints and paper or even just crayons can keep her entertained for quite a while. I just lay a sheet over the table first and put on her "painting shirt" so I don't have to worry about mess. And don't get so upset. Take some deep breaths and remember that they are just children and they love you and want to be around you. People around you are just going to have to accept that you are a mother and sometimes your house is going to be messy. They should realize that you are a better mother for letting your children come before your house.

Amber - posted on 03/20/2010

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Try to get them to take a nap and clean clean clean! or when they are in bed for the night, maybe get a baby sitter. It is alot easier to deal with crying kids when its clean, less stressful, in my opinion anyways :D

Neelma - posted on 03/20/2010

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yes i think that will work i'll try it but my kids r always interested in wat i m doin everytime roaming around me not play wid toys or watch cartoons this all make me a little upset....

Nikki - posted on 03/20/2010

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i get like that sometimes also! my daughter is only 11 months so she doesn't understand! i started putting her 'your baby can read' dvd's in or baby einstein dvd whichever...get her interested in that then i have about 30 mins to do what needs to be done! just a reminder if you are stressed and freaking out your children will! hope this helps! good luck!

Neelma - posted on 03/20/2010

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i understand but u know when the kids r crying i really become stressed or i dont know wat happen to me i started shouting at them that let me do something or wait for like that but do it have some bad effects on my kids the volume of mine or the noise i make i m not getting the way to handle i think i dont have patience to treat them polietly... plz help me to be calm n happy with the kids

Melissa - posted on 03/20/2010

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well i have 3 young children plus an ill spouse to take care of. It's hard....i personally put the children first (if they're crying..) get them settled and then do my house work. You really have to plan out times when you can get housework done. Go to todaysparent.com and in the search bar type "cleaning" they have some good suggestions and help. i know it's hard....

Christina - posted on 03/20/2010

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I have 3 kids and sometimes all 3 will cry but it ends up working out I still clean.My oldest is 3 and helps but screams about it.My second is 17months old and she is learning to be mommy's little helper as well.My youngest is only 3months and doesn't understand having to wait so its a lil hectice.But overall I kept to it and my older two are learning just to help me real quick.I have also learned how to clean a trashed place in 15 minutes or less.LOL.Just something you have to get use to along with them.Get them to start helping too even if it's just putting one toy away very slowly.

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